While I was home I went on a date with a boy and Wes had a great time, we had snap chatted for almost four months prior so we knew a little about each other. He wasn’t very respectful about kissing and everything since he knew it was my first kiss and didn’t want to pressure me into it. He’s now suggested he comes down on a Monday night and stays until Tuesday. I’m mostly okay with this but I feel some apprehensiveness. What would you do in this situation?
Suggest a day trip, he comes in the morning and leaves at night.
“He wasn’t very respectful about kissing and everything since he knew it was my first kiss and didn’t want to pressure me into it.”
He wasn’t very respectful or he was? Your statement in the whole is unclear.
How old are you? College or high school?
How did you meet?
Not enough info here to give advice, IMO.
In general and in particular based on your background, I agree with taking it slow and having him come for a day trip, where he leaves that night.
@creativedesigner I agree with a day trip first. Then make your boundaries very clear. If he pressures you, he’s not worth your time.
If you’re asking here, it’s because you already know that it’s not something you want right now. If he doesn’t understand then it’s time to move on because who wants to start a relationship like this?
If you’re in college you’re an adult and it’s your decision.
From other threads, it appears that the OP is a college student.
I initially read this as some sort of subterfuge to avoid the RA. I’d say no to that.
If you’re new to this game I’d also have a short conversation with your roommate about having a guy guest on a school night when her morning might start a little earlier and he’s harder to get rid of or work around.
Based on your prior thread, I encourage you to seek counseling.
It would be best if you did not allow your boyfriend to sleep over until you get counseling & share your history, or at least your fears & their foundation, before getting intimate with him.
Do you have male friends he could crash with? Let him know ahead of time that this is your plan.
Why would a boy sleepover as a female? Is this to get past security?
OP has past trauma and is a young college student, seeking guidance.
I would first decide what my boundaries are. Are you romantically interested in this person? Just want to be friends? See some potential for romance?
Then given that, what do you want to happen possibly romantically?
So if this is will only ever be a friend situation:
“Yes, would love to have you visit…but to be clear this is only as friends. My friend Bob says you can stay in his room.”
If this is a lets see where things are going but I don’t want to have sex:
"“Yes, would love to have you visit… My friend Bob says you can stay in his room.”
If you are more romantically oriented you could have them stay in your room on a inflatable bed or share your bed.
But i think you need to figure out what you want before you say anything.