<p>With NMF, you are GUARANTEED a full ride at both U of A and ASU. I recommend that you apply to ASU and Barrett’s, the latter of which is also a safety with your stats as long as you put effort into the application. It’s great that your parents are willing to pay for any school (or any “prestigious” school?). If they complain about being disappointed, hold your head high and thank them sincerely for being so generous. Don’t EVER try to change yourself for anyone else’s benefit.</p>
<p>As a parent of an incoming high school freshman, I can’t believe what I’m reading. Its clear from the students posts I’ve read you ALL clearly love your parents a heck of alot. That is something to be proud of. That said; its about what makes you happy. If you know you hate science and want to do law, thats what you should do even if you parents think otherwise. Trust me they will get soon enough. My daughter got into the high school she wanted (Bronx Science) and I was proud. She wants to play volleyball although she is not very good at gym, I applaud her for trying. I wanted her to take the test to join the math team in her school, (because she is so good at math) she said she preferred to take the test for AP biology. Didn’t want to join the math team at all. I just supported her decision. Thats the way I intend to do it. Am there to guide her BUT ultimately she has to be happy doing whatever she chooses to do. Good luck with your parents. One more thing, to the poster who called your parents morons; I don’t think they are. They are just taking a longer time to realize its your life and not theirs. They still love you guys!</p>
<p>I am sorry this is going on for you. Sounds like you are very intelligent and mature. For some parents it is very very hard to back off when it comes time to. My husband is still unhappy with D#1’s choice of college and “design your own major” which to him equals she will never get a real job". He cannot move past the fact that graduates of the college are successful and earn actual money. It sounds like you have a good plan. Continue in what you dream of. I was pretty much told what to do (a nurse) when I had other ideas, none of which were encouraged…and although its been pretty good I do still have some regrets. Go for it. I have lots of confidence that you’ll be successful.</p>
<p>OP: Let me guess- Indian parents? I don’t think you are a disappointment- they are just using good old fashioned emotional blackmail to try and get you to become a doctor. They’re probably pretty proud of how smart you are and figure all this other stuff is a waste of your talents. Just go do what you want in college and they’ll come around. </p>
<p>Sucks that they won’t let you go to a mock trial day camp, though. You could try to push back and see if they will relent. (Or pretend to want to date a black guy to put it all in perspective.)</p>
<p>Hey. I send you a hug. One thing that might help is to quietly (no shouting or drama) tell your parents that it causes you tremendous pain and heartache when you are forced to choose between their love and your loves (your interests). Tell them too, that you are afraid (I’ll bet you are) – because a lot of families self destruct during the HS senior year. Parents push too hard. Some teens run away. Some teens attempt suicide. Some teens abuse substances – all of these things are choices but they often begin with ways to deal with stress. Let your parents know that part of you is truly worried about how hard they are pushing and what your response is going to be as things pile up (and they will). </p>
<p>Ask them to go to counseling with you (a VERY American thing). Even if they say no, they may start to understand how hard this is for you. </p>
<p>I also hope your family will watch “The Dead Poet’s Society” together. If your family doesn’t know the kid’s story “The Ugly Duckling”, now is a great time to get a copy and share it. Go be a swan, kiddo. Keep talking. But, for pete’s sake, don’t date a black guy to get back at your parents. Choose a date because you like him (whatever hue he is). We are past the 1960’s. Thank God. But black teens still have enough challenges without being a tool in your family drama.</p>
<p>“But, for pete’s sake, don’t date a black guy to get back at your parents. Choose a date because you like him (whatever hue he is). We are past the 1960’s. Thank God. But black teens still have enough challenges without being a tool in your family drama.”</p>
<p>As the mother of black sons, I’m begging anyone who wants to date across racial lines only to get back at their parents, please don’t do that. It’s unfair to break the heart of an innocent person just because you’re mad at your parents. The best revenge really is doing well.</p>
<p>One of my former students --the son of immigrant parents – chose a college over his parents vehement objections. His parents threatened to disown him and literally didn’t talk to him during his last few months of high school. They wouldn’t even transport him to college, and didn’t pay a dime toward college (He got a full ride).</p>
<p>The student became one of the best students in his college’s history, and among other things, got to meet the president of the U.S. twice during his college years (His mother had told him not to go to that college because “you’ll never meet the movers and shakers of the world”) and graduated to an excellent job at a prestigious company where he was paid well. Three years after graduation, the guy was working in London, Chicago and NYC all as part of his job.</p>
<p>Long before that, however, his parents had reconciled with him, and even hosted a graduation party for him where his father publicly apologized for trying to force him to go to another college.</p>
<p>Really, the best revenge is doing well…</p>
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<p>I see I touched a nerve by my suggestion. But you guys ignored the most important part of my sentence: >>pretend to want>> to date a black guy. My comment was partly tongue in cheek. Obviously I was not suggesting her to actually date someone. </p>
<p>I was trying to point out to the OP that her parents’ objections to her career choice were in the same irrational category as fears of interracial dating. It is a very common way in which immigrant parents make peace with their children’s choices- by realizing that “it could have been worse”. OP’s parents have to be made to realize that things could be much “worse” than their kid going to Cornell and becoming a lawyer.</p>
<p>I didn’t see your post, vicariousparent, only the response to it.
