<p>I think newjack used gold-digging as a misnomer. I think what he meant was "I've heard that college girls have the expectation that guys should hand everything to them, is that true?"</p>
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I think newjack used gold-digging as a misnomer. I think what he meant was "I've heard that college girls have the expectation that guys should hand everything to them, is that true?"
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<p>Haha, no I just used it because it's a funny phrase. It definitely captured people's attention.</p>
<p>Anyway, thanks for the input. What has been said is what I figured. The only reason why I asked was that my friends made it seem as though I had to be vigilant or something haha.</p>
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as long as women are still making 77 cents to every dollar a man makes, i will be accepting all jewelry and dinner donations.
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hahah. love it.</p>
<p>also, if you ask someone out, you should pay for them. it's as simple as that. if a guy asks me to dinner, i pretty much expect that he'll offer to pay for the date. if i ask a guy out, i'll pay for him. it doesn't have to do with gender, it has to do with being polite..</p>
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also, if you ask someone out, you should pay for them. it's as simple as that. if a guy asks me to dinner, i pretty much expect that he'll offer to pay for the date. if i ask a guy out, i'll pay for him. it doesn't have to do with gender, it has to do with being polite..
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<p>Of course I'd gladly accept a girl offering to pay for me, but I'm against it in principle. Broadly construed, a date is just two people doing something together to get to know each other better; it's not some sort of ritualistic offering.</p>
<p>"also, if you ask someone out, you should pay for them. it's as simple as that. if a guy asks me to dinner, i pretty much expect that he'll offer to pay for the date. if i ask a guy out, i'll pay for him. it doesn't have to do with gender, it has to do with being polite.."</p>
<p>See, I've never been brought up like that. Actually the first time I heard someone said that, I was like in middle school (relatively late -whatever). I just think it depends on the person. I prefer to go dutch. My friend dated this one guy and they had this thing where they pay every other date or whatever.</p>
<p>Is it normal to go on expensive dates in college? I mean, I thought we were all 'poor, broke college students' lol. A trip to Mickey D's is okay with me :) </p>
<p>I don't think it's that hard to come up with creative, non-expensive things to do for a first date...like...oh kay i can't think of one right now, but there's plenty to do, right?</p>
<p>"I don't think it's that hard to come up with creative, non-expensive things to do for a first date...like...oh kay i can't think of one right now, but there's plenty to do, right?"</p>
<p>Work out, go to a sports event or practice, running, clubs, lectures, museums, exploring the campus, looking at department offices, free movies on campus, etc.</p>
<p>It's sort of ridiculous to me that people stick to what they were brought up with. Like if you substituted "being chivalrous" with "being racist," all of a sudden sticking to tradition doesn't seem so noble and commendable. I was raised to be chivalrous as well, but I've eschewed many chivalrous tactics in dealing with girls because I've found that it's often inefficient and perhaps even ineffective.</p>
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I was raised to be chivalrous as well, but I've eschewed many chivalrous tactics in dealing with girls because I've found that it's often inefficient and perhaps even ineffective.
