This becomes an even more interesting discussion if you substitute gender with race.
Which we’re not going to do. Nor will we have further discussion on what gender identity is, when/how it develops, etc. While all fascinating, it is beyond the scope of this thread. One can certainly start a new thread in a cafe to discuss those topics.
I hope we aren’t going to do ever. The point was showing absurdity of excluding any type of minorities because some people are not comfortable to be near them.
I’ve now skimmed this entire (very interesting) thread and wanted to point out something that I think some people have missed here. For all those wringing their hands about kids potentially being forced to share a dorm with someone who identifies as a different gender, you do realize don’t you that’s already happening now? It’s not all that uncommon now for a student to transition to a different gender during their time at a boarding school. So let’s just say you’ve got a kid who is biologically male, living in a boys dorm, but has the intention to transition to living as female. At some point, likely when a new academic year starts, that kid is going to stop living in a boys dorm and instead live in a girls dorm. There may have been boys in the boys dorm who were uncomfortable having a dorm-mate with an expressed intention to transition to a different gender. And there may be girls who are uncomfortable living with a dorm-mate who last year looked like a boy and lived in a boys dorm. But you know what? All those kids are just going to have to deal with it, because the kid who’s in the process of transition has to live somewhere! Seems to me that the idea of having mixed gender or non-gender-identifying housing at least helps with the process of educating our teenagers about these issues.
Now, I’m not a teenager (obviously) but I feel in this day and age parents can get “old school” more quickly than ever before. Young people may have more drastically different views on gender, sex and living arrangements etc than their parents want to believe, rendering parents’ “concerns” irrelevant. More than once, I’ve heard young people who visit friends of same or opposite sex are offered to sleep on friends’ (or a friend’s friends) couch overnight, no fuss at all regardless gender of the visitors. Sleeping and sex don’t have to be related. Using a bathroom and sex are not related. Feel free to take the time “to think, to digest, and to adjust”, but at some point, you may realize the “culture wars” are probably between old and new, the “old school” and the enlightened. We have done/witnessed this a few times already in our life time.
Thanks to @GryffinHunter for posting the good news. FYI Putney is a supportive community for their trans and gender queer students too. Young adults know where it’s at… it’s the older adults who have less flexibility and maintain hostile hegemonic environments. If you are an adult who is anxious about queer/trans people I suggest you do the work to speak to queer/trans people, and especially listen to LGBTQIA people. It’s never too late to learn.
Hoenestly, I’m tired of his liberal agenda. Seriously? Like why is it okay for someone to say LGBT yay! But if someone said something against it, they will be poured with hate. I honestly despise the fact that boarding schools are heavily favoring the left. As many have said on the forum, politics should stay out of it. And for those who say that they are just protecting these trans kids or whatever, then why is there no protection for conservatives who are constantly being harassed by liberals. Add to the fact that most teachers at Prep schools openly state that they are liberals, nothing is done.
Inmates running the asylum at PEA. @panpacific you are judging people by defining their political views and /or moral feelings and interpretations as “old” verses “new” . Personally I am equal opportunity, equal punishment, equal standards…but don’t tread on anyone’s toes. Liberals demand that non liberals accept and embrace their agenda. To disagree is to be immediately branded as “old”, racist, homophobic and so forth. There are boys and there are girls. There will always be people that fall outside the majorities-color, gender, religion etc. The whole system should not be re-tooled for the (very very small numbers) minority. The are new rules being considered school wide clearly in anticipation of the new housing and the inherent potential for problems. If you thought going to BS was about a great education, growing socially and emotionally you may want to rethink where you (if you are a student) or your children do that.
I see boarding school being all about promoting acceptance and understanding of all their students regardless of their backgrounds. How is that being political? If that idea of being willing to accept all humans regardless of race, religion, gender, socioeconomic status, etc is too liberal for you then nothing that will be said here will make a difference.
@center I don’t have to “think” or “rethink”. Been there done that. Both of my kids graduated from BS. No bitter feeling whatsoever. Too bad you don’t feel the same way about your kids’ school and the education he’s receiving there. I’ll save the “if you are a student” part because I know you are not, fortunately.
Chill everyone, imagine yourself in a transfer students perspective of this.
