Gay in College

<p>So here's my sob story:</p>

<p>At the beginning of first semester, I made a ton of friends. I partied with them on weekends, went to eat with them during the weeks and was just having an awesome time. But, I still wasn't happy. I've known I was gay for the past 5 years, and being in college made me finally confront that fact. So after coming out at the end of first semester at school and on break at home, I find that a lot of my friends at school have distanced themselves from me. For the first time, I feel like I have no true friends here and after feeling so much acceptance from my friends at home, I feel incredibly homesick for the first time ever. To top it off, one of the people I was planning on rooming with next year decided he wasn't comfortable with a gay roommate. I'm honestly just looking for advice on how to become comfortable with myself and how to make friends in college while being openly gay. Thanks for any advice :)</p>

<p>Lev. 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”</p>

<p>Please ignore Snapplefacts, what a ridiculous and unhelpful quotation.</p>

<p>Like so many college books say, it takes a while for college friends to become as close as high school friends - most of whom you had grown up with. Give them time, and either they will come around, or you will make new friends who accept you for who you are.</p>

<p>Exactly why I don’t like people, can’t stand people, and distance myself from people. People are fake and ignorant. </p>

<p>All that matters is that friends and family back home accept you. Remember, when you graduate, you’re not going home to their houses, your going back home where you’re loved and accepted. Screw em. </p>

<p>Stories like this only confirm why I should continue to dislike people and distance myself from them.</p>

<p>Anyways, Good luck my friend. You’re good.</p>

<p>^^well I guess you have your answer.</p>

<p>But really, as long as you’re not at BYU, I don’t think you should have much to worry about. And I know that GWU has a very decently-sized gay population.</p>

<p>As far as not being comfortable with a gay roommate, I understand that it sucks, but it’s understandable to some extent (though obviously rather close-minded). </p>

<p>Part of your friends distancing themselves from you may be 1) in your head, 2) some guys, however accepting they consider themselves, are simply less comfortable around gay guys, and 3) they may just feel like you’re not the same person, which may be the case if your coming out was more than just a sexual orientation, but some personality repression that’s come out. Just some thoughts.</p>

<p>Either way, it’s pretty immature for them to be reacting that way, and you presumably deserve better. Your school probably has a Pride Alliance, which may be a good, comfortable place for you to open up and feel like you aren’t alone.</p>

<p>Lastly, maybe try befriending more girls. 99% of girls want a gay friend. (assuming you are a gay male, which I’m inferring)</p>

<p>^^^They’re not friends. Friends are the people back at his hometown who accepted him for who he is, not run the other way. </p>

<p>Dude, college social life is overrated anyway. When you graduate you won’t be talking to an eighth of the people you met anyways. Don’t fret.</p>

<p>Yes, I am a gay male.</p>

<p>And although GW seems to have a sizable gay population, their LGBT center seems pretty inactive. The website for Allied in Pride is no longer running, and the LGBT center’s website is rarely updated and it doesn’t seem like it does much in terms of events. So I’m not sure how exactly to go about meeting people like me. And it’s strange, even though I’m gay, i’ve still always gotten along best with straight males. I love sports, just sitting around and having a few beers with bros, etc. It just sucks that once I tell people I’m gay, they expect me to start acting completely different, when that’s not the case. And it’s kinda hard meeting new friends now that my confidence has been shattered by this whole process and everybody seems to have their cliques set already.</p>

<p>Just find other friends, they weren’t your real friends anyways. One thing you might want to do is disclose your sexuality soon after you meet people, to avoid the situation again. Consider joining LGBT organizations, you can meet people who are gay and obviously wouldn’t care (and then you can date them!) and straight allies also frequent those groups in case you didn’t want to be friends with exclusively gay people. Also consider taking an LGBT Studies class! No one in there would care either! :)</p>

<p>I’m really sorry that happened though, that’s awful. I’ll admit I was worried about disclosing my sexuality to my college friends but everyone has been super awesome about it and totally cool. It’s probably a bit different since I’m a girl, though. I will admit there are people I haven’t told, a lot of girls in my sorority, but since Greek life is so heteronormative it’s a little tougher. Situations like yours make me very sad and I hope that you find better friends next semester.</p>

