Grade my essay, please?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>With the myriad of ways one can share personal - and sometimes confidential - information, it's rather easy for prying eyes to pick up on. For example, many young people across America are subscribers to "Facebook," a social-networking website. While Facebook provides the ability to meet other folks with similar interests, swap stories with friends and the like, it is also a potential haven for sexual predators; cyber-bullies, and other people or groups of people with no other interest than that of wrongdoing. Although, while sharing information is facilitated by the internet, simple and extremely effective precautions - such as antivirus software, parental controls, and website-provided security options - may be taken to completely block out unwanted traffic.</p>

<p>Before the rise of Internet, communication was chiefly face-to-face. Much of what others say is often forgotten due to the limited short-term memory of the brain, as many neurologists attest to; however, gossip abounds across all age groups and may be just as harmful, if not more detrimental, to the social reputation and/or self-esteem of an individual. Information passed from one person to another, intended to be confidential, should remain so; oftentimes, though, such information is passed along to peers or colleagues. While changes in society, such as decreases in morals, and the way other people share information, has an impact on whether or not one may be able to confide in another person, certainly plays a role in this information sharing, it takes very little effort in order to 'keep it to yourself'.</p>

<p>While information sharing via technological means takes the lions share of the decrease in privatization, easily the most preventable of all is that of one's personal life. Simply, do not share what would otherwise cripple the self esteem of another or vice-versa. This method also applies to letters or other non-technological means of communication. Conversely, if a person somehow receives unwanted information, again, simply delete or get rid of such articles of data. By following these simple strategies, it may save time and trouble.</p>

2

<p>I’d give it a five.</p>

<p>It’s a pretty nicely-written essay, but it fails to look at the prompt in a wide spectrum. The readers are not looking at the validity or relevance of your examples entirely, but they want to see that you have a wide-range of knowledge and that you know how to write. Your main example in this is the Internet, specially Facebook at one point. Unless the prompt was focused on just sharing information over the internet, you should try to address another point.</p>

<p>You’re a solid writer and getting a six when you take the SAT should not be that difficult. Just make sure you write more (try to get your word count to 400+ in 25 minutes, its 336 right now). The more you write these short essays, the better you will get at them, but you’re already at a pretty high level compared to many people.</p>

<p>Suggestions:</p>

<p>Try to have at least two different, specific examples that relate to the prompt. The internet should be used as one example. Try to think of another one (I’d go for using another form of communication besides the internet, like radio or television; or you could even go into politics with the whole wikileaks fiasco etc.) Getting that second example will really help that essay, and beyond that there’s not much you need to do to get a 12 on the real SAT.</p>

3

<p>The essay really isn’t coherent.</p>

<p>An outline would be immensely helpful. Cut your argument down to the core and then develop the major ideas.</p>

<p>First – answer the question. Your answer to “Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?” seems to be yes.</p>

<p>Second – why? Why is it important to keep some things private? Answer with extremely simple reasons and then develop those reasons into paragraphs.</p>