Gay acceptance at UVA?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Virginia
1

<p>Hey all!</p>

<p>I was wondering if the university community is accepting of gay students. I am a member of the class of 2016 and am a closeted gay person, so I will most likely not join any LGBTQ groups. I also know that there has been a thread about this once before, but I want a more modern answer. I am very nervous about being gay and all, and I just want to know if people are accepting or if I will be an outcast. Does the community make it conducive to coming out and being your true self? Are the people liberal enough to accept me or did I not make the right choice of picking UVA? </p>

<p>I am sorry, it's just that I am extremely nervous that I won't be accepted and won't have friends because of one of my traits that I was born with. </p>

<p>I also want the truth. No butter-coating. I don't need the butterfly rainbow everyone loves everybody answer, unless that's the truth.</p>

2

<p>Those threads you found (I’m assuming you saw this one from March and [this</a> one from last April](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-virginia/1139167-how-accepting-uva.html]this”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-virginia/1139167-how-accepting-uva.html)) are still valid.</p>

<p>Remember that this is a public school with 14,000 undergraduates. Students have a wide variety of interests. There are definitely LGBT students who are active in all sorts of organizations and don’t wind up being big into the LGBT groups. There are plenty of are involved in LGBT groups and other groups, too. </p>

<p>Colleges, in general, support the grown and development of students inside and outside of the classroom. You may be nervous about being gay now, but I hope that goes away. </p>

<p>BTW, I mentioned this name in the old threads, but I’ll mention it again. [Ed</a> Warwick](<a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/deanofstudents/programsandservices/lgbt.html]Ed”>http://www.virginia.edu/deanofstudents/programsandservices/lgbt.html) is a fantastic resource.</p>

3

<p>One of my friends from high school came out to us my first year and we were all accepting. I don’t think a single person treated him any differently. Honestly, I think people may like gay people more than straight people here haha. I know some of the most popular kids in our class are gay and everyone loves them.</p>

4

<p>You are more likely to be made fun/ridiculed/not included of for being a frat “bro” than being gay at UVA, truth.</p>

<p>In all seriousness, would you even want to hang out with a person who doesn’t accept you for who are? You’ll find acceptance, you’ll be fine, have a good four years.</p>

<p>[UVA</a> - It Gets Better - YouTube](<a href=“UVA - It Gets Better - YouTube”>UVA - It Gets Better - YouTube)</p>

5

<p>^^^^^^The opposite was true when I was an undergrad at UVa in the 70"s. </p>

<p>Times have changed, for the better. Have a GREAT four years…you’ll never forget them.</p>

6

<p>UVa has rapidly changed in the past 20 years when it comes to accepting and celebrating differences on all accounts. The LGBT community has received exceptional support and affirmation, in particular, with the establishment of the RC (LGBT Resource Center), growth of student groups, backing of non-LGBT specific student organizations and hiring of “out” professionals and faculty.</p>

<p>As a double 'Hoo and staunch ally I would highly encourage you to take advantage of the wonderful opportunity that is college to explore your identity in a safe environment. UVa does provide that, arguably better than most schools in the commonwealth. Challenge yourself to meet and socialize with out peers. The Queer Student Union (QSU) is an excellent place to start - visit their table at the activities fair opening weekend! I especially recommend this student org as they hold confidential meetings to provide a safe space for people at any point in the coming out process, those questioning, etc. to feel welcomed. Firsthand account, they’ve got some great people involved there. Also they are pretty connected to the social scene, so if/when you are ready for that, you’ll already know some people. </p>

<p>You might also consider confiding in your RA (Resident Advisor). If, for some reason, you don’t feel comfortable with the RA in your hall/suite, lookout for the other RAs in your building or the Senior Resident (SR) - there is often an out person within a staff but the RA crowd is highly accepting, affirming, and connected. </p>

<p>If, by the time you arrive on grounds, you are still not quite ready to out yourself or get involved with an LGBT group, look into Sustained Dialogue. In SD you’ll be put into of group of about a dozen students of varying years and engage in ongoing conversation about issues and topics related to social norms, justice and culture at UVa. This is a very safe environment to really be honest with peers about topics of interest, and you will find support, a connection or friend that will undoubtedly make a lasting impression. </p>

<p>So, the TL;DR. UVa is definitely an affirming environment. I will say that you will find it more difficult to find the direct support, friendships, relationships, etc., without trying to engage with the out community (it can be kind of insular - like ALL student groups/orgs/social circles at UVa), but even in the closet you will find people, straight or otherwise, to be progressive, supportive, friendly, etc.</p>

