<p>Why do you need to “mediate and calm them down”? If they want to stew, let them. It only reflects poorly on them.</p>
<p>CC is the ONLY place you should brag because you are anonymous here. Otherwise, dial it back with everyone, including family. If you could hear what they are saying behind your back, or worse, what they are thinking but not saying, you would not want to be you.</p>
<p>So brag away here (I’ve been guilty many times) but everywhere else, talk about politics or the weather.</p>
<p>Dang, has it been hot lately–that thermometer is almost as high as my daughter’s SAT score! OOPS…</p>
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<p>Because they were in close proximity/same house as the niece and she doesn’t deserve to have her parade rained upon by them considering she wasn’t even the one who broke the news. Especially considering the ones stewing are much older and thus…should know better.</p>
<p>The people who love you…or even really like you…will be happy for your daughter’s success. Who cares what anyone else thinks? </p>
<p>I am with the others about answering when you are asked but not volunteering.</p>
<p>Best wishes to your daughter, alcibiade.</p>
<p>I agree, mass mom. Your daughter is going to a fabulous school btw :-)</p>
<p>I would be so hurt and sad if a family member or friend felt that they couldn’t share good news with me. I hope never to be that person.</p>
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<p>Agreed. I shared in my niece’s and her immediate family’s joy and am in the process of making plans sometime in the next few weeks to show them a good time around NYC/Boston before she goes off for orientation/starting her school year.</p>
<p>Ok…I am ready to be piled on.</p>
<p>This “question” comes up every year. CC is a great place to obsess and brag…there is an entire thread dedicated to it and I have taken advantage of it myself. BUT… Do people REALLY not know how to behave in a polite fashion with friends and family members? Who needs a “strategy” or advice on how to shut up? Do parents who confess that they obsess and brag not know how to hold it in? Or is this in fact yet another opportunity to obsess and brag? </p>
<p>Sorry…have at it.</p>
<p>The OP, musicamusica, is a new poster, so she may not have yet developed our skills in searching threads. ;)</p>
<p>[Docter</a> Evil tells scott to Zip it - YouTube](<a href=“Docter Evil tells scott to Zip it - YouTube”>Docter Evil tells scott to Zip it - YouTube)</p>
<p>A helpful tutorial if the OP still needs a strategy.</p>
<p>Congratulations, to you and your daughter, OP! Hope she has a fantastic experience!</p>
<p>I agree with the grandparents rule and being particularly careful around other parents, even (especially?) if those parents are your siblings/siblings in law. That said, I think you’ll find it easier to contain yourself over time, once the novelty/excitement wears off and the reality that it’s just another college and there really ARE downsides sets in. And, it can be kind of embarrassing to feel like a name dropper when someone does ask where your kid goes to school – wait, did somebody say this thread was an excuse to brag? :D</p>
<p>I believe I grew up in a different environment than most on here, with a much smaller portion of parents being especially concerned with going to a selective college, so my experiences may differ. That said, the vast majority of people I knew appeared to happy for, rather than jealous of. The only time I can recall other parents or relatives having a negative response relates to wondering why I’d go to college so far away instead of choosing one of the ~3 local schools, in a 25 mile radius from home. </p>
<p>There are also many ways to state which college your daughter is going to without appearing to brag or making it a competition between their kids. This includes things like focusing on the school, rather than the acceptance, and being careful about what is volunteered and asked in response. For example, </p>
<p>Bad – My child was accepted to Stanford, MIT, Brown and Cornell. Stanford was her first choice, and she has accomplished so much. We stand in awe. At which colleges was your child accepted?</p>
<p>Good – She is going to Stanford. I think it’s a good fit for her, with her interest in engineering and entrepreneurship, and that she’ll be happy there. We are going to miss her while she is away.</p>
<p>I just want to add that I think being low key with your child is also important. Too many kids think the achievement is in getting in. The real point is the experience once there, which will be both difficult and rewarding, if all goes well. Once there, admission is no big deal because, of course, every student there got in.</p>
<p>And those who go to state schools or wherever may be just as smart and talented. Elite schools breed the idea that there is a hierarchy of value among human beings, and being too enthusiastic about admission may even play into that.</p>
<p>You mention that noone in your family has ever achieved such a thing. I don’t mean to offend, and I can see that you are a great parent who cares a lot, but try not to make this about your family. If your daughter wants to gush, that’s one thing (but she would be smart not to). </p>
<p>Many people who go to Harvard try to hide the fact. As in “I go to school in Boston.” Admitting you go there is putting a target on your back, unless you are talking with someone in a small group who belong to that club, so to speak. Cambridge is very well-known also, so maybe the issues are the same.</p>
<p>Thousands of people get into Cambridge every year.nobody cares to hear your bragging.</p>
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<p>Now those are two sweet boys!</p>
<p>Well the friend is. Since he isn’t my kid, I will brag on him. His dad abandoned the family and the boy has stepped up to help his mom with his younger brother who is handicapped. As well as being a varsity athlete and having straight A grades in a rigorous program and being the nicest, most responsible kid anyone could want. It is just a shame he always has to be. It would be nice if a little of his responsibility would rub off on my flaky guy.</p>
<p>OP, congratulations! I am very happy for your daughter. Not because of the prestige but because it is something that your daughter wanted and it worked out for her.</p>
<p>I was at a dinner tonight in which someone had to coax out of someone else that the second person’s son had been asked by his college (one of the uber-ones on CC) to apply for a Rhodes scholarship. When asked why she hadn’t said anything, she (the mother) said - it’s not my style. Very classy.</p>
<p>However, someone already knew about it to be able to coax it out of her. Maybe having to have something coaxed out of her is the most fun way to spill the beans!</p>
<p>It was another family member, who can be a braggart, who did the coaxing.</p>
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<p>Frankly, I would be worried too. Virtually every parent you know is proud of his or her child. Your dreams, and your daughter’s, are not everyone else’s. And even if you knew several people whose kids were rejected by the same schools your daughter got into, those parents now would be justifiably proud of their kids for handling the rejection with grace and resolving to make the best of whatever situation they now find themselves in. </p>
<p>I don’t think there is a problem to be solved here. Your daughter is the center of your universe. Other people’s kids are the center of theirs. Now that your daughter has cleared this hurdle (with a lot of support and even “pushing” from you, from what you have said), you can turn your attention to helping her succeed on her own once she gets to college. That in itself can be a difficult transition for kids who have worked relentlessly toward a goal for years. Best of luck to both of you.</p>