<p>I am 21 and I just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years. I have definitely been out of the dating scene for a while and don't even know where to begin. I am a pretty shy guy as well and its not easy for me to talk to strangers unless I am drinking. I am wondering if anybody has any advice for me on how I can go about meeting a girl to actually be in a relationship with in college. Hopefully nobody says parties bc I have no problems really hooking up with random girls. I actually want to be in a long relationship though. I am a junior in college so my time is running out, I guess. Also, it is hard for me to be myself around girls because I get scared at what they will think of me. Thanks</p>
<p>My advice is to grow some balls.</p>
<p>why is time running out…are u DYING?</p>
<p>christt.</p>
<p>Well if you have no problem hooking up with girls (I’ll assume you’re not just slaying dragons) then I would take it that you’re probably decent looking and you can talk to girls to some extent so your problem is that you can’t keep their interest. You can definitely work to improve this and turn things around.</p>
<p>This is what you bring to the table (according to your post)
-You just ended a long term relationship
-You need liquid courage to talk to people
-You are desperate for another long term relationship
-You are afraid of what women think of you so cannot be yourself
-You are open to hooking up with random girls
OP-Did you learn anything about relationships during the 4 years with your ex? Take what you learned and evolve into a better person.</p>
<p>Buy some confidence pills</p>
<p>you gotta be smooth, strategic, and not love these h***. sad, but true. there so much hooking up in college that u learn not to get too attached-- at least from my experience.</p>
<p>post on message boards. thats the best way to meet women.</p>
<p>Weed will get you friends and dates.</p>
<p>Sharing weed…</p>
<p>I can only speak as as a female basically looking for the same (ie serious relationship) : introduce yourself to girls in clubs and social events you go to, be nice, try to talk one on one, and don’t be afraid to be your quirky self (you’ll end too bland otherwise and that won’t even land you a female friend usually). I’d think that if the girl is looking for a relationship too, she won’t be sitting/standing there criticizing everything you do or say; she’s just trying to get to know you. I mean, when you are meeting someone, do you instantly think of everything that they are saying/doing wrong? Well, most college girls don’t do that either.</p>
<p>This stuff can’t really be taught. The key to success with chicks is feeling like you’re above them and not being intimidated in any way. If you’re still shy as a junior in college, obviously you need to get better with people in general; not just chicks.</p>
<p>If you overly care what girls think of you, you’re screwed. This isn’t something that’ll get fixed overnight, or even something that you have control over.</p>
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<p>yessssss exactly…most guys approach a girl all nervous thinking he has to say all the right things because she’ll be picking him apart and evaluating him the whole time he’s talking and that he has to gain her approval. Why not go into it thinking that this girl is actually happy that you approached her, which she probably is, or better yet, she’s lucky that you approached her, and she is the one that has to win your approval. It doesn’t really matter what you say anyway, just how you go about it.</p>
<p>What you say matters, although I’ll agree that other things matter more. Like body language, eye contact, vocal tone, etc. And lets not forget looks. A very good looking guy can just act normal and be good. An ugly guy is usually screwed no matter what he says.</p>
<p>How often do you even see or hear about chicks getting approached though? I’ve gone to U of A for over 4 years and have only heard about it once. Almost all couples meet each other in class, at parties, through friends, etc.</p>
<p>Well one of you has to approach the other in order to meet.</p>
<p>That isn’t what people generally mean by approaching a chick, though.</p>
<p>^ Come to think of it, I’ve never seen some guy go up to a random girl and be like “hey wanna go out?” I have had guys who I barely knew ask me out though - pretty annoying, but maybe that’s just me.</p>
<p>^ Can’t say I’ve seen that either…By approach I just mean start talking to a girl you don’t know.</p>
<p>“A very good looking guy can just act normal and be good. An ugly guy is usually screwed no matter what he says.”</p>
<p>lol, I don’t think I’ve ever found this to be true for me. Really, it depends on the girl though.</p>
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<p>It does. I’ve found that the less good looking chicks “don’t care” about looks as much. Although I think that they develop that attitude since the good looking guys don’t care about them. But really, I only care about the hot chicks. I guess acting normal won’t always suffice, but you don’t need the same level of game that an average guy does.</p>