<p>I'm a homeschooled student (junior), but I've attended a community college for math and science since my freshman year. Anyway, there's a teacher ("Mrs. S") I've gotten to know since the first semester of 9th grade (she actually substituted three times in my biology intro class), and I finally officially took a class with her this past semester. We have quite a bit in common; we're both heartfelt Christians, so that's served as a bit of a catalyst. I've enjoyed getting to know Mrs. S via office hours (that often aren't related to class topics, just chatting), and she's mentioned that she's enjoyed getting to know me better. Definitely more than just an instructor-student association. While I would like to get to know Mrs. S even better (I really have begun to look up to her as a potential mentor-type person), I don't want to wear out my welcome. It's unlikely that I'll take another class with her, and I don't wish to appear to steal valuable office hour time chatting with her during following semesters when her students truly need help and attention with their coursework.</p>
<p>I've posted this on the parent board because you probably have a lot of life experience and observation with this type of situation. How would you suggest I better get to know Mrs. S without being an annoyance? (taking the friendship "out of the classroom," so to speak) I would really like to get to know her even better for many years to come.</p>
<p>Just be sure if you do stop by, keep it brief, ask for advise and use it, I can understand your trepidation as you haven't had that many student teacher relationships, but teachers do like to help students, be honest (but not to much like a stalker), and that you hope if you have any problems or advise regarding colleges, etc, you value her opinions. You are still 17ish, and she is an adult, so there will natuarly be some boundaries but a mentor relationship is the right way to approach it. You seem to be really thinking about this, and I am sure you will handle it well.</p>
<p>Thanks, I appreciate your input. That's exactly what I meant: I don't want to seem like a stalker. Yes, I see the value in approaching it as a mentor relationship. I suspect the next semester or two will be the telling period of time when it comes to whether this association is really a friendship. I know I sound like I'm obsessing over this, but Mrs. S is someone who has been a great source of help and encouragement over the past two years, and I hope to see it continue for many more.</p>
<p>A nice thing might be to write her a note thanking her for taking the time to encourage you in your plans. Then say you hope you can keep in touch from time to time. Then, follow through.</p>
<p>By coincidence, our hs posted a few profiles of alumni who are now in college. They all encourage others to seek out teachers and talk to them; it is one of the most important thing students can do in high school.</p>
<p>If you're doing any math/science reading outside of CC classes maybe you could arrange a meeting at a coffeehouse or something to discuss what you've been doing academically and ask her some questions if you have any. (or even humanities, if both of you are interested in the topic). If you don't already do that this is a terrific opportunity/motivation to get started on what you've wanted to learn. :)</p>
<p>You can write the teacher a thank you note (or a card with a note in it) and express some of your interests and concerns. Be honest but not too mushy or patronizing. Ask her to be honest and open with you. Let her know that it's ok for her to let you know if she needs some "space" away from your relationship at any given time. A lifelong, positive student-teacher experience can be very rewarding for both parties. This goes for any "healthy" student-adult relationship. Good luck!</p>
<p>When I was in high school, my senior year, several students were dating the student teachers . Attraction between teachers and students of the opposite sex was not uncommon, but few crossed the boundaries. I remember one teacher getting so flustered talking with me once, he ran away. There were all kinds of oportunities to get involved with young teachers in those days. And on a college study abroad program a prof. asked me once to travel with him. It was not a innocent comment. As I look back on these expereinces, I am SO GLAD not to have gotten involved.I was TOO IMMATURE psychologically.<br>
My advice is, go find a pretty girl your own age and abandon your 'mentoring' fixation with her.</p>
<p>backhandgrip --
ummm...not to be awkward, but I'm actually female and in no way romantically interested...so thanks for the advice, but i'm not sure it pertains to the situation.</p>
<p>Guess I interpreted it wrong! Too much in the news lately about kids and immature teachers! But the point is, this sort of thing was common years ago, students dating teachers .</p>
<p>Avalon, I always assumed from your posts that there was never anything romantic or unhealthy about your relationship with a teacher. It is just intellectual and philosophical, etc. ... nothing kinky! Just keep all communication and any other activity "real" and on point! And give the teacher (and yourself) space to have a life outside of your mutual interaction.</p>
<p>Back again. Once again I apologize, too much happening here around me. Our computer is in our livingroom and sometimes I just skim the small print, other things going on! Oh, gee, profs. EXPECT students to come and discuss ideas with them. Ask you prof. friend's office hours and go ! I don't think it even matters you aren't an offical student .</p>
<p>By the way Avalon, I think the fact that you are even asking the question is an indication that you respect your teacher...and I'm sure she respects you as well.</p>
<p>Avalon, your sensitivity to your teacher's time is quite admirable and would likely prevent you from overreaching the relationship. Your teacher should be able to give you very clear signals if you go beyond what she is willing to give to you. Relax and enjoy getting to know and be known.</p>
<p>"Guess I interpreted it wrong! Too much in the news lately about kids and immature teachers! But the point is, this sort of thing was common years ago, students dating teachers .'</p>
<p>Avalon - print this thread and give it to your teacher - she'll understand without a doubt and be upfront about what kind of time she has to offer you. Cool hey? By the way you sound here I bet she enjoys chatting with you - what a compliment to a teacher! Carry on.</p>