“The medication aspect is very unsettling for me, especially without direct supervision. (And from all of your comments it seems I should be fearful)”
You should be no more or less fearful than you would be any other course of medication treatment. It’s a serious matter, but so is the disease, and you have to let the professionals treat it.
Oh dear, I missed the post quoted above. I would be much more fearful of this situation continuing without meds. That is what we are trying to tell you. Depression can be life-threatening.
Side effects, once the right med is found, should be minimal or none. I would not be fearful of meds.
proud mom- I am sorry that you and your son are going through this difficult time. You need to be strong and guide him. He will come out stronger and so will you. He needs help and you can get it to him. The loss of your husband and his father must be overwhelming. Please accept my internet hugs.
OP, I can understand how overwhelming this must feel for you. The only counsel I can give is to be careful not to bias your son against drugs. There can be stigma around mental health issues as it is, and you don’t want your son to feel you aren’t supportive of his treatment. It is clear you are worried about him and care deeply, and it’s also clear he trusts you, so if you are ambivalent about a course of treatment, you could make him ambivalent as well.
Sending good thoughts your way…
Meds have been a life vest for us. I saw a reference to 8 weeks above and will say that when my daughter started hers I started to see a difference in her desire to isolate herself within about 10 days-2 weeks. So it may take a while to get to full usefulness, but that it can help incrementally during that time.
Yes, don’t be afraid of meds. We expressed our apprehension (& knee-jerk resistance) to both the therapist and the psychiatrist. Their answers reassured us.
Piping up as a student who has battled depression and anxiety since my early teens.
I started show signs of severe depression in my early teens. My mom had lost her brother to drug and alcohol abuse from what she thinks was self-medication for depression and anxiety so when she started seeing it in me, I was immediately taken to the doctor.
I was put on an SSRI (can’t remember if it was zoloft or something else) and suddenly it was like there was color in my life again. I tried various different types of therapy but only the drugs worked for me. I then began a cycle of going on and off the meds and it culminated in being hospitalized in high school because I was less than 120 lb at 6’0". My anxiety had hit a point where I just wasn’t eating… at all.
That was my lowest point and I’ve been on meds pretty much ever since. I am in my mid-20s now and I’ve been on Zoloft for at least 4 years and Pamelor for a while too. I am also on a few other anti-anxiety meds but for treating things other than my anxiety and depression.
** There is not a doubt in my mind that meds saved my life. ** I was “lucky” in that many of my symptoms were hyper-visible and that I had parents, my mom especially, who had already gone through this and knew what would happen to me without treatment.
Do not be afraid of meds. You would use heart medicine if your child had a heart condition, right? This is no different. I’ve been on a lot of different anxiety and depression meds and none have caused symptoms that are worse than the condition. The current ones I’m on cause no side effects to me that I’m aware of.
I do think it is better to start treatment when you’re around people who can help you… like at home.
Romanigypsyeyes is one of the most wise, articulate and helpful posters on this forum, and is an example of the gifts people bring to others after going through this kind of thing when young. At some point, your son may show similar character. I always want to thank Romani for being here on CC, so appreciated : )
You’re too sweet @compmom
Also please excuse the typos in my post. I haven’t been good about going back and rereading to correct for typos.
I testified before the FDA on this topic ten years ago. Nothing has changed except that I now run my own business and I’m married. My testimony is on page 13-14.
http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/ac/06/transcripts/2006-4272t1-part2.pdf
OP, hugs to you. I’ve been where you are. And I engaged in wishful thinking and holding on to normalcy as @compmom mentioned. My D suffers from anxiety, depression and an eating disorder (compounded by an endocrine disorder). She’s been in and out of counseling and off and on meds.
Although struggling with her illness (yet sometimes resisting the help she needs), she didn’t want to leave school and her friends. Like your S, I think she viewed leaving as a failure. She even seemed to be on a upward trajectory for awhile. Unfortunately, it all came crashing down this semester and she’s taken a medical withdraw.
In hindsight, I feel like we’ve thrown a lot of band aids at the problem. Listen to
@MaineLonghorn when she says “we wish we had taken STRONGER action when these young adults started having trouble.” We are finally at the point with D where her sole focus is getting better. If your S is suffering from depression, dropping a class and quitting the team are band-aids. Get him the help he needs now.
@romanigypsyeyes is my inspiration that some day D will be able to successfully manage her illnesses and lead a full and happy life.
Everything has been quiet, and finally he will be home in about half an hour!
I never imagined when I created this thread that I would get the outpouring of support that I have received or come in contact with so many that have been through the same thing. It has helped me so much to know that I am not alone. Although I am too overwhelmed to respond directly to every post and message I read every word and it is so helpful.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! I will post back with an update in a few days.
Best of luck, @ProudMomx3 I do beg you not to speak poorly of meds. It can make us feel like we’re failures (for lack of a better word) especially because of the stigma already around mental health.
@ProudMomx3 I hope you enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving and your son is comforted by being home. While there are no doubt signs of depression/ anxiety, consider scheduling him for a thorough physical. Sometimes physical ailments trigger depression/ anxiety and you want to make sure you aren’t missing anything. Auto-immune illnesses can be triggered by anxiety. Good wishes sent your way.
As someone who developed lupus my first year of my PhD program, I can anecdotally back this up.
OTOH, one has to be predisposed to an autoimmune disease which is very rare. So while I do second the physical recommendation, I wouldn’t go in there thinking that something as serious as an autoimmune disease is going on.
@ProudMomx3 I send a big virtual hug your way. I wish nothing but the best for you and your son. Hoping the holiday is good for you both.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKeespQytpE
Very good talk about the stigma of mental illness by young man who started Active Minds organization at Bates College.
@romanigypsyeyes Thanks. I’ve never expressed any reservations about meds to S; actually I have been very nonchalant about it when he has mentioned it despite my concerns.
I suppose it is a good sign that he came in the door and within 30 minutes he was off to a friend’s house for the night?
Enjoy your thanksgiving with your son @ProudMomx3. I am sure it is a great comfort just to lay eyes on him and wrap your arms around him.
I do hope @ProudMomx3 that you’ll come back after the break with an update and for more support if you need it. As you’ve discovered, you’re definitely not alone. There’s a reason depression is sometimes the “common cold” of mental illness—lots and lots of people suffer from it, and that includes college students.