<p>Perfection by Selection? Sounds like the slogan for an Aryan Brotherhood tee shirt rather than a sorority.</p>
<p>Lizzy, I am sure they do not mean it any any racist way, just elitist. In any case, hopefully some unsuspecting girls who may have looked up to them or wanted join them will realize what they are about and not want to be part of it, or, at least not subject themselves to the humiliation these girls dish out to make themselves feel special.</p>
<p>crob - I hope that you will continue to pursue this with the university. While I agree that there is a point at which one needs to move on, I think that you do understand this and are being sup0ortive of your daughter. While I agree that the girls wearing the shirts weren’t being specifically mean, it does point out one of the reasons some defend the status quo. Exclusitivity. If being Greek is such a wonderful thing (no greek life at my college so no personal experience) why not make it open to all who want to experience it?</p>
<p>As a mom of a sophomore at UD (sorority member) I thought I would jump in on this subject. Lots of thoughts. First of all, a question was asked if everybody is guaranteed a bid. The answer is no unfortunately. It’s a numbers games and there aren’t enough spots. Regarding the poster who claimed her d lost a few friends, and then another poster commented that they probably were not really friends… What I have observed is that the commitment (and the initial excitement with hanging out with new sorority friends) immediately following the “bid”, leaves very little free time. Sometimes it may feel like the girls are ending friendships, when in reality they may have sorority commitments nearly every night. So they have very little extra social time (school work too that may have been pushed aside during rush). Yes this crazy schedule may change - but that is how it is immediately following bid for weeks. Also sorority events are mandatory. From sharing my d’s experience, I do feel for those who did not get a bid where they wanted one. Many girls were devastated. For many, this was something they wanted for nearly a year, as they searched for colleges, they visualized sorority membership as being part of their college experience. therefore they have every right to feel sad. For those who think they are over-reacting, I disagree. In addition to being “left out”, their social lives may change as the girls they had been hanging out with are no longer available to them, due to their sorority commitments.</p>
<p>That’s exactly what I’m nervous of! I see you posted this in 2010 so can you let me know if you decided to go to UD or a different school perhaps. Either way, can you tell me about the school you chose and how the greek life is? and other aspects of the school too.</p>
<p>I am still unsure if I want to go Greek in college… is there still a good social environment at UD if you don’t rush for a sorority?</p>
<p>My D joined a sorority and is now a sophomore. She is rooming in Christiana this year with four friends and is taking an apartment with friends next year. All of are in different sororities or no sorority at all. Sororities at UD add a lot of activities and expand her social sphere but have certainly not ended or limited friendships with others in any way. Yes, there are times during rush or dance marathon when it takes up a lot of time (and expense), but she is still spending a lot of time in the library studying. She hasn’t lost her scholarship and even has a campus job. Much as I love her, my D is not an organizational whiz, or saint, so I have to believe that a lot of the fears I read about last year and the year before are groundless or exaggerated.</p>
<p>I can’t think of a single thing I’d less like to see my 18-22 year old daughter doing than being in a “selective in their own minds” sorority - or other group with a different name. How sad… for all included and excluded who wanted to be part of that “self-elite” group.</p>
<p>Say what you want, but that’s really the whole focus of most greek life in college. Insecure kids who want to somehow feel superior to others in a group. Sorry, but that’s what they mostly are. You are selected to be other’s friends who you don’t even know? Think how odd that is. </p>
<p>I would guess it’s even worse at school like UD where there are lots of very attractive girls and I’d imagine no shortage of shallow attractive girls. The girls that aren’t so shallow need to stand up and not allow pier pressure to drag them into the “perfection by selection” crowd.</p>
<p>egull21:
Only about 15% of the students at UD are involved with Greek Life. There are plenty of social/athletic/scholastic activities students can become involved in should they choose to participate. If you read this whole thread there are obviously perspectives on both sides of the issue regarding whether the Greek system is good/bad/ethical/non-ethical or something else. So there is a lot of food for thought on this thread. The bottom line is that you need to decide for yourself whether sorority life is what you would want as part of your overall college experience (keeping in mind there is an element of risk as not all women wanting to join are accepted-at least at UD). But even if you should decide you are not interested it it there are still plenty of things to do at UD as long as you avail yourself of the opportunities. Best wishes to you.</p>
<p>junior96 - I’m not sure who you are asking this question… it followed my post, so I just want to make it clear to you that I am a mom of a UD student who is in a sorority. Make no mistake - Greek life is very big at UD. This does not mean you will not enjoy UD if you choose not to participate; however I just want to be honest.</p>
<p>Also - from February thorough the end of April, for the new recruits to a sorority, the time commitment is huge.</p>
<p>My D is finishing first year. Her best friends rushed but my D could not because she couldn’t spend the time. While not being able to rush definitely upset my D, she knew her grades had to improve. Fortunately they have and if you asked her she’d say there is no other school that she would rather be in than UD. She does see less of her best friends because being in a sorority is a big time commitment. And, she has seen first hand what that big time commitment has done to her friends’ grades. They have declined. She said she thinks Greek life involves closer to 25% of the students and it is only increasing. Nonetheless, my kid is proof that you can truly love the school and not be involved in Greek life even though your best friends are.</p>
