<p>I must admit that I am probably a helicopter parent with one of my two children (the other one likes to do everything himself). My daughter is going to be a Freshman at a prestigious, private university which we chose partly because it is known to be "nurturing" and everyone has many advisors, etc. She is also planning to do 3 or more majors - she's in the business school, but has a lot of AP credits and also wants to do education and Spanish which go together. She can get all 3 done pretty easily if she manages her schedule well.</p>
<p>She went to a summer program at her college for 5 weeks, during which time I ended up speaking to the business advisor about 3 times, the Romance language department a couple of times and the Education department a couple of times. She came home and her schedule is still really messed up - she doesn't have one required course and is waitlisted for another course that she doesn't need - she basically only has 4 courses instead of 5. </p>
<p>No one at the school seemed to mind that I was butting in - I think they appreciated that I was doing what they were supposed to be doing, but it seems like unless I actually do the schedule it's not going to get done. Have other people had this situation? She said the business advisor was watching a baseball game and seemed to want to get rid of her.</p>
<p>Why can't your daughter manage this just as well as you can? You'd make a second call.... she'd make a second call.... Surely you don't have access to the actual computers to input the schedule?</p>
<p>I think you'll find that even the most "prestigious, private university..."nurturing" and everyone has many advisors" will still expect your student to advocate and plan for herself. </p>
<p>No one starting out with 3 majors can have a perfect schedule, not now or later. Even with one major, freshmen often end up closed out of desired courses. So unless you plan on taking care of her schedule for the next 5 years, it's time to let it go. It will feel good once you do ! :)</p>
<p>With 3 majors, I can understand the anxiety that perhaps an important required class might be missed - but this is her first semester. Can't she take some other class of interest to her, and do the requirement next semester or next year? If this LAC has a nurturing reputation, the advising system is probably pretty good.</p>
<p>My suggestion would be for your d to sketch out the classes she needs over the next 2 years by semester and see where there's some wiggle room. There ought to be a little! She may even change her mind about her majors (so many students do), in which case it's really not that crucial to nail that required class this semester.</p>
<p>In any case, I do think your d would benefit from managing this on her own at this point. It might help her to establish that more nurturing relationship with the advisor(s).</p>
<p>
[quote]
She said the business advisor was watching a baseball game and seemed to want to get rid of her.
[/quote]
did she make an appointment to meet with the advisor or did she barge in while the advisor was watching a baseball game? </p>
<p>It's incredibly difficult to plan for 3 majors if they all have prerequisites.</p>
<p>If your D has a course catalog available either online or in hard copy, she needs to make up a schedule of courses she would like/needs to take, bearing in mind overall requirements for her majors and gen ed distribution requirements if she has any, and scheduling issues. Sometimes, catalogs state whether specific courses will be offered the following year, making it possible for students to plan their courses for a two year period at least. She should plan accordingly.
Once she has drawn up a draft schedule of courses, she can bring it for her advisors to look over and tell her whether she is on the right track. Don't expect them to sit down with her and pore over the hundreds of courses in the catalog and help her select which 4 or 5 she should be taking next semester. Don't expect advisors in one major to be familiar with the requirements in another major--that's her job to reconcile the demands of the various majors she is interested in.
And unless there is a crisis, you should not be contacting the profs or deans on her behalf. That, too, is her job.</p>
<p>I think it's better if you do your helicoptering from a more stationary position.</p>
<p>What I mean is, if this daughter needs monitoring, you work with her to figure out whom to call, what to say in those calls, etc., but she should be the one to make the actual contacts. </p>
<p>It's a sort of a halfway approach to independence. Eventually, she should be able to do the figuring out part as well as the calling part.</p>
<p>I do have the personality to be a helicopter mom....however daughters would DIE if I did. Early in their education, I tried to circumvent every problem that arose. Amazingly, they wanted to do things on their own and have me step in only when all alternatives were exhausted. Concur with frazzled.....your daughter will develope a better relationship with advisor(s) if SHE is handling her problem.</p>
<p>I agree with the other posters. I'd talk with D and find out what she's doing to get this resolved; she's the person to work on.</p>
<p>I understand and commiserate with you, though. It is hard to have a third party (daughter) put in the middle of a situation when you feel like it would be easier solved if you could go directly to the source. She's going to be better off in the long run dealing with it herself, though. Trust me, if she gets this problem solved, the next problem and the problem after that will be a piece of cake.</p>
<p>I told a story on another thread of my younger sons "woes" when he went up for preview and ended up with the world's crappiest schedule (ex: chem labs on friday nights that don't end until 10 PM). He held his ground, much to the irritation of the advisor who wanted him out of there, and managed to finagle his schedule around until he got in a lab at a more "sane" time. Going through that experience was a good thing for him.</p>
<p>Does your D's school allow them access to drop add through their personal computers?</p>
