HERLLLPPP ME please! Needing constructive criticism...

<p>Okay so I am applying to Texas A&M as a Transfer Freshman. Could you give me any constructive criticism for my essay. I just don't know if I'm writing this like I'm seeing the forest or just the trees... anyways, here goes:</p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<pre><code> Saving 'Christmas'
</code></pre>

<p>Far across the world, Chilean locals strolled beside me on the sidewalk, unified by the same leisurely cadence. It seemed as though a different concept of time were encoded in their DNA. The open storefronts lining the surrounding buildings allowed the warm fragrance of traditional Spanish cuisine to waft freely out into the cool air. As a frequent traveler, this is my way to immerse myself and empathize with the cultures I visit. By opening my senses to every stimuli, I see the world from their perspectives. It wasn't until I lived through an unlikely pair of eyes, that I recognized the harsh reality in the streets of Re</p>

<p>Anything you guys have to offer would be fantastic.
Thanks!</p>