<p>My son applied to the university of Miami just to party. He doesn't even like hot weather or the beach. He just heard the girls go to class in bikinis. He has the grades and scores to get in and he applied EA, but I only sent his worse ACT score.
Has anyone heard of a parent calling admissions and begging them to reject their kid. I know that this school is not the right fit for him and he's already been accepted to a school where I think he and we would be happy for him to attend. </p>
<p>I can't be the only parent who has experienced this and I'm hoping to hear that a call is ok.</p>
<p>Seriously??? If you are actually serious, may I suggest to you that you man up (or woman up) and parent the kid yourself, instead of expecting someone else to do the dirty work for you. If you don’t want to pay for Miami, then tell the kid you won’t pay for Miami.</p>
<p>Re-read the original post, and there is so much more to address than just the “I don’t want him to go there” part. Please stop trying to orchestrate your kid’s life.</p>
<p>I’m actually not a ■■■■■ but a parent. My daughter who is now a college junior used this acct when she was going thru this process. Kelsmom I did tell my son that I won’t pay for miami but he still applied. My husband and I worked very hard to earn and save his tuition money (we will be full pay…no fin aid) and I don’t want to pay for a 4 year party.</p>
<p>If you don’t trust your kid (or even if you do), you can do what some other parents have done and write out a contract with your kiddo. You will only LOAN $_____ toward each term of his school. In return, he must earn ____ credits toward his degree and get at least a GPA of ____. If he fulfills his end of the deal, you will forgive his loan each term until he graduates (or whatever terms you want).</p>
<p>Kids CAN attend schools with gorgeous classmates, even schools known as party schools and still get great grades and degrees.</p>
<p>FWIW, I did go to our credit union and convinced them NOT to give us a mortgage loan (we couldn’t afford it). It was an odd situation, as they REALLY wanted to give us the loan and I kept telling them there was no way we could make the monthly payments. The finally agreed to decline to give us the mortgage & this was decades BEFORE the toxic mortgage crisis. That was the closest I came to asking NOT to get what we applied for. We later found a realtor who did what we wanted and needed, bought the house we are still living in today with a mortgage from the credit union (after selling some assets with equity but negative cash flow). ;)</p>
<p>OP: Just get your own CC account if you don’t want to appear as a ■■■■■. It’s easy to get one.</p>
<p>On top of the appearance of being a ■■■■■ because of using someone else’s account, your question is an odd one to come from an actual parent (which is why you appeared to be a ■■■■■ to me in the first place). Of course you shouldn’t undermine your own kid in this way. If I was on the receiving end of a parent calling for this purpose I’d redirect you to talk to your kid. If you do this (even though I doubt the college will take any action as a result of your call) you’re just putting another wedge in any kind of trust relationship you might have with the kid.</p>
<p>If the son can somehow pay for college himself then he s/b able to go where he wants. If you’re paying for it and refuse to consider this college for whatever reason simply tell him you won’t pay for it and he won’t be able to go but at least you’ll be up front with him and not trying sneak behind his back to sabotage him. </p>
<p>Then there’s the other approach - you might want to consider that possibly not every student who goes to that college is a ‘partier’ exclusively and that some of them might actually get an education. Good luck finding a college where he can’t party if that’s his goal.</p>
<p>If he earned the admission, you should not sabotage it for him. That said, it does not mean that you should not be concerned, or that you should pay for a party attitude. Does the school offer his intended major? Will he get scholarships? How does it compare price wise to the other colleges he is applying to? You are under no obligation to pay for his schooling, but if you are going to pay for one school and not this one, he may resent you for it. You certainly can put perimeters on his attendance to said school by making it clear that you will cut financial assistance based on his performance or you will only pay up to what you would have for other universities that are a better value/fit. This way you are respecting his decision but making him accountable for it.</p>
<p>I am rolling on the floor imagining this phone conversation in my mind:</p>
<p>“Hello, I am Billy’s parent. He sent in an application that I want you to ignore and just outright reject him.”</p>
<p>“So, you want us to abandon the integrity of our process and make a farce of our admissions decisions because you have communication issues with someone that you claim is your son?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I believe your University would be a bad influence on him. I prefer that he goes to a better school.”</p>
<p>“OK. We would gladly open ourselves to lawsuits based on an unverified phone call from someone who insults our institution.” Click.</p>
<p>Cormom and others, all you’ve said is why I haven’t picked up the phone. I’m an italian mom who is anxious about him going to a college for all the wrong reasons, and one that’s so far away. To be fair, he did apply ED to a school I love but I’m afraid that if he gets in and has to pull his miami app he’ll always wonder what if. Btw, I think miami is a great school, just not for him.</p>
<p>Has he even visited Univ. of Miami? I did, and left asking, “This is Florida?”. Seriously, I was not impressed with the atmosphere. Other than ugly hurricane shutters on the dorm windows, the school could be anywhere. Now, academics, is another issue.</p>
<p>My S is a freshman at an excellent beach school that unfortunately has a well-known and well-earned party reputation. I was not thrilled with his choice because he was accepted to higher ranked schools and schools that gave him significant merit money. He is at least in the Honors program, which was a critical factor for him and took away a bit of my pain. He went there because he loved everything about the school, including the pretty girls! Ultimately, it was his choice. I would NEVER have sabotaged him. Even sending in the lowest scores is, in my opinion, underhanded and wrong, esp. if with your S’s higher scores he might get merit money.
My S is incredibly happy with his choice, LOVES his school, and is getting straight As. So long as your son attends and does well in class, does it matter what (or who, or the multiple pretty girls) gets him there?</p>
<p>if you raised your son to be a good student…and I am assuming you have because University of Miami is a good and selective school and he apparently has the academics to apply…then he should just SHINE in a school where everyone else is all partied out. It should work to his advantage.</p>
<p>I can’t even begin to contemplate the harm to your long term permanent relationship with your son you could do by doing something so underhanded.</p>
<p>^^#18 Agree. It would be mean to call It was already bad enough you sent the worse ACT score. If you have a party-at-all-costs kid, he will find a party whereever he goes to college. If you have a kid who has a good head on his shoulders and a sense of moderation, I don’t think you have to worry.</p>
<p>OP: To my mind a bizarre question and my first thought was ■■■■■ as well.</p>
<p>I would not want to be your child. I think transparency is important in human relationships. </p>
<p>It’s better that your son attend the “wrong school” than you treat him in this manner and damage your relationship. One situation can be fixed; the other can’t.</p>
<p>Many of our children make decisions we don’t agree with, just as I made decisions my parents didn’t agree with. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don’t. The ones that definitely don’t work out are the ones the parents manipulated.</p>
<p>Give him your reasons and listen when he gives you his.</p>
<p>I am not sure of the financial considerations, but money aside, University of Miami is a really good school where a lot could be learned.</p>