Grade My Essay please.

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1

<p>Title: Is perfection something to be admired or sought after?
I did the essay within time. Please free to analyze my essay critically and offer your advice on how I can make my essay better.</p>

<p>My essay:
In seeking perfection, we will strive to achieve and maximize our fullest potential instead of settling for mediocrity. Seeking perfection ensures our commitment to deliver the highest degree of quality in whatever endeavor that we pursue.
A surgeon who strives for perfection in mastering his skills will in turn deliver the best possible medical treatments to his patients. This is especially vital in a field where there the slightest diversion from perfection on the operating table means putting the life of a patient in risk. Thus, striving for perfection in the field of medical surgery ensures the patients receive the best possible medical treatments.
Larry Page and Sergey Brin, the founders of Google Inc., strove to perfect the web search engine technology, and now, despite their success in perfecting this technology, they are perpetually committed to seeking ways in surpassing their previous successes. When Google founders first began their endeavor, none of the other web search engine technologies available at that time were able to achieve the goal of retrieving relevant data from the seemingly plethora of unessential information available on the web. Google founders' drive for perfection however in the end provided the solution for on of Internet's biggest conundrum, and Internet users were able to maximize a technology of the highest quality in its field.
Thus, in the process of striving for perfection, the quality of work to the highest degree is attained.</p>

2

<p>you have a lot of WC errors. Use words in the right context.
Try using more specific, concrete examples for the surgeon instead of generally describing the job itself. </p>

<p>The Google example is also weak. What was the solution to the conundrum? What was the exact problem and how does it relate to their drive for perfection.</p>

<p>Also, try to elaborate your conclusion and answer more specifically to the actual prompt.</p>

3

<p>Your examples are not that strong. You would need to talk specifically how a surgeon's need for perfection would be good. What kind of surgery? What kind of methods need to be used? </p>

<p>The google example is better than your first example, but again you are lacking in the specifics. </p>

<p>I generally find it hard to have specific examples using real world events. I stick to literary works, but that might not work for you. </p>

<p>Your conclusion can use some work, but it's not a big concern. Focus on getting strong body to support your thesis first.</p>

4

<p>This essay might be like.. 7-8?</p>

5

<p>Yeah, 7-8. </p>

<p>and now, despite their success in perfecting this technology, they are perpetually committed to seeking ways in surpassing their previous successes</p>

<p>You can't surpass perfection. Take care with the words you use.</p>