<p>Hello, I am currently a father with a 15 year old son, in 10th grade. To provide some background: I was focusing on my graduate studies when my wife gave birth to my son. He was then raised by his grandparents until age 5, when we took care of him. I think this was one of the biggest mistakes I've made, because my son can't have any courage to even call me a 'dad'; he's been so distant toward us for a very long time. I guess he's used to it now, that this habit can't be changed.
My job wasn't very stable at the time, and thus, we had to move to other states every few years because I needed to find work. During this time, my wife and I began to be very separate, me living in a suburban area in Colorado, while she worked in New York City. I wouldn't call it divorce, but it feels very much like one; we just didn't want to officially acknowledge it, or else others would know.
Since then, my son was either in my custody or hers, for years. This probably also affected my son, considering the lack of having parents together, as well as being an only child. By 3rd grade, my son permanently lived with me. Because of long hours of work, my son was usually home alone for about 4 hours a day. During this time, I could find him playing on the computer, watching television, etc. But then this got worse; he began to befriend children within the area who were, I guess what you call 'social misfits'. Indeed, my son began riding his bike, carrying metal rods, as if wanting to attack someone. By 4th grade, he could ride his bike for over 5 miles to go to distant places that I did not know of, which I didn't find out until 6th grade. However, somehow, and I'm very glad for this, that he changed his attitude only in 8th grade; he became very avid at Chess and mathematics, taking the school's Calculus AB at 8th grade. Before that, he would get 'C' grades, and play games everyday. </p>
<p>By 9th grade, I had to move from the suburban area of Colorado to San Diego, to find work again. However, this became a severe problem for my son. He says he keeps feeling depression, even up to now. He refuses (or I didn't ask him about it) to tell me why, but I believe that because he felt that anyone could change for the better, he didn't believe in the cult of smartness, genius etc. This was why he made the goal of making USA(J)MO or whatever, and now he sets the goal of making something called 'MOSP' after completing that goal. However, I understand that since San Diego is bound to have many wealthy folk, with more mean attitudes, this can attack his 'values', as he calls them very much. He feels that he cannot relate to any of the other people here (from his massive change of mind), which is leading him to be very anti-social and depressed because of this lonliness. This has been affecting his mind and actions, such as a severe memory drain, which has also been affecting his GPA, etc.</p>
<p>I don't know how to handle him, because he's had a very different life from the others. I don't want his whole high school career, much less his life, to be severely drained just from living here.</p>