<p>Also, sadcollegestud, college social life is not overrated for many, many people. I love the people I have met in college much more than my friends in high school and most people I know feel very similarly. Everyone I meet is simply amazing.</p>

<p>^^^Where not all the same Rox. Personally, I feel college social life is overrated. I love the friends I met in High School WAYYYYYYYYY more than the people I met in college. </p>

<p>But then again, after I befriended the friends I have made in High School, I became more of a misanthrope, so that could explain my feelings as well. </p>

<p>But as the saying goes, to each his own.</p>

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<p>Wow, if you were half as good at understanding your Bible as you are at spouting bigotry, maybe you’d be smart enough to read the original Hebrew. The word “Abomination?” Didn’t exist yet. The word you’re looking for is Toevah, it means “Ritualistically Unclean” you know that same word they use elsewhere in Leviticus about women directly following their period? I’ve mentioned this before on these forums, numerous times. There are also scholars now who have found evidence this phrase likely referred to a type of Rape and that it only applied to high priests anyway since they were too “pure” for intercourse of ANY kind. High context society does NOT translate into our low context society of today.</p>

<p>This leaves us with a few choices, either 1) Women who have their period are sinful and going to Hell since they’re Toevah just like Gays; 2) You’re wrong, you read a bad translation/didn’t read it at all/trusted your preacher to interpret it for you/have no mind of your own/etc</p>

<p>Tl;dr: you dunno *** you’re talking about and politely, need to shut the heck up. </p>

<p>Respectfully.</p>

<p>Well, I don’t see why Christians have authority over any other religion. I think there are plenty of religions that embrace homosexuality. As far as making friends goes, they don’t exist. The evolutionary urge to make “friends” is entirely selfish and based upon our desire to survive and spread our seed.</p>

<p>^No, it’s for protection. Humans are social creatures and could more effectively fight off predators in groups.</p>

<p>exactly. …</p>

<p>I would keep my head up high and keep on trying to make friends. You’re bound to meet some people who aren’t close-minded. Have you considered getting the LGBT club going again?</p>

<p>As for meeting people like you, well, GWU isn’t far from Dupont Circle which has a high number of gay residents. On the whole DC is a pretty gay-friendly city. I don’t think you’ll have to, but if you expand your net beyond GWU then there’s a good chance you’ll meet people like yourself. And certainly you will meet people who don’t give a damn about someone’s sexual orientation.</p>

<p>I agree that if the GLBT resources/clubs on campus are lacking, it might be a great outlet for you to help out with getting things running again. Getting more involved in the queer community is one of the most important things I did in the few years after coming out. Even if the people you meet through that don’t become your closest friends, helping to make the campus more welcoming would definitely introduce you to people you might not otherwise meet.</p>

<p>

To clear up a huge misnomer, there are plenty of Christian denominations that are accepting of homosexuality. And there are also plenty of denominations where there’s at least a huge faction that accepts it (and so completely open churches).</p>

<p>OP, I wish you the best of luck. My advice would be to make sure you go into the spring semester with a positive outlook.</p>

<p>Sadcollegestudent is such a pessimist (based on his posts here and the countless whining threads he’s started) that he has essentially zero chance of finding people next semester. He’ll chase them away before they even have a chance to get close.</p>

<p>LOL. Ouch. Sadness. <em>tear tear</em>. </p>

<p>If you “read” my posts young lady, you would know that I gave up on making friends. Can’t stand people and never will. I really do hope the 2012 prophecy is true; maybe then the world will be better off with less people.</p>

<p>

Exactly my point. I can’t tell if that’s just incredibly pathetic, or incredibly sad. My indecision is why I haven’t responded to any of your threads.</p>

<p>Also, if you read my posts sweetie, you’d know that I have 2 acquaintanceships that are on the road to friendships. So I’m not as “lonely” as you think. </p>

<p>And btw, I couldn’t care less what you consider “pathetic or sad”. I think it’s pathetic how much time you spend on these forums, but you don’t see my voicing it.</p>

<p>“I have 2 acquaintanceships that are on the road to friendships. So I’m not as “lonely” as you think.”</p>

<p>Wow - that’s quite an enriching social life!</p>