I am frugal and rational and flew alone 1000 miles with 2 bags and 2 boxes we shipped. We didn’t have the money for a parent to come. It never even came up as an option. Many/most other kids had parents there but that did not bother me.
You must go, that’s it, go–emotions for you, emotions for her (even if she hides them), across the country (we have done this, it’s not easy, and I was uber prepared for my son), and there is lots to do, carry, organize, last minute things, last meals together, events, meeting roommates and their parents (get the roommate’s and/or parents’ text #'s in case of emergency), and you will very likely have regrets, and indeed overwhelmingly most kids have at least 1 parent there. GO, that’s it.
@MotherOfDragons, no worries. I was trying to lighten the situation for myself. That’s why I wrote tee-tee next to it. It will be fine. I just needed to vent. Quite a bit stressed with many life events. Shoot, I’m even questioning why I haven’t had a crying fest about her leaving, second guessing my emotions. I handle my stress by trying to be funny. But, I’m not very funny. Punchlines never land correctly. I’m usually the only one laughing.
I do thank you for your insightful advice.
=)) @JHS
OP, this trip is for you and I think your daughter will ultimately appreciate it too.
You don’t want to look back with regret. Cross the finish line with joy!
@cardinal2020mom I hear you :).
This morning I got an email from a senior photography studio that said 'Your Baby is A Senior Now" and I burst into tears yelling “not for six more days!” (she’s finishing up her junior year, her sister her sophomore year). I’m going to be waaaay over the crazy bend when I’m in your shoes next year.
i would absolutely go.
These reasons:
[QUOTE=""]
there’s usually some sort of Parent program
your kid will be one of the few there without a parent
It’s one of those bonding things…for me, no way I could have let her go until I sat for 6 hours in the most claustrophobic dorm room in the entire country. I was relieved to leave her after that. 
[/QUOTE]
Plus, there are so few joyful turns and detours and paths in life…this is one of them…who’d want to miss that?
Going for move-in was anti-climatic for us. Our oldest D was a transfer student. She went to the campus in the late spring to register for classes and there were parent info sessions then too. In the fall, we drove her down to school, helped her get her stuff up to her room, and then left. It was crowded. She didn’t want us to hang around, and was content to unpack by herself and wait for her roommate to arrive. There was already an orientation event for the LLC scheduled for that evening.
We did go out to lunch, without her, then sent one last text You okay? Need anything? before we hit the highway. She was fine. But that’s her personality.
We will likely take the same approach with our youngest. She has already been to campus to register for classes, and there were parent info sessions too. She just needs to show up in the fall for orientation week. I expect she will also want the quick drop-off.
What we found useful was to get back down to campus in late September or early October. Take kid (and roommate) out to dinner. Take them to Target or wherever. Just a check-in from home. Exchange some summer clothes for cooler weather clothes.
If money is tight, you might want to think about saving your $$ for flying out a few weeks in, instead of at move-in, where you might get lost in the shuffle.
Our kids definitely had/have opinions about this! Ask?
@Ruby789 Oh my gosh, this made me laugh! 
To the OP, did you talk to your daughter about it yet? You say she is very independent and she and your husband are so much alike, so I doubt she will think it’s odd that he doesn’t go, but if she balks about your going, I was raised Catholic and have found a little old fashioned guilt often works. Tell her it will be less expensive than the long-term therapy you’ll need - or fixing the car from the accident you’ll have driving home from the airport crying your eyes out. 
I was in a similar situation when my S left for college this year, across the country and in a rural area. My H didn’t see any reason we needed to go with him, and strictly speaking he was probably right, but I felt a very strong need to go. H wisely did not insist, just said that he personally didn’t see any need to go, but that I was free to go if I wanted to. I did and was so glad! And I think my S was glad too. The little town his college is located in did not have any of the supplies it turned out we still needed, so my rental car came in very handy for several last minute trips to stores. By the time I left him I knew he was set up as well as he could be, which I felt was my final responsibility before leaving him on his own.
@cardinal2020mom back in April a passionate debate was had over whether parents should help their children pack and move out of their dorms. It too had strong arguments for and against. Here is the link:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1879384-do-they-really-need-help-packing-up-at-the-end-of-the-year-p1.html
I’m not too happy about the cost, but we are all flying 1,700 miles to see D16 off in August (we’re going 5 days early and just having this be our family vacation although we did the same trip last year and D19 isn’t thrilled). H definitely wants to move her in, but he continues to insist that she doesn’t actually need anything in the dorm room. I’ll have to buy stuff ahead of time and pick up there.
Actually, I’m finding that the airfare for all of us to go in August isn’t that much higher than the price of bringing just D16 home for the school’s weeklong Thanksgiving break. Yikes!
^^^ I see moving out and moving in as totally different. I have never moved my kids out at the end of the year, except ds1’s graduation year when we were there anyway. And next year, it’ll be ds2’s turn.
I get being cheap. When ds1 was flying to his potential college for his final visit, I was hesitant to accompany him. He first saw the college the summer before senior year with a friend and her ds, so I’d never seen it as it was 1,000 miles away. And, being cheap, I had convinced myself that I didn’t need to go on this second visit because, hey, he was going there for the next four years, not me. Well, a friend told me to quit being so cheap – that’s literally what she said. And she was right. I went and fell in love with the place and knew it was perfect for him. I then knew that I could leave him there in the fall, confident that it would work out. If I hadn’t gone in April, I likely would have been a blubbering mess leaving him there in September, but nary a tear was shed at drop-off. After having spent two full days on campus and in the town, I was sure that this would work out.
As long as your dd isn’t against you going, I say go. I agree with MotherofDragons, that neither you nor dh is right or wrong. You just have different needs, and there’s no reason you both can’t get yours met. You will feel so much better having met her roommate, etc. I will say, however, that a not insignificant portion of kids don’t have parents at move-in – intl students, low-income students whose parents can’t afford to come along, etc, so she won’t be the only one if you didn’t go. Please do let us know how it goes!
ETA: You flying out there should be part of the COA. 
I was lucky that my parents walked me to the taxi that took me to the airport. I was even happier that they gave me the money for it.
I can relate. I was happy my parents came out to the driveway and waved goodbye.
I always want to know where my kids would be living. I moved both of kids in college, and I also went with them when they studied abroad. They didn’t really need my help, but they appreciated my presence.
Well since we’re adding our own memories…my boyfriend dropped me off at my dorm on our way back from a summer-long cross country trip. I called my parents a few days later to let them know I was at school. They hung up. They were still mad that I left with a boy graduation night to see “the world”. There’s so much more to tell but its worthy of its own thread lol.
@oldfort, you checked out their digs abroad? Hmmm, wonder if that would fly with D? Wouldn’t mind taking a weeks’ vacation myself to “see where she would be living”
Now that sounds like a great thread @NEPatsGirl (#55)!
@oldfort- D is doing a study abroad in London- and we are taking her. I feel like I need to see where she will be living- and it’s a great reason for a fabulous travel opportunity.
D1 studied abroad in Sydney and D2 went to London. I was a helicopter parent in both cases that I arranged to have them live where local students lived instead of living at the “international village.” I got their room furnished, internet and phone services set up before i left. It was easy in London, but not so easy in Sydney.