<p>Freshman year we stayed a few hours. Fortunately, volunteer students helped the freshman move in so we had very little to do. (This is called checking out the new meat.) We took an hour trip to WalMart and then left.</p>
<p>Sophomore year my D flew with a suitcase. A week or so later, we drove with the big items and left the same day. </p>
<p>I think you will find that the freshmen do not want their parents hanging around. They consider their college and dorm experience private and also need the time to meet other kids and settle in. Also, avoid moving in excess stuff and avoid buying more excess stuff at WalMart. There is another thread about what happens at the end of the school year. Much of the stuff that was never used is just abandoned in the dorms.</p>
<p>Two days should do it.It starts to get unhinged by the end of the second day and after they get a good meal out of you they'll want you to vanish.Day one is move in and day two is shopping and picking up last minute stuff.
Honestly,S needed our brains to organize his room,which was so tiny to be a logistical nightmare to set up.He was carless so he needed us to run errands.
we came from Out of state and were able to get permission to get entry a day early.
And as someone has said,we bought a few of those power strip squids (for lack of a better way to describe them).S says it was the best investment out of all his stuff.
We combined his move in with a few days at the beach a few hours away from him.We drove back to fly home from his city,met him for lunch.He couldnt have cared less at that point!!</p>
<p>Nowayout: Your situation sounds like mine was last year. D moved to Boston from So Cal and had to go a week earlier for a pre-orientation backpacking adventure. She was not even available until move in day, which meant I had to do most of the work the day or two before. Planning and pre-ordering is essential to save time and money.
I flew out 2 days before move in day and her expected return from the mountains.</p>
<p>We made an extensive, skies the limit list (you can many lists from CC website) and then as the summer progressed, we paired it down. Bed Bath and Beyond has a ridiculously long list but is helpful for getting organized.</p>
<p>First, go to Bed Bath and Beyond and order everything you think she will need/want. Find the closest one to college (hopefully there is one near by). This saves on shipping costs. You don't pay until you pick up and you can remove or add items any time along the way. Also go online to Office Depot or one of those that ships free for over $75. Order the ink cartridges, paper, any/all office supplies and have them shipped directly to the college to arrive the week before you do. Again, this saves on shipping and schlepping. Since you can only take 2 suitcases, ship D's light weight stuff via UPS (clothes, etc.) </p>
<p>When you arrrive, rent a large size vehicle. NO compacts!!! You can then pick up items from BB and B, make a Target run for cleaning supplies etc., and go to the college PO to get boxes that you shipped and the office supplies. On move in day you can return anything to BB and B you don't want/need. </p>
<p>I skipped all the parent orientation stuff on move in day. There was not enough time to help kid settle in and make the last minute Target run. Plus I wanted some time just with the D. At most colleges, once the move in day is done, they really want the parents to leave. It is a whirlwind experience. Good luck!!!</p>
<p>ps........D. is a sophomore now :) We had her put everything in storage. She flew home last night with 2 suitcases and one box. She will handle the move in on her own year 2!</p>
<p>The week after HS graduation D moved herself into an apartment near her college (about 3 hours away) that was already occupied by people she knew looking for a roommate. She didn't want to spend the summer sitting at home and was anxious to get away and start her new life. She called asking for advise on where to buy a bed, desk, etc. and we drove up a few weeks later with things we had scrounged from around the house like misc kitchen stuff, a microwave and a couple of lamps. She just finished her 2nd year still in the same apartment, and just signed a lease for next year. It's looking like she will be there until she graduates with new roommates coming in as people graduate or move out. I still get calls asking for decorating advice but she and her roommates do it all themselves.</p>
<p>Having heard about the "bickering" that can take place during the move in and recognizing that the process might be (?) emotionally intense for at least one of the participants, I talked to S beforehand. I just wanted a sense of how HE anticipated it would all work out. Turned out he was fine with help and couldn't see what I might be concerned about.</p>
<p>Fast forward to move-in day: I had the unexplained wisdom to ASK before I did anything in his room. As it turned out, when we got there, there were 2 boys, 4 parents, and many, many boxes and suitcases in a very small room. First order of buisness: empty and remove as many boxes as possible so someone could actually move around the room. "Is it OK if I just hang all thes things in the closet for now to get them out of the way?" "Should I make your bed while you're picking up your books?" There were a few rolled eyes, but it was all in good fun (I think!).</p>
<p>If you have the chance, definitely do help your child move in, especially first year. Even if an 18 year-old is legally an adult and in all likelihood fully capable of unpacking his/her stuff alone, I think it's nice to have a parent around. I just finished my freshman year, and my mom wasn't able to come to orientation or move-out day, so I moved in and out alone. I packed (and unpacked) everything entirely by myself both times. Moving in alone was sad and lonely -- everyone else had a parent or two along to help, and moving out alone was just a pain because of how much stuff I had crammed into a small space.</p>
<p>Good suggestions here, especially pre-ordering from Bed Bath & Beyond, if possible. If your D will essentially be moving in prior to your arrival, there will be much less for you to do. If most of the work (and stuff) is likely to happen concurrent with your showing up, then 3 days is probably ok.</p>
<p>However, mostly be flexible. You will be the organizer, the one to do the last minute shopping (oh yeah, light bulbs), the extra surge protector with the MUCH longer cord, etc etc. And we also did a snack food run right before we left. I know that both my kids appreciated the move in help, and guide to decision making (where should i put THAT?). HOwever, it was also clear they were anxious to have us gone too. A very interesting balance. </p>
<p>I wouldn't have missed it, no matter what. Just remember to think of yourself as the behind the scenes coordinator. Then all should go well.</p>
