Freshman having issues at college

  1. Incompletes can be a burden to a kid who goes home struggling and could even be an obstacle to therapy and healing.

  2. One incomplete is one thing, 3-4 is a lot. Generally incompletes have to be done by the end of the next semester.

One of mine has an incomplete right now and had a mental health crisis that prevented finishing that ONE course in the next semester and the kind teacher gave them more time, but that is unusual.

In my opinion a medical withdrawal with grades deleted (no F’s or W’s) is the best way to go. But if this is not possible, no need for despair since the son can go to community college, start with one or two courses and do well, and build a decent transcript. The transcript from current college will follow him but chances are any 4 year college will prioritize the more recent grades. But CC needs to follow or be accompanied by evaluation and treatment, as well as registration for accommodations and support.

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Absolutely true - been there, seen a kid there. But the fact is, it would have been better, in that kid’s situation, to have taken the incomplete, rather than the withdrawal. They eventually got physically well enough to continue on and finish with a flourish. They realized, too late, that they could have gotten the credit and continued on that pathway, had they taken an incomplete instead of a withdrawal.

I’d say that if there’s no hope of the student becoming serious about the work over the summer, better to try for the medical withdrawal and erase the record, and do something else until they’ve grown up enough to start over again, probably while living at home for parental “support”, at your local 4 yr state college. But if OP feels that student could definitely finish it up this summer, would settle down to do the work as soon as they get home, then it’s definitely an option. Might even be possible for student to try again in the fall, at that school, with a contract in place and close academic support.

I am displaying my ignorance, but I thought (generally speaking, of course) that a medical withdrawal resulted in Ws, which were of no consequence to GPAs.

Is that not true?

A regular withdrawal after the refund and add/drop date results in W’s. W’s are not great to have on a transcript either, though they don’t affect a GPA. Medical withdrawals, in my experience at two schools, wipe the slate clean with no W’s. One school we have experience with doesn’t have medical withdrawals at all.

@parentologist, again, if there are 4 incompletes and the OP’s son is stressed, I think that the work would be burdensome. One course incomplete might be doable.

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She didn’t say how many, specifically. She said that it looks as if he might fail 2 or 3 classes. It might still be possible to salvage two of his presumably 4 classes, and take two incompletes, and finish them over the summer, what with the parental support he could receive at home.

But yes, it can definitely be a bear of a situation struggling to get an oppositional teen to finish up the incompletes! But it might be a better option than withdrawal.

This is very school dependent. Medical W’s are on the transcript at some schools.

Yes, I mentioned two schools in our experience that did not have W’s with medical withdrawal, and one school in our experience that didn’t have a medical withdrawal at all.

I would be interested in whether you know of a school where, if you are registered with the Office of Disabilities, you still get W’S with medical withdrawal. The “wiping the slate clean” can be sen as an accommodatiion at some schools. But not others.

Here on CC we usually encourage people to try for a medical withdrawal, even if retroactive, with the goal of preserving the transcript. But as I said, some schools don’t even offer a medical withdrawal at all. It is always worth investigating.

Sorry, I’m not familiar with any schools’ policies regarding students who are registered with the Office of Disabilities.

I am waiting to hear back from the school regarding possible options. A medical withdrawal appears possible but he must still be a full time student so he receives his scholarship merit aid. In one class, he has a B average but is failing due to excessive absences. Another class, he could probably pull a C but has excessive absences in that class. He is failing his other class but has an A in another class.

it sounds like he’s finding his way. It is pretty natural to test limits when a kid goes from high school to away at college. If he really seems to get it now - I’d have him go to the prof giving him the F, own the situation like a grown up and see what his options are while there’s still a little time to make it up - perhaps some extra credit, community service or something - maybe he can withdraw but, worst case - he can probably re-take the class next semester (most schools will allow you to re-take a D or F and replace it on your transcript.)

Hoping he takes away a life lesson and a little motivation.

I may be mistaken but my impression was that he is failing 3 out of 4 classes. Perhaps I misread.

In any case this is not a situation where, in my view anyway, the kid should return in the fall.
It seems he is in need of further evaluation and help. I don’t think motivation is the issue here.

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It appears that he will fail one class. My guess is that he will have an A and hopefully 2 C’s. It is not ideal but better than what we thought. Although, he has work to do.

The plan is for a medical evaluation and the Fall semester locally. He needs to prove himself. If all goes well, he may return in the Spring.

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Sounds like a good plan! (And glad he did better than you had thought.)

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My brother was in this situation many moons ago. He went to our large, state flagship and while he didn’t fail out, he didn’t meet my parents’ (reasonable) expectations. I was away at school at the same time, so I don’t know what the mix was of issues in terms of mental health/depression (which he has continued to face)/general maturity/homesickness/being overwhelmed academically/etc., really was. But he came home for a year and was enrolled in the local branch of the state flagship. He did fine, regained my parents’ confidence, and return to the main campus for his junior and senior years. He did change from an engineering major to a humanities major, but he was probably ill-suited for the engineering major regardless. He graduated on time and has led a responsible and productive adulthood.

I hope your son’s story is similar. Not everyone is ready to go away to college at 18. My brother wasn’t and I think a lot more kids than normal weren’t this year because of the trauma from the pandemic. But it doesn’t mean that they won’t be ready at some point, or won’t be able to carve a great path for themselves.

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He will most likely have to unenroll and reapply if he wants to go back in the spring.

Why? Lots of (most?) schools grant gap years/semesters and leaves for many, many reasons. I wouldn’t assume at all that he will need to reapply.

Let’s leave it to the OP and son to work with the school and figure out what can be done in terms of taking a leave (ex. is is possible etc.) No reason to debate it on this thread since we don’t have all the facts.

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There is no need to reapply. Scholarship stays in place which is valid for 8 semesters. Thanks for the replies and encouragement.

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