<p>I rather have 2 real friends than 100 fake friends such as yourself. </p>
<p>Plus you don’t know who can introduce me to other people. </p>
<p>P.S. I love how you all have that short of an attention span that you can’t even respond to the O.P. </p>
<p>Wow - so smart!</p>
<p>is Roxsox the sweetie?</p>
<p>sadcollegestud rules. he’s the guy from the forums that i’d like to have a beer with</p>
<p>Let us ignore the advice of the social butterfly that is sadcollegestud regarding topics on making friends.</p>
<p>As previously suggested, find new friends. Many of my good friends are gay and I don’t feel like there’s a difference in dynamics when comparing their friendships to those I have with my straight friends.</p>
<p>I can’t tell from your post, but maybe your timing had something to do with it. My friends and I grew further apart over the break, even without me coming out. There’s a chance that when you get back, things will be better. It’s pretty cold of your friends not to make an extra effort to reach out to you given that you just came out to them (unlike mine to me), but maybe they’re just being awkward and not heartless. The suggestions to find the group meetings of the LGBTQ community are good. Best of luck, OP!</p>
<p>I suggest you find new friends. There are people out there who would be good friends that don’t care what sexuality you are, and honestly the ones that do already care aren’t going to easily change their mind. Unfortunately, people are ridiculous and stupid bigots like that. But you can still have really good friends–one of my best friends I met at college I found out was gay after a couple weeks, but did I care? No. Neither did the rest of our group of friends. So while there may be some people that are stupid and homophobic when you try to befriend them, don’t care about that. Find the ones that aren’t opposed to your sexuality and you can form great friendships with them.
Good luck!</p>
<p>You should’ve somehow let them know that you bat for the other team before becoming friends with them. Not everyone is ok with gays.</p>
<p>not all gays are good. I’ve had 3 gays ask me for casual …</p>
<p>^Move to Venus, then. Problem solved.</p>
<p>Why should gay people have to disclose their orientation immediately upon or soon after meeting someone? Sexuality to some people is a private matter and something they do not owe to anyone to share just because others may not approve. Straight people do not own that information.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>If he doesn’t want to do this then he shouldn’t be upset when he springs it on people and they don’t want to be around him anymore. Not everyone is ok with it and some people are offended by it.</p>
<p>Yakyu Spirits, I bet you are also the kind of person that complains about how gays “throw their sexuality in people’s faces.” </p>
<p>Some people are offended by it, good for them. They can learn to deal with their sensitivity to other people being different from them, that shouldn’t be anybody else’s burden.</p>
<p>Offensive? Really? I completely don’t understand how one person can be personally offended by what another person does in private, considering it doesn’t affect them in any way whatsoever.</p>
<p>Whether Yayku is one of “those people” or not it’s a fact of life that people get offended over really really stupid ****. I’m not agreeing with him that you should be forced to tell everyone your sexuality upon meeting them, but don’t be surprised by how ignorant people can be. </p>
<p>To the OP I’m sorry that you feel this way. My school has a very active LGBT center (with free printing for anyone!) and many openly gay students. I’m going to echo what one poster said and it may be because of break that they seem distanced; it’s weird leaving for a while and then coming back and takes a little bit of time to get reacquainted.</p>
<p>and not all straight men are good. I’ve had random men ask/say vulgar things to me and I’m sure straight/gay women can be just as promiscuous. I never really understood why gay men are assumed to be so sexual when we’re probably all the same.
But anyway, if your friends can’t accept you now who knows if they will in the future. There are a lot of people out there so I don’t think you should spend your time trying to make a few people like you when there are others out there who would respect you from the beginning. But that’s just my opinion…</p>
<p>What I don’t understand is why everyone is saying to the OP “they weren’t real friends.” There is no blame to go around in this situation, no scapegoats. It is possible to be uncomfortable around gay people, and not be a homophobe. Iwhat I mean is, branding people as homopobes becasuse they won’t be your bff is not a solution to the OP’s dilemma</p>
<p>If their feelings changed for their friend because they found out he was gay, then no, they weren’t real friends. Friends are supposed to have a bond strong enough to hold through things much less trivial than one friend coming out. </p>
<p>And I don’t see how it’s possible to categorically be uncomfortable around gay people and NOT be a homophobe. That’s practically the definition of the word. But what good reasons are there to be uncomfortable around all gay men, leolibby? It better be something more substantial than “unwanted advances,” because not only do most gay guys avoid that (if not out of simple restraint, then for fear of being beaten bloody and then having it validated in court as a result of “gay panic”), but it’s more common among straight people. I’ve known a few straight girls that wouldn’t take a hint, and you probably shouldn’t get straight girls started about straight guys.</p>
<p>a guy can legitimately not want to be friends with a gay guy if he feels the gay guy cannot contribute to a conversation about romantic relationships with girls.</p>
<p>Plus, if you have a friend, and that friend out of the blue says he’s gay,you might interpret that as a come-on. It doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t a come on, it can be interpreted that way.</p>
<p>I’m confused – so gays should disclose their orientation immediately upon meeting someone new but at the same time they shouldn’t do so because the other person might interpret it as a come-on…? so gays should just shut up and make sure everyone else is comfortable with their existence, in other words.</p>
<p>First of all, the OP hung out with these kids for a while. When they found out he was gay, they started acting cold. I doubt that all of a sudden they worried “he’s not gonna talk about girls with us!” If attraction to girls was that important to the friendship, I think him being gay would have come up sooner. </p>
<p>Second, not being friends with someone is different from feeling uncomfortable around them, so you haven’t qualified your original statement. </p>
<p>And you must not know any gay people - people don’t come out by saying “I’m gay” out of the blue. So don’t worry, you probably won’t ever need to decide for yourself whether a gay man is coming on to you or not. And obviously, someone coming on to you is the worst thing in the world that could ever happen to you.</p>