<p>I agree with Kathiep that 3 days in a place you'd like to explore would make more sense than three days in a small college town. I took my daughter to move in, and I think it was helpful for her and nice for me, but it was very hectic trying to do it all in one day. In retrospect I think a day and a half would have been better--if we had gotten into town the day before, looked around campus and town that day, stayed at a hotel, been ready to start moving in as soon as check-in started. But once the dorm activities start, it's good to just get out of the way! My daughter then left the next day on a freshman trip while we did the parent orientation and tour. If she had not gone on a trip, I think we would have wanted to limit any additional help settling in to one more shopping expedition and maybe taking the roommate out to dinner--but mostly staying out of the way.</p>
<p>My parents took me to school and helped me get unpacked partway--but then they left and I went off to the dining hall with my roommate for dinner. You can't really get started college life until the parents leave!</p>
<p>Last Sept, I flew to CA with DD to take her to college (and attend parent orientation). We did the moving in four suitcases...two for her and two for me (I brought two empties home with me...she'll bring the other two home in June). I spent 5 days there altogether, but two were with a friend who lived nearby. DD and I arrived the day before the orientation began and we were mighty tired. However, we had plenty to do. We went shopping to pick up all those "odds and ends" that we didn't bring from home. Plus because we were traveling far, we ordered from BB and Beyond and picked the bulky stuff up in CA. We did a Target run for a small TV, and went to Staples for computer stuff, a printer, and school supplies. The orientation was two days long. In the evening, I went out with two "cyberfriends" actually from...well...here!! Since they were from the area, one was actually able to help me find some stores and such and together we picked up stuff for our kids. Then we went out for dessert. It was terrific. At the end of the third day, I said my goodbyes (orientation was over...and students were moving in), and went to my friends where I spent the night. This year, I'll put her on a plane here and say goodbye...save my money for a trip to visit during the year. And I DO agree...having a car was a real plus for all those last minute errands and "last suppers".</p>
<p>When D started her freshman year, we drove down the day before and spent the night in a hotel.. enjoyed a nice night together before move in day. The actual move in was not so bad - small room, many things so we kept emptying boxes and clearing space. I agree that it is best to ask "is it ok if I do this?" before touching anything! Husband and S took a stroll around campus while D and I made bed etc. </p>
<p>She suggested we all walk to the bookstore together and then she would walk us to the parking lot... worked out well. She was antsy to meet dorm neighbors w/out parents nosing about... </p>
<p>I went down for a weekend about a month later and really enjoyed my time with her. I'd recommend that rather than hanging around for 3 days, unless as others have said - you won't be hurt if she doesn't want to spend time with you. It's hard not to be hurt, especially near the beginning when everything is so new.</p>
<p>Be prepared for stress and tension. Even so, it is an important milestone for BOTH of you so don't be too hard on yourself. I drove my first D to college and almost from the beginning, it was an emotional trip. A lot of that is just our nature. But even though I thought I was prepared, I wasn't always in my best form. (We still laugh about the time we stopped for lunch and I started crying just as the waiter showed up to take our order!) This year, she is going with me to take D #2 to her school, to keep Mom company and keep her distracted! I do plan to be a bit more in the background, but also a bit more available (in the area) so that if D#2 feels that sudden pang of loneliness, I can be there. I remember, the first night after I dropped off D #1, while still enroute back home, I checked my email and found a message from my lonely and apologetic daughter wanting to come home over labor day weekend. I immediately wrote back, "of course you can home" (knowing of course that it would never happen) and dried my tears. Ironically, a few months later, my mother brought over a letter she had found in her papers, from me to her and my dad, apologizing for having been abrupt when they dropped me off at college. As I explained, I was just scared about being left alone, and wanted to get the goodbyes over with. In many ways, it is just like ripping off the bandaid. We all know it's coming, and the sooner we do it, the better.</p>
<p>Husband flew out with freshman son last fall for a brief trip to settle him in. I second BB&B recommendation, DS preordered in Boston, so they were able to just pick up the items in the local store on the way from the airport.
DS had a delivery from Staples waiting for him in the dorm. It included school supplies, lamp,batteries, light bulbs and refrig. that he had preselected. There is no delivery fee on any order over $50, so this was convenient and we knew DS wouldn't risk the local store being out of stock. Also did a package to campus from drugstore.com-which son had on move in day. Got everything from a 12 pack of power bars, toothpaste, shampoo, etc. also at reasonable rates and no delivery fee. This all made for a fairly stressless trip, all the other items they picked up at a supermarket.
I did send a large box with son's winter clothing in the fall, but turns out DS never unpacked it and ran around in light weight clothing all year. Well, so much for snow boots and winter jacket.
Son wants to go out on his own this year, his belongings are scattered among various local friends. I hope he finds it all!</p>
<p>I'm basically a "virgin" at sending my kiddo off....but the plans are:</p>
<p>DH, DD and I are flying in to Philly the day before Customs (orientation) starts. We're Left Coasties going to the East, so we have to kill one day in travel as it is.</p>
<p>We have a hotel room for 4 nights, which should cover it. We're doing the whole registery thing w/BBB and pick up, coupons, etc. so that part of it should be set. Since I work in the "event planning" industry, I do realize a large portion of it will be running around at the last minute getting the needful.</p>
<p>I'm also hoping at this time my hubby and I will get some alone time to have some well-needed "date nights" in Philly, which will be pretty foreign to us.</p>
<p>Best of luck to everyone doing this....we do it this year, and then, we do it again next year when the boy goes off to school.</p>