7

<p>hiatans: UVA is, in my view, a generally accepting place for students who are LGBTQ. Is it perfect? No, but I’ve yet to find a place that is. Dean J correctly notes the support that exists here. Ed Warwick, the former Coordinator for the LGBT Resource Center, is actually departing after several years to take a new position in UVA’s Commerce School, but a new RC Coordinator will be recruited very soon. The Resource Center is located on the 4th Floor of Newcomb Hall. QSU is another student organization option, but LGBTQ students also find happiness in many other quarters as well, including the Greek system, where several houses have openly gay members. If you need to talk about any of this, you should contact the University Dean of Students, Allen Groves (me), located on the second floor of Peabody Hall (upstairs from Admissions) or via <a href=“mailto:meetdeangroves@virginia.edu”>meetdeangroves@virginia.edu</a>. I am confident you can and will have a great experience at UVA.</p>

8

<p>You might not have made the most ideal college choice as a gay person just because UVA seems more like a straight laced preppy campus unlike more lgbt friendly ones but there are probably groups you can join</p>

9

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<p>This is only a small fact that might help and certainly not presented as a large statistical sample but our student tour guide this summer identified himself as gay.</p>

<p>The tour happened to be awful but I think it is still somewhat a good sign that he is an official U-Va tour guide.</p>

10

<p>

Oh no! I’m so sorry to see this. Was it because of something that happened specifically on your tour or because of the summer construction?</p>

<p>Summer’s a tricky time to visit and get a true sense of what UVa is like, but [this</a> summer has been especially busy when it comes to construction projects](<a href=“http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2012/08/summer-construction-on-college-campuses.html]this”>Notes from Peabody: The UVA Application Process: Summer Construction on College Campuses).</p>

11

<p>summerchica, I wholeheartedly disagree with you. The fashion choices of the students have no bearing on their personalities, not to mention that the student body is nowhere near homogenous. I myself have found UVa to be extremely accepting. In my experience, anybody who would be weird about it are outliers, and even then they were just weird or confused about it at first, not abusive. You should definitely go hang out at the LGBTQ resource center when you arrive; you can hear other people’s experiences and perspectives and it’s always cool to go there just to hang out. Another idea is to lookout for Safe Space stickers on the doors of your professor’s offices and classmate’s dorms. They are alllll over the place. The sticker means that person, allied or gay, is there to support anyone that needs help or even just to chat. Look out for the Safe Space training seminar if you’d like to make your room a Safe Space too!
There are lots of really fun LGBTQ activities throughout the year and since I’ve been here they have always been safe and never protested or anything like that. Lots of straight allies like to join in too. Like Wazhoom said, QSU is a great organization for you to go to if you feel like it because they understand that coming out can be daunting to some and you might not feel it’s the right time for you, so you can ask them not to mention your orientation or even that you attend QSU when/if you see them outside of meetings. Allies go to QSU meetings too cause it’s a good time so if you want to remain closeted to the LGBTQ community at UVA as well, attending the meeting carries no implications. However I am confident that you will quickly realize that UVa is a comfortable environment for LGBTQ students and much of your apprehension will melt away. Welcome to UVA, hope to see you around! :)</p>

12

<p>I’m really excited to see Allan Groves here! </p>

<p>BTW, [this</a> is a great video of Dean Groves from Orientation](<a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube). It’s a little long, but there’s a lot of fantastic information shared.</p>

13

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<p>Dear Dean J,</p>

<p>This of course brings us way off topic. So I’ll cover it as briefly as I can here. We can PM each other if you wish or continue onto a new thread.</p>

<p>Some of our experiences were already mentioned by others a few weeks ago in the thread: “Colleges you/child crossed off the list after visiting.”</p>

<p>As was discussed then, having the tour start within a Christian church was off-putting to start. (And the denial later by university officials actually made it worse.)</p>

<p>But in addition: We didn’t really see anything and we didn’t very much go anywhere. The construction was partly blamed by the tour guide. But construction should not prevent visiting the inside of a dorm, or the inside of a dining area, for example. On the contrary, on a hot Virginia day I think all present would have welcomed being indoors. Nor did we really visit any of the U-Va “landmarks:” the lawn or the rotunda. (We did go inside twice – to the “naked” room and to a classroom.)</p>

