<p>Jonri, I’m cutting you slack. You have a bond from your mutual good news, so long ago. You didn’t know.</p>
<p>I went back and read the first post and am not offended. I think OP just threw in many of the words that applied. We’ve all had those moments when we’re overwhelmed. </p>
<p>I get cobrat’s point. My older first-gen relatives believed you tempted the devil when you bragged. They had some interesting little folkloric routines to counteract. (No, it didn’t stop them, but they kept warning my generation.)</p>
<p>My family’s perspective on this wasn’t religiously/spiritually based. It was more of a mix of “don’t be a sore winner*” on the part of the one/one’s parent with great bragworthy type news and a feeling that the true milestone was when a given child is walking at graduation and has the degree in hand, not receiving admission to a given institution.</p>
<ul>
<li>The phrase “Don’t be a sore winner” was a common admonition bandied about among older relatives towards their own kids and to the rest of us.</li>
</ul>
<p>Oh, viewer, I am sorry for your recent news. Virtual hugs to you. </p>
<p>Our S13 was accepted to his first choice. We feel lucky and grateful. I do not mention where he is going unless asked, and then try to redirect quickly to focus on some good thing in the asker’s life. Most people are happy when they hear his news; some are not. Oh well. It has taken a few good friends who have '13ers who did not get into their first choice several minutes to regroup and realize that they should at least be acting happy about our news. I have pretended not to notice in this situation and that has helped. Sometimes, people will be happy for you, but need a moment to be a little sorry for themselves first.</p>
<p>Viewer - I can definitely relate. I went through two bouts of Stage 3 cancer in 1999 and 2002 and I thought I had it licked when it reappeared in Fall, 2007 as Stage 4. I found out just about the time my son was applying to colleges. I was in middle of my month-long hospital stay when he found out that he had been *rejected<a href=“not%20deferred”>/I</a> by Yale SCEA. Bummer! I wasn’t in much of a position to help until late Winter, early Spring 2008, when he had some music auditions and scholarship interviews that I could go with him on.</p>
<p>He was accepted to Harvard at the end of March, 2008, and other than letting family and a few friends know we didn’t actively bring up the subject. If someone asked where he was going, we said Harvard. We didn’t say “Boston” or “a small school in Cambridge”. They asked and if they couldn’t handle the answer, they shouldn’t ask. I still will drop the “H-Bomb” if someone asks where he graduated. I think it’s silly to worry about what the other person thinks, but then I am not very PC. A lot wanted to know how we could afford Harvard (presumably because of my illness), but we just explained that Harvard had a wonderful FA policy (and we didn’t call it a scholarship) and (for us) it would be cheaper than attending BSU, the local/regional default.</p>
<p>By the time he was ready to move to Harvard, I had finished my chemo and I was determined to be there. I hope you can too! If not, then Parents Weekend is only a couple months later. Enjoy it for your son.</p>
<p>I was never part of a cancer support group, although I know a lot of people who are. It’s just not my style. But, I have no hesitancy about talking about it with anyone who asks. I want them to know that they don’t have to dance around the subject. FWIW, I believe that a positive attitude and a belief that your doctors are doing the right thing can go a long way to improving your chances. Best of luck, and again, enjoy your son’s time at Harvard.</p>
<p>Wow, Hat, very similar situations. No, I’m not letting this latest setback get in the way of move-in day. I was diagnosed in 2007 and this is my third kid (and last) going off to college. Even with all my treatment, surgeries, chemo, etc I’ve missed very little of the important days in their lives and I hope that continues for a good, long time. </p>
<p>I hope you’re doing alright now. Thanks for the good wishes. All the best to you, too.</p>
<p>Viewer, I missed that you were in Mass. That makes visits a lot easier. We are in Western Flyover Country and it is a hike to Mass. My wife was jealous of someone who lived in DC.</p>