<p>
[quote]
My questions are just exploratory. I did think this school was somewhat mellow up front, and that appeared to be a positive. His particular dorm is somewhat extreme --it could be the luck of the draw... This one group of kids...and he happened to land there.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>To a large extent, it is the luck of the draw (although your luck can improve if you fill out the freshman housing questionaire honestly -- such as indicating a strong preference for substance free roommates, etc.)</p>
<p>I'm not trying to justify an uncomfortable freshman dorm situation. There are schools on the list I posted that are "too much of this or that" for my taste. But, even at the most extreme, I know straight-arrow students who adapted well, figured out to go to the library after dinner, or whatever.</p>
<p>Now, if you said that the kids in the dorm are shooting herioin or drinking 'til they vomit 5 nights a week, that's one thing. But, freshmen will be freshmen and learning how to deal (within reason) is part of growing up and adjusting to college.</p>
<p>I'm not saying that your son isn't in a totally untenable situation, but even if he were I highly doubt it is representative of the overall 4-year experience at his college or that he won't find a lot of like-minded friends. I have a sneaking suspicion that there is more going on here and that you are hearing an easy complaint. If I were getting this story from my college kid, I would be sympathetic, but I would be trying to see if there is more to the story and I would not be jumping up and down to support throwing in the towel after just two months.</p>
<p>Before I supported something as drastic as transfering after one semester, I would want to know that my kid had explored the resources available at the school to try and resolve the problem. Has he taken any steps to make his situation better or even discuss it with appropriate people on campus? Transfering at the end of one semester is pretty extreme. A very significant percentage of college freshmen don't even begin to get their sea legs until second semester.</p>
<p>BTW, I am dead set against parents calling ANYONE at the college in a situation like this. You can provide guidance, but let your son handle any discussions with the RA, the dean of student life, the counseling center, or whatever. College is about becoming an adult. Dealing with issues like this is part of being an adult. Short of extreme situations (like a health crisis or suicide risk), parents should stay out of it, IMO. Provide advice and support behind the scenes, but jumping in and calling the college isn't giving the student to room to grow.</p>