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<p>If you think being chivalrous is supposed to be used to pick up women then you obviously misunderstood. I'd much rather get a girl that appreciates chivlary than some girl who's picked up by using some of those lines in the books you read. I read that crap, and truthfully, most of it just sounds like its for geeks who don't know how to act around women.</p>
<p>Ahaha it's funny how defensive you got, leading up to you launching an attack in the form of a not-so-subtle insinuation. This has nothing to do with PUA shenanigans, a cause that I've said on here many times that I'm against, although I do feel that it's misunderstood. </p>
<p>I'd much rather get a girl that likes me for who I am as opposed to what I do. When I have those girls in my life, who value the set of qualities I embody and genuinely care about me, I treat them "fair" and well; I make it clear how much they mean to me and go at great lengths to show my compassion. For the rest of the girls I encounter on a regular basis, who only inquire as to what purpose I will serve for them, I will only treat them as to how it will best serve my self-interest.</p>
<p>ooo I don't mean to get defensive, I just find it rather annoying on here how some people on here act like " if you do something nice for a girl you are automatically a wuss" where that is far from the case. But, I'll still treat everyone well, because you never know who's day you might make and what might come out of that, you never know.. the person you help one day might be the person who you need to save your ass down the road. I'm not saying be a pushover to women either- because that's where a lot of people go wrong.. its about drawing a line between being a pushover and just looking like a tool.</p>
<p>I agree that it's annoying on here or in real life when guys parade around the bravado that doing anything nice to a girl is automatically lying down to be a doormat. That's reactionary and swinging the pendulum too far. It's not as if I go out of my way to be an ******* to girls on the first date, I just screen girls first before deciding to treat them particularly well or chivalrously.</p>
<p>well just keep in mind that girls are doing the same thing- screening the guy on the first date..so being chivalrous on the first date isn't a bad idea..especially if you're looking for a second date</p>
<p>remember how i got raped in the dating...... forum because of this issue? and not everyone in college is poor (i.e. me), you can work you know... and ill never let a girl pay for a date, maybe her own part, but never for me. unless i was broke (if i am i wouldnt go out on a date) or if she wants to buy me something expensive, like a watch or a plane.</p>
<p>i want to be a gold digger btw</p>
<p>easy, you mentioned a $40 date limit, that's around where mine is too for an early date. I just know some guys who won't even spend $15-$20 on a restaurant for themselves, let alone for themselves plus 1. I kind of operate assuming that my budget is higher than others, and I consider the luxury of going to a decent restaurant for the date such that I don't have to deal with ****ty service or bad food worth the price. It's also the reason I've taken multiple girls to the same restaurants for the first couple dates. They're places that I know are a) within my price range b) have decent food c) have decent atmosphere and d)have good service.</p>
<p>My attitude is similar to yours, I don't pay for them simply because it's the right thing to do, I pay for them because they've done something to "prove" their "worthy" of my paying for them.</p>
<p>It's not a limit. It just happened to be the most I've ever spent on a date, and it was on my ex who I still love (and loved at the time also, although we had already broken-up). She already knows me and recognizes me for who and what I am, and paying for dinner was just a way for me to show my love and appreciation for her. </p>
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well just keep in mind that girls are doing the same thing- screening the guy on the first date..so being chivalrous on the first date isn't a bad idea..especially if you're looking for a second date
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<p>I'm not screening them to see if I'm looking for a second date. The screening process in this aspect is more than just one date. Until I've confidently determined that she thoroughly knows me and cares for me, I won't be mean, but not particularly nice.</p>
<p>I'm willing to keep seeing a girl who doesn't pass this screening process. I'll enjoy her company, but I won't do any "nice" things for her.</p>
<p>Well I like to eat good food :D Haha I eat 40-50 dollar meals when I'm alone.. and I'd obviously never expect a girl to pay for me taking her out for the first time with a big bill haha.</p>
<p>Wow, I think if the guy asks the girl out then he should pay, at least the first date, that's how it goes traditionally. The girl should offer to pay but the guy should pay the first time. Then everyone can figure it out! </p>
<p>JMO</p>
<p>"I'm willing to keep seeing a girl who doesn't pass this screening process. I'll enjoy her company, but I won't do any "nice" things for her."</p>
<p>This is just low, imo. Just because a girl didn't pass some arbitrary "screening process" of yours, she is denied your "niceness," but you feel it's all right to keep going out with her?</p>
<p>i just do not see anything wrong with a guy paying for a date. if you asked me to go then you will be expected to pay. if it was up to me i would have just stayed home. in my family the men are the ones who usually pay for the meals and open the doors and when in a relationship that is the type of person i would be looking for. i am not sure if that is gold digging though...</p>
<p>"I'd much rather get a girl that likes me for who I am as opposed to what I do."</p>
<p>There are only two ways for a girl to determine who you are - by hearing you talk about who you are, and by seeing who you are. Since we can all say that we are honest, loyal, selfless, etc., learning about who you are straight from you is not exactly reliable. Only your actions can show with any certainty who you really are. It's strange that you don't see this connection.
Btw, I'm not saying that not paying for a first date automatically places you on the non-chivalrous, selfish, cheap, stingy list, but if you combine that with some other actions that reinforce these qualities, it might just be used to make a judgement on who you are as a person.</p>