But the “by request” would be placing them in the general one gender dorm? I presumed that meant in smaller units with others of their gender who were either also transgender or allies.
I would be surprised if they wanted to place someone in a general female gender dorm where no one is consenting, as that could also create a lot of issues for bullying the transgender kid.
It wasn’t exeter, it was andover - I mis-typed.
Here’s the link to the article : http://phillipian.net/2017/02/24/andover-implements-gender-housing-options-upcoming-school-year/ Everyone can read it for themselves.
yes - the article states the people who identify as something else can be placed with the gender they identify as - it doesn’t say that the people in the dorm they are placed into are advised or given the option to opt out.
True, showers aren’t mentioned. I’m sure they would have mentioned it if separate shower accommodations were being provided.
I think that the people who run Andover are smart enough not to have completely open showers in the dorm. It wouldn’t take that much modification to at least turn them into single stall showers - if it’s not already.
Also it’s worth mentioning that I don’t think the type of male who has toxic masculinity issues would be seeking out being surrounded with people exploring whether they identify with their gender or not.
@HRS - I agree! That has been my point all along! Its a recipe for disaster - but that’s what the article appears to indicate is happening.
The smaller units with others who identify or opt in to support, which is what seems to make sense, are the separate residences which they are implementing for next year.
@philbegas I agree - hostile individuals won’t opt in to an all gender housing situation, which is what makes it such a great idea!
As an aside, I had no idea that “genderqueer” is a socially acceptable term, but I still don’t know what it means. Is there a dictionary somewhere describing all the PC acronyms and terms used to describe the breadth of people who might be encompassed by this?
All multi-person dorm bathrooms have private shower stalls. These were retrofitted long ago.
My experience with Andover over the past year is in accordance with what has been expressed above: that they are very intentional, and transparent, in most things they do. Making sure that all students feel included seems to be a top priority. For example, with regard to housing selections for new students:
For returning students the kids have many, many options, with 42 dorms, less the ones designated for new 9th graders, within 5 clusters. These range from very small houses to large dorms. The student news article notwithstanding, I’m still not sure that transgender students have had, or will have, the option to be placed into dorms with the gender with which they identify without the prior knowledge of the cisgender students (in addition to having the option to apply for the new all-gender dorm(s)). But I do know that the application for the all-gender dorm indicates that the parents of all applicants for this new option will be contacted about the application.
It did cross my mind more than a few times to call the residential life office to get the specifics, but decided against it because it doesn’t bother me if DC is in a dorm with transgender students. So all I would have left to say is “Hi, I’m totally in support of your housing options for students of all genders but I’m on this online forum where there’s confusion about whether you’re placing transgender kids into dorms with unknowing cisgender kids. Could you clear that up for me so I can go back and post the info?” Hmmm…nope. I need to save my crazy parent calls for when there’s an issue affecting my kid that I am really worried about. As @ChoatieMom suggests above, anyone for whom this may be an issue should just call the school and ask.
And we wouldn’t mind if you came back and let us know what you find out 
@Korab1 I appreciate you asking about the glossary of terms. This is somewhat new ground for me and I’ve been doing some looking around to try to get the words right. Here’s a start:
From:
So this has been going on at Andover for most of the school year now. We are in the last semester. Any Andover parent want to weigh in on if this has been a disaster? I am sure if the kids were really bothered by it, the parents would have heard something.
yes - i’m sure the kids who are uncomfortable would have no problem speaking up and immediately being attacked and labeled as sexist, homophobic, intolerant and whatever other “ics” and “ists” could possibly apply. Which is exactly why the kids shouldn’t be put in this position in the first place.
This thread is a perfect example of why they will say nothing.
“Transphobic” can be added to the list 
There is no logical reason to be uncomfortable around people who don’t identify with their biological sex. I think if one were to speak up but do it in such a way where they tried to learn something they would not be mistreated. If one is uninterested in changing their tropophobic ways I have no sympathy for them.
@AppleNotFar You rationale for calling sounds perfectly reasonable!! Lol!
We aren’t talking in general about people being uncomfortable around a trans person. We are talking about teenagers being uncomfortable sharing a bathroom, showers and close living quarters with a child of the opposite sex who identifies differently.
Your tolerance for opposing viewpoints is readily apparent.
If the person is uncomfortable simply sharing living quarters despite the fact that they’re single rooms then that seems like a personal problem to me. The people they’re sharing living quarters with are often uncomfortable in their own skin. Which one do you think I care more about? :-?
Also, you’re talking about this as if people are being forced into it. We have established in this thread time and time again that people CHOSE to live in this situation. Red Herring much?
We aren’t talking about just living quarters, nor adults. We are talking about children.
Actually with regard to the option for trans students at Andover to choose to live with the gender they identify with instead of their biological gender, which is what we have been referring to all along, the opposite has been established over and over again - It’s clear as day in the article, though I cant make you understand what it says, apparently. Which one you care more about is of no concern to me or mine.
The tolerance of the progressives among us know no bounds.
My experience with these issues is that the kids are fine with these policies that adults fret about. For the kids, it’s their classmate, their teammate, their FRIEND, who is trans. They know this person! As a person. For parents, it’s more abstract. And alien. All hypothetical.
The schools who have gotten out in front of this are also committed to making it work for the community. I think our kids are really lucky to be able to learn how a truly diverse community can function and be inclusive and hope they take this knowledge with them when they leave BS.
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“This thread is a perfect example of why they will say nothing.”
I asked for Andover parents to weigh in on what their children are saying. You think the child will not feel comfortable telling their own parent that they feel uncomfortable with a trans student living in the same dorm?
When my daughter was asked to specify her college housing preferences, she was given the option of saying whether she would be comfortable on a floor that might include transgender students. Perhaps Andover will implement something similar.
Have you seriously not read the article and previous posts? You just enjoy arguing about what you think people have said and what you assume the article says? Please read post 24 at a minimum.
No I can see the confusion now. I deleted my last post because it was wrong.
@HMom16 that’s a great idea! All the schools should do something similar.