@Bunny8280, you’re too young to be “tired of” anything. As you start BS, I think that it would be good for you to take your time and keep an open mind instead of holding onto preconceived notions, no matter which direction they go. I mean this sincerely, and with very good intentions. One of BS’s purposes is to expose you to new experiences and diverging points of view and help you develop your critical thinking skills. Your political views may or may not change, but your appreciation for an inclusive democratic process probably will, and that’s good. As to your frustration, by definition knowledge is progressive, and over the course of human history, institutions of knowledge have always been at the forefront of social change. I hope this helps put your concerns in perspective. I also hope that you will enjoy your time at PEA (that’s where you’re going, right?) and grow in multiple ways while there. Best wishes!
docs. google. com
/document/d/1tMKo6DK84ji2e9Wj1mqdnjsVtf4t1-H7jGqaIJ5iupE/edit?usp=sharing
This has some copies of NON-FINAL DRAFTS about the gender inclusive dorms, like rules, but they were the drafts passed around to students and teachers in January.
(Remove the spaces between docs. google. com)
@Bunny8280 Let me just say this:
Have you ever felt like your life was in danger because of being conservative? Or did having your beliefs challenged just mildly annoy you?
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/08/160831110833.htm
Exeter is going to have two houses with a combined occupancy of 18-19. Mostly single rooms.
-These are some of the DRAFT guidelines that were passed out in January.-
The dorm is an open dorm community. Doors to rooms are expected to be open when anyone other than the occupant is in the room.
Students are expected to refrain from nudity when alone in their rooms or when behind a stall or curtained partition in the bathrooms.
Students are expected to wear robes or tops (shirts or tank tops) and bottom (skirts, pants or shorts) to and from the bathroom and to disrobe in the stalls in the bathrooms.
In the case of assigning rooms and potential roommates, the room pick process will take into account living style preferences above all else.
The dorm team will not permit students of any sexual orientation to engage in a romantic or exclusionary relationship with fellow students in the dorm.
The dorm team is expected to create spaces for all community members to engage in learning and shared governance, which could include dorm-driven curriculum and ongoing discussion of community needs and inclusive dorm events and activities.
My only ‘liberal agenda’ is to make everyone—especially minorities—comfortable and safe.
I am genuinely sorry if conservatives feel attacked. I admit that comments of mine have ostracized my conservative peers (you did not want to be near me the week of the election), and I’m working on listening better to those with whom I fundamentally disagree.
And @Bunny8280, it’s ok for someone to support the LGBT community because it’s support! It’s not ok for someone to say something against the LGBT community because that tears people down. I will never understand why anyone is bothered by men marrying men and women marrying women and people wanting to use they/them pronouns. Let people do their thing! It’s love! You love whom you want to love and let everyone else love whom they love.
This. Now, being ‘conservative’ may be the minority in these places, but it doesn’t mean you are silenced but rather you’d hear more voice of opposition when you speak. Isn’t that expected? How else do you know others’ opinions?
Now I too am gonna stick my head in the lion’s mouth, and a few posts later wish I were still at my conference to keep me quiet.
It’s very hard to think objectively and rationally about things to which we have preferential responses, or involuntary biases that are literally built into our identity. If you’re not familiar with the implicit bias test, you can take it here: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html. It’s a validated scientific tool, not your aunt’s Facebook test. I have yet to meet an adult who has taken the implicit bias test and is completely unbiased to race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, size, or any other human characteristics.
The problem is, what do you do about such involuntary biases that shape your responses? Well, the first step is to become aware that you have them, hence the test. Once you’re aware, you can start looking out for them, e.g., examine if a certain reaction is driven by biases, and make an effort to control them. It’s not easy because it’s not “natural,” but I believe it’s the right thing to do, whatever the biases.
It really helps to think about such issues in concrete, personal rather than in abstract, aggregate terms. For example, I’ve been raised in a very patriarchal, socially conservative environment. I may not fully understand or embrace all LGBT values, but I would do anything for our babysitter, my coworker, or my stepson, who all happen to be gay or lesbian. So let’s make sure that all kids at BS feel safe and valued, whatever their sex or gender, learning disabilities, or chronic conditions. For all you know, it may be your child.
Because we are not free from the influence we receive. LGBT bothered me 20 years ago due to church influence that now I am mostly free from.
My wife calls it Karma, and says that’s why she doesn’t want me to watch violent and/or stupid movies, because I will be influenced.
Personally I don’t support all LGBT issues. However, I realize that they have the same rights I have. At the end of the day, their decisions are personal to them and does not affect me. I don’t like to see same sex display of affection so I busy myself with something else. Their rights are guaranteed just like mine. I dot have to like everything to live with it, just acknowledge everyone needs to be treated equally.