Grade my essay please?????

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1

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessary make them better???</p>

<p>The only thing constant in life is changing. Changes may make our lives easier than we imagine but they don’t make us feel better, instead, they make us fall in the walls of despair and emptiness; however, we pursue those changes so we must carry the consequences of our actions. In order to support my perception, there are examples of modern history and ancient literature. </p>

<p>In the World war two, we all know that Hitler was exterminating Jews, handicapped, Blind, gypsies, mentally retarded and other groups of people in his effort to create Aryan race. He wanted to build one powerful country with a pure race; therefore he changed it but for the sake of other innocent people who didn’t do any harm to him. He murdered thinking that with the blood of those, he would change Germany for the best, but he didn’t. Germany lost the war. Hitler killed himself. </p>

<p>Achilles from the epic poem the odyssey was one of the best soldiers in the Achaean army. However, there was a war between the Achaean army and the Trojans. He faced one of the best soldiers in the Trojans, Hector. After a cowardly struggle between them, Hector had to succumb to the mighty blows of Achilles’ sword. Rather than release Hector’s body to his family for burial, Achilles chose to deface Hector’s body tying it to his chariot and dragging it about the Trojan plains. Did Achilles life become noticeably easier by the demise of a great foe? Indeed it did. No other man among the Trojans was a match for Achilles; however, Achill’s life was not better as the result of Hector’s death. He was depicted as a violent, blood thirsty, ruthless man. The gods began to view him as a bad person. In other words, Achilles life became easier but not better. </p>

<p>In conclusion, we people have the ability to change our lives for the better or for the worse, it’s our choice to make and it’s our life to do whatever it suits us best but we shouldn’t be myopic, we should think before we do anything abruptly without thinking, because big decisions and even small decisions may make our life easier but not necessarily better.</p>

2

<p>Any body one to grade???</p>

3

<p>Probably 7 or 8. There are some grammatical errors and your thesis needs to be more specific. You probably need to better explain how your supporting paragraphs link to the topic because I was a bit confused the first time I read it. Also, I think instead of using “myopic” in the last paragraph, you should use something a little less esoteric to make the essay more fluid.</p>

4

<p>thnx for the tips XD</p>

5

<p>I put corrections and comments in brackets [[…]]. Generally, be careful about capitalization and run-on sentences. Also, it’s not clear in your intro that your argument is that change makes things easier, but not necessarily better. It sounds in your intro that you’re saying change is always bad. </p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessary make them better??? [[just one question mark]]</p>

<p>The only thing constant in life is changing [[change]]. Changes may make our lives easier than we imagine[[,]] but they don’t make us feel better[[.]] Instead, they make us fall in the walls of despair and emptiness; however, we pursue those changes so we must carry the consequences of our actions. In order to support my perception, there are examples of modern history and ancient literature.</p>

<p>[[^Saying that change always leads to despair is a very strong statement that can be easily countered with historical examples like the abolition of slavery. Think about rephrasing your claim a little.]]</p>

<p>In [[World War II}}, we all know that Hitler was exterminating Jews, handicapped,[[ blind]], gypsies, mentally ■■■■■■■■ and other groups of people in his effort to create [[an]]Aryan race. He wanted to build one powerful country with a pure race; therefore he changed it but for the sake of other innocent people who didn’t do any harm to him. He murdered thinking that with the blood of those [[those who?]], he would change Germany for the best, but he didn’t. Germany lost the war. Hitler killed himself.</p>

<p>Achilles from the epic poem [[The Odyssey]] was one of the best soldiers in the Achaean army. However, there was a war between the Achaean army and the Trojans. He faced one of the best soldiers in [[Troy]], Hector. After a cowardly struggle between them, Hector had to succumb to the mighty blows of Achilles’ sword. Rather than release Hector’s body to his family for burial, Achilles chose to deface Hector’s body[[,]] tying it to his chariot and dragging it about the Trojan plains. Did Achilles life become noticeably easier by the demise of a great foe? Indeed it did. No other man among the Trojans was a match for Achilles; however, [[Achilles’]] life was not better as the result of Hector’s death. He was depicted as a violent, blood thirsty, ruthless man. The gods began to view him as a bad person. [[Needs one more sentence about how the gods’ favor effected Achilles and the war]] In other words, Achilles life became easier but not better.</p>

<p>In conclusion, we people have the ability to change our lives for the better or for the worse, it’s our choice to make and it’s our life to do whatever it suits us best[[,]] but we shouldn’t be myopic[[.]] [[We]] should think before we do anything abruptly [[ <em>delete</em> without thinking]], because big decisions and even small decisions may make our life[[lives]] easier but not necessarily better.</p>

6

<p>I’d say a 9. ^^^ did an excellent editing job, but i think ur language was fine. i don’t see how Hitler’s extermination of the jews made his life easier. How did achilles’ life become easier after killing hector? just somethings to think about. great conclusion :)</p>

7

<p>Look up “How to write a 12 SAT essay” on youtube. It helped me out with my own sat essay writing skills.</p>

8

<p>Very fuentalicious :d</p>