<p>"Kids today have been so pampered that they don't have to consider the feelings (or the time of) others (usually their parents)"</p>
<p>And the quilty party responsible for that would be?????</p>
<p>I've read this post for a couple of days, kinda wanting to say something but also knowing that my sense of humour may be not as appreicated..</p>
<p>The post originally started out about S skipping BBQ to be with girlfriend. My first thought was well maybe it could be the food. :) How many boys skip food opportunities? I know it's mean, but mine would ask if their buds could come, especially for the BBQ. </p>
<p>Then on the serious side, I see the problems coming from long before this point in time. But it's also a mom/dad thing.. personally, my kids wouldn't want me to pack them as I could do it in 15 minutes or less. We played that game once before they were 10 with their toys. </p>
<p>These kids are only doing what you allow. Worried their on the phone too much, give them the bill. Pretty simple, set what you'll cover and what you won't. It's part of letting them grow up. If they can pay their own, I have no say.</p>
<p>I think that how much time he spends on the phone with his girlfriend should be his choice as long as the minutes are covered by the payment plan that you've given him. Let him know in advance that if he goes over what his plan covers, he'll be responsible for paying the bill, and then follow through on that. If he doesn't pay, cut off his phone service and let him pay for whatever phone service he can afford. However, don't decide to do this without warning him first.</p>
<p>WHen I say kids today, I do believe that we are afraid to step up sometimes and say, no, tonight is a family event, and we want you here...parents are so afraid of making kid mad, interfering, asking for family time</p>
<p>And I do see many kids right here on CC that complain about parents wanting to be involved, they don't want to give an inch</p>
<p>or call home when going away to school, its all about the kids needs and wants, and not about maybe the parent having some needs...some give and take is needed, but alot of what I have read from kids on CC is take not so much giving, and as young adults, no matter what the parents let them get away with as children, now is the time to mature, see how others are feeling, sacrafice a bit of "fun" time and do the family thing</p>
<p>I think it's very reasonable to tell your kid that he is expected to attend a family event, if that's something that's important for the FAMILY. </p>
<p>I think the problem arises when parents organize those events "for the KID" (and present it as such), while the kid feels that he'd rather spend that time with GF or friends. Everyone ends up frustrated and upset that way.</p>
<p>"I think the problem arises when parents organize those events "for the KID" (and present it as such), while the kid feels that he'd rather spend that time with GF or friends. Everyone ends up frustrated and upset that way"</p>
<p>I would agree with this thought. Somewhere there is a communication breakdown. Maybe the kid should have been asked ahead of time if he wanted a BBQ. No? not a problem. Yes, Ok what would you like? no problem.</p>
<p>"Apple, thank the Good Lord that your son has escaped the clutches of that Gf and her kooky mom. Could you not pay the cellphone bill for a couple of months so he has even more seperation from her?"</p>
<p>Wow. Please tell me what specifically this has girlfriend done wrong that the son hasn't done wrong. On CC it seems only that the girlfriends are at fault in any sort of relationships. One bad thing, "Get rid of her!" Some moms on here are absolutely ridiculous.</p>
<p>STOP BLAMING THE GIRLFRIENDS! After all, it is the SON'S choice to be with them.</p>
<p>19382: Well, for starters, she calls six times a day. Her mom expresses how perfect they are for each other. They're just kids, for God's sake! This fits my definition of kooky. Knowing full well that the son is leaving home, the girlfriend's family should NOT expect hime to spend his last weekend at a function THEY throw for him. Very controlling behavior. </p>
<p>If this girl's mom were a reasonable person, she'd be teaching her d to ease up and give the boy some breathing space. I'd die if my d behaved this way. If the tables were turned, and a boy showed this extreme possessiveness, I think he'd be seen as a potential abuser.</p>
<p>And kids can't be in love? And where was it mentioned that the function her parents were throwing was for him?</p>
<p>What's ridiculous is that some moms on here blame everything on the girlfriend. They don't realize that hmm, it's my son that WANTS to go to her house instead of spend time with his family. The problem must be her, not my son! She's psycho and controlling!</p>
<p>Come on. These kids are all young adults going to college soon or already in college. I think they can handle their own relationships and learn to realize what's controlling and what's not. Parent intervention will only bring them closer together. Trust me.</p>
<p>19382: My son just turned 10, so I really have no personal bias about this scenario. As an outsider looking in, it is obvious to me that the girl & her mom are being controlling, possessive, unreasonable, and insensitive to the boy's family. </p>
