<p>My father used to tell us that when graduated from college then we needed to be independent. He told us to go as far away as I wanted for school or work. But when it came to my kids, especially D1, he didn’t want her to go too far away. He always has a soft spot for her. He doesn’t understand why D1 is living by herself and not with us. </p>
<p>Grandparents feel differently than parents. They have the right to feel the way they do, but it doesn’t mean it is always best for your kids.</p>
<p>I agree with the core wisdom of CC posters so far. </p>
<p>The local colleges in my area could probably not be found among top 500 colleges. Since I moved to this area to have grandparents be back-up parents, they were close to son. Grand mom use to encourage son to,pursue his dreams, ’ if you get into MIT! I’ll find a way to make it happen". She meant MIT or other schools she saw as tops in his field.</p>
<p>I cannot imagine how happy the grandparents would have been if they had learned what fabulous schools offered son admission. Unfortunately, they died the year he applied.</p>
<p>So much is geography. If son grew up in Philly, MA, Boston, DC, etc., there would have a range of colleges for him to stay within 2-3 hours. even our flagship,is 6-7 hour car ride. It takes years for parents and grandparents to accept realities. The OP’s grandmother just cannot accept reality.</p>
<p>I was very close to one grandma, who had only one child, my father, and only me and my siblings as grandchildren. She was a big part of our lives growing up. But although she wasn’t the least bit shy at offering her opinions, she also recognized that it wasn’t up to her what we did with our lives. The grandmother in the OP is being overbearing and possibly influencing her grandchild to make a life-altering decision based on emotion, and that’s a shame.</p>
<p>This is a smile and nod moment.</p>
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<p>Exactly. Right about the time the ED app was submitted, which was ~10 months ago.</p>
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<p>Why? The anonymous OP asked for advice, and had gotten a bunch of it from anonymous posters. What you are probably flabbergasted by is the fact that you don’t like the advice. That’s ok, since it is anonymous and you and the OP are free to ignore it.</p>
<p>But let’s look at the facts: this is mid-July. Some colleges start moving in a a few weeks. The OP’s kid applied ED to a college (far away) last October. And only now, is the family/grandma coming to grips with the kid leaving? </p>
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<p>And would you have waited until the 11th hour to deal with it?</p>
<p>Seriously?</p>
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<p>While it was mouthy and obnoxious, I’d say its at least equally mouthy and obnoxious of her to keep insisting I pursue premed/med school even after I’ve made it quite plain on several occasions that I wasn’t interested and I didn’t appreciate her intruding like a busybody into my personal business…especially when neither her or even my parents were paying a cent of my undergrad tuition and expenses. </p>
<p>By the time I reacted with my retort, the time for your suggested quoted statement had long passed the Rubicon…especially considering I tried it at the beginning only to find she failed to take the hint. </p>
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<p>Not many people can produce a wad of cash to not only cover undergrad and med school, but also all associated costs of setting up one’s practice…especially paying out substantial malpractice judgments. </p>
<p>Knowing myself…those malpractice judgments would probably have even wiped out a multi-billionaire. Especially considering biological organisms like human beings tend to be much more complex and much more fragile than your average computer or small network. </p>
<p>:D</p>
<p>No one can “fail to take the hint” if you just repeat over and over again, “thanks for your advice, but I’m so excited I’m doing X (or Johnny is doing X).”</p>
<p>I think the issue will resolve itself once the child is attending the school. Gma will get used to the idea that her Gson is going away to college.</p>
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<p>Strictly speaking, this is not true. There are people, many of whom would be diagnosable under the DSM-IV, who cannot take hints.</p>
<p>She loves him, is going to miss him and does not know when to shut up. It’s annoying and kind of sweet at the same time. I’m with Oldfort…this is just a “smile and nod” moment. Probably one of many.</p>
<p>My face aches and the back of my neck is stiff from all the smiling and nodding I’ve done in the last eight years. But it sure beats arguing and equivocating.</p>
<p>My face and neck ache, too, Musicamusica.</p>
<p>I remember a similar thread a while ago. It led to a very funny set of lines. </p>
<p>Paraphrasing
“Grandma, we need to respect son’s choices. And, let’s make a deal. You do not get to pick his college. And we will make sure he is not the one deciding on your retirement home.”</p>
<p>Perhaps she is (like most grandparents and many parents of younger kid) out of touch with college costs. You can explain trying the win-win, including dollar detailss. It is a better fit AND we save $xx,xxx dollars per year too!</p>