<p>I got to know a girl in the summer; she was perfect and all, but she wasn't as committed to the relationship. nonetheless, she did try to make me feel happy and even agreed to be in a long distance relationship (she lives several states away) for a month after. Finally, she broke up with me last month, and it's been a month since I felt really down. I got a chance to meet her on a college trip last weekend, and man, it was painful. She did snub me, and I even cried so hard. Finally, we tried to end it on a good note, but I still love her, and don't know how to completely move on.
Help?</p>
<p>The obvious: don’t think about her. Do things to distract you. Get to know other girls. Make a list of all the things that you didn’t like about her, how she hurt you. That won’t help you forget her, but look back at it whenever you think that you miss her. She hurt you–she’s clearly not perfect.</p>
<p>It is so hard to get over the memories. I try to forget, but once in a while, they keep popping back. I miss her so much…</p>
<p>Think about how she snubbed you. (snub is such a weird word.) She hurt you. Don’t miss somebody like that.</p>
<p>SerendipitE is right… I made a mental list, this is how I made it through my ex and I breaking up 3 weeks ago. And we’d been together for 6 months… Look, I dunno’ how your situation was, but my ex had changed, and she admitted it too, and chose her new self over me… While she asked to have me back, I said no, even though it hurt like hell… The reason for my saying that is that if she changed, and if is not the person who you fell in love with, then it’s good that it ended, because a relationship of facades and holding back comments and concerns is just pointless… My point: She seems to have changed… I’d try to forget about her and to remove her from my life, if I were you. Worked for me.</p>
<p>And find someone new(: But not just a vacuous rebound girl, at least go for someone who you care about at least somewhat, and who’s also interesting, and interested in you.</p>
<p>My ex had changed too, and that was the sad part. The last time we were together, we were so close. And now, even when it ended on a good note- much due to my effort, I still feel so sad and nostalgia. The girl had changed. Her feelings for me had changed. That is the scariest part. I still love her, a lot.</p>
<p>Okay, i’m going to be really straightforward here. You say you still love her. You mean the old her. You said so yourself that she changed. She’s not the same anymore. She’s not the person you fell in love with. She’s different. You don’t love the new her, and it doesn’t seem like she’s going to change back just for you.</p>
<p>poor therage. It sucks not to have the one thing you want most in the world. I feel your pain. sort of. but anyway, I agree with serendipitE. there are lots of girls out there who probably yearn for a sensitive and (hopefully, lol) attractive guy like you. you cant sit at home making a thread on CC about how much you miss her. it will not help. you get out there and ACT. then you can finally let yourself meet someone better than her who probably can give you back the same amount of love. GO! CARPE DIEM! (well tomorrow. it may be too late today.)</p>
<p>and if it makes you feel better, if she has a facebook, post as many pictures as you can with a new, prettier,more awsome girl so she can FEEL THE PAIN. but be sure not to use the girl for that sole purpose ;)</p>
<p>Take it from a Dad who has had many girlfriends over his life.</p>
<p>Nobody your age should be in a long distance relationship.</p>
<p>You are at your school.</p>
<p>She is at her school.</p>
<p>You live on two different planets, in two different worlds.</p>
<p>Everyone has been in your shoes. You will feel a lot better when you meet the next beautiful girl in your life.</p>
<p>And coming from an old guy, who perhaps can offer you some longer term perspective, I don’t think you can truly love someone when you are in your teens or early 20’s. Looking back, I was not really in love with the girls I was with back then. True love is much more involved than you currently realize. You can’t truly love a girl you only met this past summer. You might lust for them, or be fond of them, but I don’t think you truly love them at your age.</p>
<p>The good news is that this experience will make you a better person in your next relationship. And that twenty years from now, this probably won’t even be an event you will care about or remember.</p>
<p>You need to realize that she hurt you, and even if she were to suddenly come running back to you, the fact that she hurt you so bad in the past could never repair your relationship.
There are two reasons for why you are feeling this way, just look at them in perspective: for one thing, you have it in your mind that she is the only one for you. You know rationally that there are better people out there, but your brain has its complete focus on her. What you will learn to realize is that if this was the best relationship for you, you’d be a lot happier than you are right now, because when you love someone you do everything you can to make them happy.
Also, its even worse for you because you have been rejected and there is nobody around to soothe the pain. And I’m not talking about friends, I’m talking about potential love interests. Believe me, you don’t truly get over someone until you find somebody else.
Rejection leads us to look at everything with a magnified perspective because we start to think that something is wrong with us. That is why girls can’t stand seeing their ex boyfriends find somebody new, even if the girl has a boyfriend…it’s because a part of her wants to feel flattered that her ex still loves her, and if her ex forgets about her completely, then the girl feels rejected. Kinda sad how females work sometimes, and I should know because I am one.
But anyway, focus on other things until you find somebody who will treat you right. I was in the same situation as you where I was hurt very badly by a guy, and then I found a boy who, 9 months later, still treats me like I’m some sort of goddess, and I am closer to him then I ever thought I’d be with anyone since I generally don’t get too close to people. And regarding the guy who hurt me before…once he found out I had a boyfriend he got all jealous. That’s just how people work…you forget about someone until they are in a new relationship, then suddenly they are more desirable.</p>
<p>Also, don’t mistake sadness, rejection and desire for love. That’s what I did in the past with the guy who was hurting me, and now that I have a new boyfriend I can honestly say that I find the old guy disgusting and he would most likely be the last guy I could ever fall for in my lifetime.</p>
<p>“Okay, i’m going to be really straightforward here. You say you still love her. You mean the old her. You said so yourself that she changed. She’s not the same anymore. She’s not the person you fell in love with. She’s different. You don’t love the new her, and it doesn’t seem like she’s going to change back just for you.” This is exactly right. I rationalized it to myself that “old Brooke” was dead, and hated “new Brooke” was all she could ever be from now on, so just look at it like that, it really does help. That and finding someone else, if you find someone worth taking a chance on(:</p>
<p>And wow, all CCers give great advice!</p>
<p>^haha, thanks. I’m new here.</p>
<p>lol. i forgot i cant say the synonym of poop on CC.</p>
<p>VODKA is the answer son! </p>
<p><a href=“No,%20not%20really.”>size=1</a>[/size]</p>
<hr>
<p>Time, new friendships, new relationships, new realizations will heal your sorrow. Take the breakup as a blessing in disguise.</p>
<p>I’ll leave that last phrase for you to ponder about.</p>
<p>^lolololol</p>
<p>^^ haha. ice cream is more like it</p>
<p>So should I add her back on facebook? I half want to talk with her, half want to wait until she misses me and calls me. I’ve been feeling so horrible the whole day. Please help!</p>
<p>^ you’re too needy! No offense but if she doesn’t like you, why would you still want a relationship with her? It’s not going to be achievable? It takes two people to be committed. Sorry guy but you’re out of luck. Time will come and love will find it’s way 
just have to wait, and stop thinking that girl is the ONE because there REALLY is many more out there. You just have to wait and be patient. Patience is the key :)</p>