grade my essay please- Just started learning SAT, Not a strong writer

<p>Do society's rules limit our decisions such that our choices are not freely made? </p>

<p>Under any circumstances, society shouldn't affect our thoughts, beliefs and the choices we make in our lives. However, it is an inevitable fact that society affects all of these factors. This is very clear in Korean culture where all men must serve their country for two years due to the rules made by their society. Similarly, many people dress to fit in with the trend, instead of expressing themselves in the way they truly wish to. </p>

<p>In Korea, due to the civil war that occurred in the late 1950s, all men are obliged to sacrifice a small portion of their youth in the army. Unsurprisingly, apart from those who desire to be soldiers, many are frustrated with their freedom of choice taken away from them. The rule itself is a government law, however it was the Korean civilians idea for all the men to be trained in case of an unexpected attack. After years of persistent demanding for this new rule, it automatically became legalised against many people's will. Since this was legalised a long time back, the Korean youth today is limited from doing anything for two years due to the rules made by their ancestors in the past.</p>

<p>Likewise, many teenagers dress or behave to fit in with society even if it means going against their own will and choice. It is because of society's standards that bullying occurs in schools, and it is also society that creates trends which pressurises teenagers to think that they have to conform to them. As a teenager myself, there was a time where i bought some clothes completely far from my taste, because they were the trend at that time. Although i had complete control over the purchase of the clothes, I surrendered to society's 'trend' in the fear of being bullied had i not bought the shirt. </p>

<p>Society is a big influence in peoples lives. It has and always will pressurise us despite our efforts to not be fragile in front of them. </p>

<p>I suggest you read the Get a 12 in 10 days CB thread. It is the most helpful resource out there.</p>

<p>The essay will receive 9 I think. It’s too short for a double digit score.</p>

<p>Thank you! </p>