Help with an overbearing parent

<p>I second the idea of engaging your college counselor. Maybe they can talk some sense into your dad and reduce the list a bit. Be careful you don’t violate the early application rules (they vary somewhat from school to school on whether you can apply early to other schools, whether you are obligated to attend if accepted, etc.).</p>

<p>Different students have different application strategies depending on their situation - here’s our story:</p>

<p>our daughter applied to 13 schools, a couple were safeties, the rest were reaches.</p>

<p>Our strategy: due to our low EFC, have her apply to tippy-top schools that meet full financial need. We were aware that it would be difficult for her to get in.</p>

<p>We used fee waivers for the applications (we qualified based on our income).</p>

<p>My husband’s mantra: you only need to get into 1</p>

<p>She picked the reach schools based on her research - she wanted certain majors, certain size, size of city, etc. She felt she could be happy at a number of schools.</p>

<p>The result: besides the safeties, she got into one reach. </p>

<p>Now, that’s just our story, but it’s entirely possible your dad has a similar strategy. Or a completely different strategy.</p>

<p>I was working on my post when the OP posted #20 - I guess that’s not the dad’s strategy!</p>

<p>“I’m not totally against applying to different schools in other states, but it’s just hard to find the motivation to do so when they’re places I’ve never visited or even thought much of before.”</p>

<p>Again, refer to my compromise suggestion of visiting some of your dad’s choices with an open mind so long as he left the ultimate decision up to you.</p>

<p>Other posters have made good suggestions re compromise and visiting a few more schools. I also want to add that Wake Forest does offer early action for NC residents - that might be worth looking into. My concern would be you have 2 reaches and 2 safety schools - one of which you don’t seem to want to attend. Why not add a few match schools - like Wake Forest - to the mix.</p>

<p>I would also think about eliminating Duke since it seems you would prefer UNC. That way, you can apply OOS and possibly make Dad happy without doing an extra application.</p>

<p>Having been a long time college counselor it’s my opinion that parents who truly have their chidren’s best interests guiding them do not want their kids to stay close to home. It sounds like your dad, probably appropriately, is parenting here by trying to push you out of your comfort zone.</p>

<p>Why don’t you and your parents visit some of these schools to begin this process?</p>

<p>You are getting good advice on this thread.</p>

<p>I also live in NC. Last year my son applied EA to NC State and UNC-CH. He had 5 other colleges on his list. NC State acceptances were out in November and once he was accepted he ended up not applying to 3 of the other schools on his list. The only additional applications he sent in were to his two reaches and he probably only did that for us. Once he received his acceptance from Chapel Hill, he knew his college search was done. </p>

<p>As others suggested, let your dad know that some of these applications take a lot of time to complete and you want to keep your focus in school and keep your senior grades up. Talk to him and agree to compromise. Look at his list and visit a couple schools with him. You may find something you like. I would suggest applying EA to the schools you really want. If you get in that will give you some power over what other applications you send. Unfortunately UNC-CH doesn’t send out their EA acceptance until the end of January, so that can be a long wait.</p>

<p>Good Luck!</p>

<p>You’ve received good advice. I would just add that the likelihood of your wanting to attend Columbia, even after a visit, is realistically pretty slim given the other schools on your own list, since it’s an extremely urban campus in NYC; your father might be willing to substitute Cornell or Dartmouth.</p>