Help me with my son?

<p>Hello, I am currently a father with a 15 year old son, in 10th grade. To provide some background: I was focusing on my graduate studies when my wife gave birth to my son. He was then raised by his grandparents until age 5, when we took care of him. I think this was one of the biggest mistakes I've made, because my son can't have any courage to even call me a 'dad'; he's been so distant toward us for a very long time. I guess he's used to it now, that this habit can't be changed.
My job wasn't very stable at the time, and thus, we had to move to other states every few years because I needed to find work. During this time, my wife and I began to be very separate, me living in a suburban area in Colorado, while she worked in New York City. I wouldn't call it divorce, but it feels very much like one; we just didn't want to officially acknowledge it, or else others would know.
Since then, my son was either in my custody or hers, for years. This probably also affected my son, considering the lack of having parents together, as well as being an only child. By 3rd grade, my son permanently lived with me. Because of long hours of work, my son was usually home alone for about 4 hours a day. During this time, I could find him playing on the computer, watching television, etc. But then this got worse; he began to befriend children within the area who were, I guess what you call 'social misfits'. Indeed, my son began riding his bike, carrying metal rods, as if wanting to attack someone. By 4th grade, he could ride his bike for over 5 miles to go to distant places that I did not know of, which I didn't find out until 6th grade. However, somehow, and I'm very glad for this, that he changed his attitude only in 8th grade; he became very avid at Chess and mathematics, taking the school's Calculus AB at 8th grade. Before that, he would get 'C' grades, and play games everyday. </p>

<p>By 9th grade, I had to move from the suburban area of Colorado to San Diego, to find work again. However, this became a severe problem for my son. He says he keeps feeling depression, even up to now. He refuses (or I didn't ask him about it) to tell me why, but I believe that because he felt that anyone could change for the better, he didn't believe in the cult of smartness, genius etc. This was why he made the goal of making USA(J)MO or whatever, and now he sets the goal of making something called 'MOSP' after completing that goal. However, I understand that since San Diego is bound to have many wealthy folk, with more mean attitudes, this can attack his 'values', as he calls them very much. He feels that he cannot relate to any of the other people here (from his massive change of mind), which is leading him to be very anti-social and depressed because of this lonliness. This has been affecting his mind and actions, such as a severe memory drain, which has also been affecting his GPA, etc.</p>

<p>I don't know how to handle him, because he's had a very different life from the others. I don't want his whole high school career, much less his life, to be severely drained just from living here.</p>

<p>Can you and your son get some counseling? I know it is not a panacea, but it seems that you and he need to connect better and may need assistance with this. He may need some help understanding his past, making sense of it. You also need support in parenting a child who may have emotional challenges. Is he still in touch with his grandparents; was he close to them? What is his relationship like with his mother? When you describe his early childhood, it reads like a series of losses for a young child, though that is not what you and your wife intended. Can he be helped to stay in touch with those other people in his life, as well as with friends in Colorado? To help defray his sense of lack of connectedness, anomie?</p>

<p>What does he like to do? Are there any interests that you share? Can he be helped to find groups sharing the interests he began to explore in your last home (e.g., chess) or others newer pursuits that strike his fancy? It seems more critical to begin to repair your relationship and possibly his sense of self than focusing primarily on grades or preparation for college (not saying ignore these, though). Is there any type of volunteer work that you both could do together, such as Habitat for Humanity building, working with animals, joining a community garden… or that he could do on his own, without you. I’m suggesting with you first, if he and you are open to it, as a way to develop a more meaningful connection. Volunteer work can also be a great way to feel part of something larger than oneself. Service toward others also can put in perspective one’s own worries, can help young people feel part of something real rather than a vacuous peer group, and the like.</p>

<p>I wish you the best; find some way to let your son know every day that you love him. Hang in there!</p>

<p>I agree with mamita’s excellent advice. First, find a counselor or therapist who can help you and your son communicate better. If your son does not want to go to counseling, go by yourself as you deserve support too. Best of luck to you and your son.</p>

<p>It seems like the lines of communication are still at least somewhat open, that is good. His school may have advice as to family counseling, that would certainly be helpful. If you have health insurance, they probably have services as well.<br>
I wouldn’t worry too much about college, one of the wonderful things about California is the excellent community college system if your son needs a little more time to be ready for a four year college. For now, I’d focus on getting him through high school.
As for your relationship, are there any activities that you and he like to do together or that you can find to do together? He seems like quite a biker and San Diego is beautiful, how about going on some bike rides/picnics or even getting into competitive cycling?<br>
While your son’s life may not have been the easiest with all the moves and transitions, at least you, your wife, and your in-laws have always loved him and he has always had a home, which is more than a lot of kids have. Even though you clearly have regrets, you should also be proud that he has actually in some ways had MORE support than some children of single parents, especially if there are a lot of kids and a parent who has to work constantly without support from the other parent or extended family. In the end, we can all only do our best, so don’t beat yourself up. Good luck to you and your son.</p>