<p>I only had a week to get a roommate, so I just picked someone who didn't have a crazy sleep/party schedule. We talked a bit through text, but now that I have met her I really don't like her all that much. It's not that she isn't nice...she just doesn't understand that I don't really want to be "besties". She won't leave me alone and seems to be able to find me WHEREVER I go. I value personal space but whenever I am sitting by myself she goes out of her way to sit by me. I know she is just trying to be nice, but how do I tell her to leave me be without being a jerk?</p>
<p>Stop being so mean. It’s freshman year. She probably doesn’t know anyone and is just trying to make friends.</p>
<p>not to be rude or anything, but it sounds like you are the problem. You have to be tolerant. I’m sure once she meets new friends she will tone down, but understand that right now she may be a little excited.</p>
<p>Get off your high horse. She’s just trying to find friends in a new place she isn’t used to yet.</p>
<p>Yeah, she’ll probably relax once she makes more friends. That’s fairly normal. Just ride it out.</p>
<p>Whoa… chill out a bit. You guys are Freshman! Of course she’s going to be friendly she probably doesn’t know anyone else. You have to learn to be tolerant and patient with people especially when it comes to your roommate. You really don’t want to start off with a negative and faulty attitude from the start…especially with the person your living with you know? So, lighten up… I’m sure things won’t stay like that forever.</p>
<p>… Everyone has their own comfort level. I don’t think the OP is pretentious at all. So what if the OP enjoys her alone time? I’m sure everyone has had times when they didn’t want to be bombarded with company. Try to understand not only the roommate side but also the OP’s side.</p>
<p>I say follow the golden rule.</p>
<p>Wow…first post and so mean…</p>
<p>just try to understand her.</p>
<p>I think the OP genuinely wants advice on how to put a barrier between herself and her roommate without hurting her feelings. Come on, we’ve all had people develop major crushes on us and not know what to do about it. The only thing I’ve done personally is whenever I see that person, I go the other way. I know that’s only side stepping the problem. I really hate confronting them because I don’t know how to do it without causing hurt feelings.</p>
<p>Maybe tell her, “I want to be alone right now. Nothing personal.”</p>
<p>Enjoy having someone to go places with for the moment. Once she makes more friends, she’ll leave you alone more.</p>
<p>It’s probably because she’s nervous and new, so give it some time. If that doesn’t work and in a few days/weeks/months (depending on your patience level) she’s still clingy, it’s probably best to just talk to her. You don’t have to call her clingy or anything like that, just say that the dynamic isn’t totally working for you and that you would like a little more time alone. Hopefully she’ll understand and leave you alone more. Good luck! :)</p>
<p>Just be friends.
Freshman year is tough! Come on.
Don’t slam the opening door.</p>
<p>What others have said. After a few weeks when she knows more people this will all die down.</p>
<p>Everyone seems to be jumping down your throat…</p>
<p>But I can completely relate. I would go crazy if someone was in my space. </p>
<p>I do not think the OP is in the wrong. Who wants a clingy roommate?</p>
<p>I’ve had 'em. They’re the worst kind. </p>
<p>I’d just stop returning texts and calls, and hit them back up when you are willing to hang. </p>
<p>If they sit by you, ask nicely for some space. </p>
<p>There is NO reason to put up with behavior you do not want. It’s not rude to have your own preferences.</p>
<p>I had a friend like you one time who just started totally avoiding my calls/texts. I don’t think I was really overbearing, but she just didn’t want to hang out I suppose. Anyway, she would always just say “no” when I tried to get her to hang out with me, rather than saying, “well, I can’t do x but I can do y another day.” The thing here is to tell her that you don’t want to hang out all the time, but you can go to dinner or something else. Don’t just leave her out in the cold.</p>
<p>What people need to realize is that the OP has the right to like – or not like-- who she wants. Whether you think it’s “mean” or whatever, she still has the right to feel how she does without everyone jumping down her throat like a rabid dog. </p>
<p>OP, I can relate to you considering I have a somewhat similar experience to what you’re describing. I’m a rising sophomore and last year me and my roommates didn’t click. They’re not my type of people and we simply don’t click. As a result, I just distanced my self from them. We didn’t talk, hang out, or anything. Whenever I was in the dorm room, I would just head to my room and close the door while they hanged out in the common room in our dorm room. Through out the entire year my roommates in general made efforts to “get to know me better” or “hang out” but I wasn’t reciprocating. Now the average person may read this and be all “you’re an a-hole” and “you’re mean.” But it’s life. People need to realize that not everyone you meet in life, you’re going to click with. It’s highly impossible to like everyone you ever meet for the simple fact that there are personalities that don’t click. </p>
<p>So overall, don’t force yourself to like her. If you don’t; you don’t. Be true to yourself. I would rather someone avoid me than befriend me out of pity or befriend because he or she “feels bad” for not being my friend.</p>