<p>Any mom who knows the boy is about to leave for school would say to him, "Johnnie, we love to have you over, but you really need to spend some time with your mom & dad who will be misssing you very much." It's simply the decent, courteous thing to do. Look outside yourself and consider the feelings of those around you. Neither the kids nor the girl's mom are doing that right now. Yes, kids will be kids. But the mom sounds like a kook.</p>
<p>Um....well it seems to me that neither mother should try to control the kids so much.....my mom and my boyfriends mom silently feud over who we spend more time with all the time. Personally, we just try to go the movies and spend time with neither because we dont want to hurt anyones feelings. After all, if your son doesnt mind her calling six times in a row, then why shoudl you? After all, i assume you arent home just ignoring the phone? However, i do agree that he shouldnt have cancelled on the cookout.</p>
<p>Ha! I haven't visited these boards in a while, and saw this thread. My D was just like this before she left for school. I was not too fond of the BF because I thought he was taking her focus off of college, taking her time away from us, and they were just way too serious. Now here it is, 3 weeks into the school year, and I actually found myself telling her to be considerate of his feelings, since she seems to have forgotten him entirely. What a difference a few weeks makes!
I didn't think they'd last for than a few months, now I'm questioning if they'll make it that long.</p>
<p>This whole topic is interesting to me. My freshman son is 8 hours away from home and left a gf of three years. We really like the gf but feel that it is very important in terms of adjustment and focus that he not feel committed to a high school relationship. The gf is a senior in high school and is looking at colleges that are oos, but not looking at the school where our son attends. They are in regular contact and son is coming back the end of September to attend a family wedding with the gf. I am really ambivalent about the situation, on the one hand we like the gf, but on the other hand feel that it would be a very healthy thing for them to see some other people to get a true perspective on their relationship. I think I am kind of counting on statistics to take care of the situation. After all, how many high school romances make it past Christmas of the freshman year of college?</p>
<p>"I am really ambivalent about the situation, on the one hand we like the gf, but on the other hand feel that it would be a very healthy thing for them to see some other people to get a true perspective on their relationship."</p>
<p>Your son is in college. His relationships are his choice now. Trust him to make the right decision for what is right for him. And if he senses you'll be hoping him and the gf will break up, that will only cause problems between you two. Time to let it go and leave it alone. Not your business anymore.</p>
After all, how many high school romances make it past Christmas of the freshman year of college?
[/quote]
Around here, when a freshman talks about his/her significant other back home, the upperclassmen look at each other and mouth "Thanksgiving." ;) One year some of the guys had a pool going on one of the cute freshman girls. She and her boyfriend made it to just after Valentine's Day (which was significantly longer than most of the pool participants expected/wanted them to be together).</p>
<p>My earlier quote: "Kids today have been so pampered that they don't have to consider the feelings (or the time of) others (usually their parents)"</p>
<p>Opie.."And the quilty party responsible for that would be?????</p>
<p>I've read this post for a couple of days, kinda wanting to say something but also knowing that my sense of humour may be not as appreciated.."</p>
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<p>I totally agree that it is the parents' fault that all these kids are have such poor manners. Frankly, there are so many adults with poor manners that it doesn't surprise me that they haven't taught their kids. How many parents today teach their kids to say "Hello" when an adult comes to visit in their homes? How many parents do not expect their kids/teens to be able to carry a nominal conversation with a visiting adult? I can't tell you how many times a teen has visited my home or I have been in a teen's home and the teen doesn't even acknowledge me. I once asked a kid if he was deaf (in front of him own mom!!!) because he never responded whenever I asked him a simple question.</p>
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<p>Sticker: "Any mom who knows the boy is about to leave for school would say to him, "Johnnie, we love to have you over, but you really need to spend some time with your mom & dad who will be misssing you very much." It's simply the decent, courteous thing to do. Look outside yourself and consider the feelings of those around you. Neither the kids nor the girl's mom are doing that right now. Yes, kids will be kids. But the mom sounds like a kook."</p>
<p>Sticker.... I agree... But you are expecting such a mom to be mature and have some manners...there are too many who aren't and don't.</p>