Grade another essay. This is be *so* much fun

<p>So I realized I kinda went off of a tangent with my essay. With this kind of writing, what kind of grade would I receive?</p>

<p>IGNORE MY "BE" IN THE TITLE</p>

<p>Thanks! Post your essay on the bottom</p>

<p>Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? </p>

<p>Some things in life are meant to be kept private. Many times, actions should not be spread around, for the person or for others safety. Nowadays nothing is private and our culture has become too confessional. Presently, people think when one isn’t expressing their feelings, they must be doing something illegal. This belief can be repeated throughout literature, news, and experience. </p>

<p>In F. Scott Fitzgerald famous novel, The Great Gatsby, main character Mr. Gatsby is a recluse. He doesn’t talk to his neighbors, he does good deeds for everyone, and basically no one knows his life, personal history, or hobbies. For the narrator of the story, Nick Carraway, he tried to figure out this man through people, neighbors, etc. One night, Mr. Carraway was invited to a party hosted by Mr. Gatsby, where he met Jordan Baker. She and a bunch of her friends tried to come up with a reason for the actions of Mr. Gatsby. They accused him of being a murderer, victim, robber, etc. When readers continue on the story, they learn that Mr. Gatsby was an honest man and just like to keep things personal. As demonstrated by the names came up from Jordan and her friends, it is obvious that nowadays nothing is private, or else people accuse the loner as a malicious villain. </p>

<p>Another example can be found throughout mass media. A couple of weeks ago, there was a kid who posted on his facebook that he was going to vandalize. Whenever one posts a status on facebook, that status spreads around to all of his friends, to his friends of friends, and sooner or later, a police. Because the kid took a picture of his “YOLO” pose next to his car and the newly graffitied wall, he was immediately caught and arrested for damage of private property. Despite the fact that no one should ever commit the crime of vandalizing, it is even worse if one posts it across a public forum where millions of people can view it, not to mention report it. Therefore, people should make more effort in keeping some things private for your own well-being.</p>

<p>Many times throughout high school, people need to keep some things private fake the sake of others. For example, the topic of pregnancy, giving birth, etc is definitely something not everyone wants to hear. Once in my foreign language class, a girl in front of me was talking to her friend about her sexual life. Not only did they just discussed it, she also described in DETAIL, with plenty of adverbs and adjectives. It was so descriptive that one kid actually threw up. Our teenage culture has become so confessional and self-expressive that it’s actually disturbing to people. Therefore, it was be considerate not only for yourself, but also for others around you.</p>

<p>Our society has emphasized too much about confessions and admittance. However, the public must keep some things private. Keeping certain topics can prevent for yourself as demonstrated by the facebook news. Keeping other topics can prevent someone puking all over a classroom floor. People need to stop being so judgemental just because someone may be a quiet introvert. As shown from literature, news media, and experience, people need to make more of an effort to keep some things private.</p>

<p>bloop?
anyone?</p>

<p>PRETTY PLEASEEE!</p>

<p>HELP ME FOR MY MARCH SAT </p>

<p>;p</p>

<p>Here comes the truth: it is not a good essay. I’ll point out what bad about it and give you some advice on how to get better. The opening paragraph is reasonable overall, but the last sentence doesn’t make sense “Presently, people think when one isn’t expressing their feelings, they must be doing something illegal”. You put it as if it’s the first thought on everyone’s mind, but it’s not. The first example (Gatsby) is OK as an idea, as it does support your position, but you have all kind of grammar and wording mistakes there and you describe the whole thing in a somewhat premature manner (in my opinion). The second example is not good (facebook). You can’t use “YOLO pose” on an essay (come on, you know that, and if you don’t, now you do) and in general it’s a pretty poor example to support your position. The next paragraph is the worst, as you sound as if you’re telling some juicy gossip to a friend of yours (hint: this is not how you should sound on an essay). You complain about that person being too descriptive, and then you tell the reader how a kid (don’t use this word on an essay) puked all over the floor. At this point I didn’t want to continue reading, but I did it only for you (I guess that as an SAT evaluator, at this point I would give you a low score and move on). In your finishing paragraph you sound like you just wanted to scribble something down to finish already. “The facebook news” doesn’t work. Generally speaking, you have many grammar and spelling mistakes, but that’s easy to learn and to fix. You use “etc” way too much. Now, how to get better? Read a TON of SAT essays (if you have the collegeboard blue book, you have examples there. If you don’t have it, get it). Look up online. Try to get an idea of how a proper essay looks like. Then, write a TON of essays. Not as part of a practice test. Just look for a prompt (google “sat essay prompts”), set up a timer ([SAT</a> stopwatch](<a href=“http://www.satstopwatch.com%5DSAT”>http://www.satstopwatch.com) if you don’t have one) and just write. Good luck.</p>

<p>Thanks. I’ll try my best to correct them all before the march sat D:</p>