Please grade my essay. Thanks in advance

<p>"Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop have made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machines that we supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better."</p>

<h2>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? </h2>

<p>We have enjoyed many advances in technology that make our lives easier than before. However, according to Bill Gates, the book "The Shallow: How Internet is affecting our mind", and a survey from BBC as follow, breakthroughs in modern life failed to improve overall life quality of people, even who possess all of these state-of-the-art equipments.</p>

<p>Bill Gates once mentioned that "Applying technology to a good company leads to prosperous. Applying technology to a bad company destroys that company." Translation: "Advances in technology must be accompanied with ability to apply them." In Vietnam in 2000, many people bought cheap motorbikes from China, which caused daily major traffic jams in the rush hour in big cities because Vietnam's roads were built for a far smaller amount of traffics. Motorbikes, instead of making the journey become easier, made little changes at that time.</p>

<p>The book "The shallow: How Internet is affecting our mind" cited a very convictive experiment as follow. Thousands of volunteers are asked to read a book in both paperback version and electronic version. Those who read electronic version must click a link to turn on to the next page. After that, they are asked to do a test to measure their understanding about the text. Those who read paperback version have 30% higher scores than those who did not. Internet has shaped our lives and made information accession far easier, but we are to pay higher price to understand the information.</p>

<p>Kitchen equipments are meant to save our time cooking and produce the same quality of food. However, according to BBC's research, people in the beginning of 20th century spent roughly the same amount of time as people nowadays to cook the same meal (3 hours). Kitchen equipments just provide different ways to carry out the same tasks, so house makers are not likely to save their times on cooking.</p>

<p>Indeed, what make our lives easier do not necessarily improve their quality. Even people who invented technologies warned us about applying technology carefully to our life to achieve the best result.</p>

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<p>PS: However, according to Bill Gates, the book "The Shallow: How Internet is affecting our mind", and a survey from BBC as follow, breakthroughs in modern life failed to improve overall life quality of people, even who possess all of these state-of-the-art equipments.</p>

<p>I feel that there are something wrong with this sentence. Please help me rewrite it.
Thank you for your reading. I really appreciate it.</p>

<p>Bump please! If you do not like this topic, I have started another thread here (<a href=“Please give me some feedback about my essay. - SAT Preparation - College Confidential Forums”>Please give me some feedback about my essay. - SAT Preparation - College Confidential Forums) that you might like it.</p>

<p>YoungRoyal which college is this essay for? Also what do you want to major in?</p>