<p>Doubleplay, good post except I would say the OP is the third party....how can daughter be third when it's HER schedule?</p>
<p>And in all honestly.....is a triple major truly in her realm if she has trouble even scheduling her classes? Not trying to offend; just being realistic.</p>
<p>I wonder sometimes why so many kids today feel they need triple majors. Why not just take the English or Spanish courses you like and not be forced to take the ones required by the major?</p>
<p>You've mentioned that you've spoken with D's business advisor and "the Romance language department ... and the Education department", I'm wondering if it might be better for daughter to contact the registrar's office directly since the departments themselves probably don't handle enrollment? If D is missing a clas because it was already closed out by upper classmen before D signed up (perhaps a higher level spanish class, or higher level class because she has AP credit that freshmen don't usually register for?), it might be as simple as being put on a wait list and having D speak with the professor on the first day of classes.</p>
<p>I have to agree with mathmom - what ever happened to minors? That being said, I completely understand the OPs desire to help...I'm a little bit of a 'helper' myself and I have to restrain myself (which I DO! :)) It's okay to advise your d, sit with her and come up with a plan, give her suggestions regarding which professors or counselors to speak to...but really encourage her to be the one to implement the plan or speak to faculty.</p>
<p>That being said, I do confess to helping my d one time. She was 'staking out' a class that she needed and for which she was waitlisted, was in the middle of studying for exams and was physically on her way to a review...and she called me at home and asked me to monitor the availability for that class while she was away from the computer...and add her if it opened up. Which I did, from Houston. I admit it....I did it. ;)</p>
<p>What you can do to help your D is to talk through the requirements as well as the schedules of each course she is interested in. What kind of assignments do they have cumulatively? Would she end up having to read 1,000+ pages per week, write 4 response papers, have 15 page-papers all due within the same couple of days? Would she have lots of classes the day before assignments fall due every week? Would she have weekly problem sets all due on the same day on top of heavy reading lists?
Help her draw up a spreadsheet, listing meeting times, due dates for homework assignments, exams, papers, and other pertinent information.
In other words, you can discuss with your D what a sensible set of courses would look like. She may end up not wanting to do 3 majors after all. It is far better to do well in one major than to do poorly in 3.</p>
<p>"Which I did, from Houston. I admit it....I did it."</p>
<p>That doesn't count. If a friend or some other competent adult asked you to assist them in that small way, you'd probably do it, too. You afforded a courtesy, nothing more. Now, if you had camped out on the professor's doorstep . . .</p>
<p>I'm not sure I really even understand the OP's question: What "required" courses? Most colleges offer a good deal of flexibility regarding course requirements, and few freshman, even with the same majors, have schedules remotely resembling one another.</p>
<p>Does this school have a course shopping period (add/drop period during the first week or two?)? Often kids get into closed courses by persistence during the initial week or two.</p>
<p>College should be a time for intellectual exploration, IMHO. Few kids starting out even know what the choices are that are before them, whether for courses or for careers.</p>
<p>IMHO, suggesting that the kid major in Business, work on fluency in Spanish, and minoring in ED is a great way to try and transition the kid towards more independence/less need for helicoptering. The most organized kid in the world would get flummoxed trying to triple major- and the presence of lots of AP credits don't help at many U's, where they'll eliminate the survey course (which tends to have lots of seats and are easy to register for....) and propel the kid into the seminars which tend to close out at 18 or 20 students.</p>
<p>If it were my kid I'd try to be helpful by asking the kinds of questions we ask colleagues at work, "did you consider," or "tell me what other options were on the table" or "can you explain to me why X is preferable to Y" to try and help problem solve, rather than taking on the role of scheduler and admin assistant. Imagine how much work Mom is in for once it's time to write a senior thesis for three majors! Better to help the kid identify the objectives, the barriers, and the logistical hurdles, than to temporarily step in, solve the problem, only to create and even bigger hassle next semester.</p>
<p>Mathmom makes a good point in Post #10. I think there is way too much double and triple majoring.</p>
<p>My son has a double major and double minors - and I think it is TOO much. It has eliminated the possibility of a semester abroad, and will entail him picking up a summer course somewhere along the way here, and has made scheduling tough for him. I just don't like it - but it's not my problem I guess (and I've told him we only pay for 4 years!).</p>
<p>I was just thinking that the other reason it's good to let your kid deal with their own registration headaches is that they learn the system - and we all know the squeeky wheel gets the grease when it comes to getting the schedule they want. (But the mom squeaking might have the opposite effect!) </p>
<p>Son #2 found a critical class already booked for his freshman registration, but he really wanted in and managed to figure out how to get in (emailed the prof and his advisor) - and for a kid that cn be terribly laid back (OK, lazy) I was pretty proud of him! This is the same son who I insisted that he go to the preview event just to make sure he got his registration done. I didn't trust that he'd Get around to doing it at home online!</p>