<p>But sight-seeing aside, the biggest disappointment was the very odd nature of the subject matter covered during the tour. The tour guide spent a very large amount of time discussing the “secret societies.” This topic may or may not be required by tour guides to cover. I do not know. The guide expressed his strong desire to belong to one of these societies and described in some detail how he thought he was “tapped” one day into one but was very disappointed when he realized he had not been.</p>

<p>In addition, the guide recounted how, when he applied, he had never heard of the University of Virginia and thought, instead, that he was applying to another school.</p>

<p>It was only my third college tour. And I’m no expert. But it was a very, very odd experience.</p>

14

<p>You gave me some great feedback and I’ll definitely share it with the group. Each guide here gets a 3 inch binder of information to learn. They have an outline to follow for each kind of tour (they give tours to tourists, prospective students, and school groups) and we encourage them to use with personal anecdotes so tours don’t become scripted. It sounds like your guide is fascinated by Secret Societies (or was responding to a visitor who asked him to talk about them more…people seem to like how open we are about them). I’m sorry you were disappointed. If the guide was unable to answer your questions about other topics, please let me know so I can address that with him.</p>

<p>As I think I’ve shared before in the discussion of the University Chapel, we traditionally give our sessions in the Newcomb Hall theater. Newcomb is under renovation right now and our access to spaces large enough for our information sessions is limited (we cannot displace classes). The folks in Maury Hall are often able to give us their lecture hall during this difficult time, but there are weeks when they need their space. Our options are to cancel the sessions, hold them in spaces that are not on Central Grounds, or use the chapel. Though not ideal for many reasons (some that have been mentioned on CC, some that haven’t been), the chapel is the most convenient location for the visitors. </p>

<p>We’d love to show off more buildings on our tours, but the tours already last 75 minutes. What’s more, bringing visitors through the residence halls or dining halls 2-4 times a day, every day would have a significant, negative impact on the students. A quiet day here is when we have 200 visitors. A busy day brings about 800 visitors. We are working on virtual tours of parts of Grounds that can’t be covered on the tour. </p>

<p>If you didn’t walk up Lawn on your tour, you definitely visited at a very specific time this summer when a big trench was dug for work on the utilities and steam tunnels. The Lawn is the core of this place and we’re all drawn to it. Thankfully, the work is almost completed and the tours are going back to moving up the Lawn instead of just stopping at the bottom.</p>

<p>The construction projects on Grounds are a considerable challenge for us this summer and we have done our best to accommodate visitors. </p>

<p>By the way, the residence halls are open for tours during Days on the Lawn in the Spring. The rest of the year, we offer a slide show back in Peabody Hall that shows the different kinds of rooms in which first-years live along with floor plans. [There</a> are even more pictures on the Housing website](<a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/housing/fy.php]There”>http://www.virginia.edu/housing/fy.php). Housing has pictures of real student rooms and I think it’s great to show prospective students how current students set things up. In fact, I might blog about that today since move-in is around the corner and many are apt to be thinking about how to organize their space. :)</p>

15

<p>Dear Dean J,</p>

<p>Thanks very, very much for your response. It is much appreciated.
And let me also add - it’s great to have you here.</p>

16

<p>Why would you make fun of a frat bro?? Just to let you know, the Greek system runs UVA</p>

17

<p>Just from my prep experience at my school, certain (future) frat bros are awesome people, a few are extremely narcissistic idiots. I assume that that standard could be extended to UVa.</p>

18

<p>

You may want to wait until you have at least stepped on grounds as an actual UVa student before you make such sweeping claims. Once you are there, I would caution you from making such bold claims. It might be your opinion, however Greek participation is around 30%. When you are involved it may seem like the university revolves around it. Based on percentages alone it would be more logical to say independents ‘run’ UVa, however it’s not a competition. If you are not involved in Greek life you find plenty to be involved in and your life revolves around those things. Greek life hardly runs UVa for those who choose other organizations to be involved with.</p>

19

<p>

Seconded!</p>

<p>Interestingly, I have never heard a student name a Greek org first when asked about their involvement at UVa. Fraternities and sororities are great parts of our community, but we are not as “Greek-centric” as some have assumed. :)</p>

20

<p>I also want to point out that being involved in Greek life doesn’t mean you can’t be involved with other organizations. I would think with all the University has to offer, you’d be foolish to limit yourself to Greek life. Most students who are leaders in the Greek community are also involved with multiple other organizations.</p>