<p>While it certainly is true that many (but not all) freshman experience a decrease it their grades in their second semester while they are pledging (it takes up a lot of time) ultimately you will find that the overall average GPA for students at UD in sororities/fraternities is higher than their non-greek counterparts. Obviously this would vary by the individual student. You have to have a GPA of at least 2.5 to even be eligible to pledge to begin with. As of the end of the spring semester in 2012 there were a little over 3,200 students in Greek life at UD (about 20% of the student body). The numbers might be a little higher this year. So close to 80% of UD students are not involved with Greek Life. There are so many social/athletic/academic activities available at UD that non-greek students should never get bored unless they choose not to avail themselves of these opportunities. While our D was in a sorority when she was at UD some of her best-friends there were not in Greek life, and these friendships have continued to persist even post graduation.</p>
<p>As an alum, I am mystified by the there werent enough spaces comments. On just about every campus but Indianas, the number of open spots equals the number of women participating in recruitment divided by the number of sororities. If there are 350 women going through, and ten sororities, each sorority gets thirty five new members. Its set up so there CAN be a place for everyone. Ive seen a lot of women drop out when they didnt get the invitations back that they wanted, but rarely ones that all houses released. I say this knowing I would have had no hesitation about dropping out if the choice I had left didnt appeal to me. As it was I accepted a bid from a house that I thought was beneath me, and ended up loving it. Another note: many groups do Continuous Open Bidding. They invite interested women over for dinner or to a philanthropy day, get to know them, and offer bids to fill spaces vacated by December grads or transfers. The catch: these are often the groups that women say they hadnt clicked with during regular recruitment: theyre the ones with the open spots.</p>
<p>sheeptipper - I understand what you are saying that many girls willingly drop out. This was not what I meant by “not enough spaces.” In fact, there are not enough available spots to begin with, regardless of a girl’s specific choice. Yes, the number of girls entering the process diminishes “willingly”, however, there are not enough spots even if every girl was willing to accept a bid in a sorority “beneath” her.</p>
<p>My D, a junior in a sorority had her heart set on one or two specific sororities during rush and was very upset as she got “dropped” by the ones she wanted. Ended up with a bid from a sorority that she initially had zero interest in yet she still pledged and I can speak for her and say it truly was the best decision of her life. It’s enriched her college experience tenfold. As she’s held leadership positions, I’ve seen her grow in different ways that without her involvement in her sorority I’m not sure we’d have seen. Greek life is not for everyone, but it’s worked out well for her.</p>
<p>Curious what the typical costs are to be a member of a sorority at UDel. Are membership fees published anywhere before the rush process starts? Do membership fees and other costs vary by sorority? Appreciate insights from those familiar with the process. Thanks!</p>
<p>Penmom2:
our D was in a sorority while she was at UD from 2006-2010. I don’t recall if there was a published list of sorority costs available prior to the Rush period. However, costs do vary by sorority. The sorority our D attended had its own sorority house. Members were required to stay at the house for at least one year while they were at UD. Our D stayed in the house her sophomore year (it was in a great location one block from Trabant on South College Ave.). She paid for room/board at the house with the cost being comparable to what a student would have to pay if they stayed in on-campus housing and got a primary dining plan. Her dinner meals were prepared by a chef and she ate at the house. In addition to this she had to pay dues/fees for the sorority of around $750-$800 per year every year (I would presume it probably is more now) she was at UD. So it is not cheap to be a sorority member at UD (at least in our D’s sorority). There were also some additional costs (formals, special events) which I imagine would also vary by sorority. Hope this info is helpful.</p>
<p>crobinpa - My D is a Freshman at UD this year and considering rushing next semester. I appreciate the candor you shared about your daughter’s experience and I certainly intend to discuss her experience with my D. I am also curious as to whether you addressed any of your concerns about your daughter’s experience with UD administration. If yes, what was their response? And how is your daughter doing now? Did she elect to stay at UD?</p>
<p>The fees associated with Greek life are available. Your D will get all the information at an “informational meeting” when rush starts. There are additional expenses for events (optional). And mandatory “fines” if your D misses certain events that are “compulsory”. As a sophomore there is quite a big expense when she becomes a “big” sister and showers her “little” sister with gifts (tshirts, treats, cupcakes, etc.) nightly for a week!</p>
<p>for the new group getting ready to rush my one piece of advice is to really look inside yourself and and know the type of person you are. Not the type of person you think you want to become. There are many great sororities and don’t try and pledge the “popular” one because you think you want to be one of “them”. Chances are if you are not a match for them you will be rejected and it can cause a downward spiral from there., (as crobinpa stated with her daughter) Most of the issues are with pledging a group that really is not “you”. Perhaps your friends are pledging so you do as well… etc. My D ended up pledging a professional (dry) sorority as she did not want to be told to be at xyz party or else… etc… She did what worked for her. She knows her sorority is low on the food chain in terms of popularity but it’s perfect for her and she loves it. I advise the girls to really carefully look over each sorority with an open mind before chosing one to rush. Ask themselves the tough questions and look inside to find what truly fits “them”. Not what others are doing or what the perception of each group is to the outside.</p>