Now this isn’t in any way me trying to talk bad about my rommate. At first, he seemed like a nice guy and we talked and got along pretty well for the first couple of weeks in this semester. He is a 2nd year and I am a 1st year (just started in August) and I thought we would be fine even though we were random people assigned together. Well, I distinctly remember him telling me (I don’t know if he was implying anything) that when I first talked to him, that he wanted a single room but it was too expensive, but I didn’t take it as an insult because I thought it was just something he wanted in the future. Well, I ended up having a friend stay over the second weekend into the school year and we were all fine, we even watched movies and included my roommate so he wasn’t alone because he called himself a “social outcast”, so we tried to be nice. After that weekend about 2 weeks passed before I asked again (giving him a day + notice every time) and I texted him saying “hey do you care if I have a friend over two nights from now?” and he replied with “yeah I care”. Trying to be positive, I just took it as maybe he was busy with homework or something, so I hung out with my neighbors next door. He ended up coming home at 1 am and stayed up until 5 watching videos on his phone, so it was obvious he didn’t have work to do. I’m not a very judgmental person and I like to be respectful to people, so I decided not to say anything about it that weekend because, even though 2 weeks went by without anyone coming over, he still might have wanted space. Then a few days later I ask if he cared if my girlfriend could come over for a few hours and hang out, I made it clear that he could stay and we won’t make him feel uncomfortable or the need to leave, well he replied with “whatever”. At this point I feel like it’s a personal issue that I don’t understand. I don’t have people over except for about one person, one night a month maybe and we stay on our own side of our room, don’t bother my roommate, and I just don’t get it. Sorry if this is long, but there are WAY more instances where it seems like I’m doing everything wrong when I don’t understand why. I work 30 hours a week on top if 16 credit hours of school and I would like to be able to hang out with a friend once in a while in my room in the little free time I have. All my roommate does 24/7 is sit on his computer in the dark, but I never bother him. Any advice?
Hang out with your friends, if your roommate has a problem he’ll tell you and then tell him what you wrote here. Make sure not to room with him in the future. Good luck man
Be a grown up. Ask him if you can agree on how often it’s okay for you to invite people over.
I’d recommend you talk to your roommate and work out some kind of an agreement you can both live with. If you feel he is not reasonable and you need to involve the RA you can do so.
Both of you are paying for the room, so both of you have a right to use it. It’s reasonable to expect visiting hours to be limited to certain times (for example, my roommate and I usually cut it off by midnight on school nights), and to expect notice if a friend is visiting. But to never allow friends over? That’s absurd and unfair. If you guys can’t come to an agreement on your own, get an RA involved.
It seems like there is more to the story here. Maybe I’m not understanding but the friend and the girlfriend. Are they the same person? I’m guessing the girlfriend doesn’t go to the college?