While you were being facetious, unfortunately, there are young people who think dating across racial lines is a good way to get back at their parents. For such young people, the comments against such a notion may be eye opening.</p>
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<p>Agreed. My D does policy debate.</p>
<p>OP: Thought you would enjoy this snippet of a 2005 commencement speech at Caltech by Sandra Tsing Loh, a radio personality and author in CA. Her comments indicate that you are not alone. </p>
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<p>You can find the whole speech here: [Caltech</a> Commencement](<a href=“http://pr.caltech.edu/commencement/05/loh_speech.html]Caltech”>http://pr.caltech.edu/commencement/05/loh_speech.html)</p>
<p>A few points. If your parents will pay for Cornell (even if they won’t like it), you should avoid arguments about it as much as possible. Apply to ASU. Heck, apply to Yale. You might get in there and not Cornell, and you might even like Yale better as you look into it more.
But I do think you need some help from another adult about your ECs. Somebody needs to tell your parents that in order to get the best scholarships, and to get into top schools like Yale, you need the opportunity to excel in your ECs–so you need to do competitions, etc. Perhaps the sponsor of debate at your school could tell them how good you are at it, and perhaps how it has led to success for other students.</p>
<p>You are, probably misinterpreting your parents. I imagine they love, cherish and support you in all your goals.</p>
<p>yeah, they’re indian.
counseling? like that would happen…</p>
<p>I think you’re right about the ECs though. But, to be honest, my coaches and teachers have tried everything. The last attempt to persuade my parents to let me go to a competition was my math teacher and guidance counselor who scheduled a 45 minute meeting to persuade my parents to be nicer about ECs.
It just doesn’t work. But, I’ve kept doing them anyways, so right now their views are just annoying rather than actually a problem.</p>
<p>Of course I know they love me. Have I blamed them for not allowing me to do normal high school things? Of course not. The problem isn’t their love, or lack of it: it’s whether I should listen to them because they love me, or decide that I have to do things for myself regardless of their views.</p>
<p>Plenty of great advice given above.</p>
<p>And, if it helps, both ASU and Cornell have pretty good up and coming mock trial teams. Cornell’s been a little stronger as of late, but ASU is one of my favorite underdog teams. I think both made it to the national rounds earlier this year. Something to look forward to once you get there.</p>
<p>Just know there is a flip side to your challenge: both of my kids who are very fine students complain that I don’t give them enough direction. Seriously, they tell me I’ve fallen down on my job over and over. I have always told them to figure out what they like, what sort of college, career on their own and they tell me that’s just crazy to expect of them!</p>
<p>I think the op’s parents sound a little controlling. The loosey-goose parents get complaints, too, though.</p>
<p>Parents like this tend to be good to bounce ideas off of, because they’ll give you practicality check. However, know that they don’t know everything – dare to go against their gut reaction only if you can back up to yourself that what they fear is baseless.</p>
<p>For instance, if some Asian dad told his son to become an engineer, and the son didn’t want to and wanted to study something else, well if that something else has good future career prospects, fine. Else he’d better have a clear plan in mind on how to support himself. Not everyone who wants to go against parents is mature enough to handle it, and while I think this OP’s parents sound overboard, people are usually a little too loose about what they want to study.</p>
<p>Spiralcloud - Having been both a parent and a child of parents (duh!), I can tell you that sometimes your parents will give you good advice and sometimes they will give you bad advice. And, frankly, sometimes the bad advice is because they are looking after their own best interests rather than yours. Unfortunately, you might not be able to tell any of this until after-the-fact. So don’t disregard their concerns, but don’t ignore your own feelings.</p>
<p>Some practical points:
- There is no reason that you can’t major in one of the sciences undergrad, and then go to law school. I know a very successful lawyer who had an undergrad engineering degree.
- There is also no reason that you can’t have a double major or major plus minor. I have a high school friend who double majored in English and Physics. She eventually got an MBA, and has had a high profile business career.
- My point is that these things don’t have to be either/or. If you decide you want to please your parents you can do so without letting go of your dreams. You clearly have the work ethic and brains to be successful at whatever you choose.</p>
<p>As father of a son who did policy debate in h.s., I can say that while I attended some debates I never got up to speed. But I could recognize how good our team was and son was (state champ), and encouraged this all the way because debaters learn to do research, to think, and engage in teamwork. Besides, this activity, combined with journalism, kept him engaged in the school, which by and large was boring academically.</p>
<p>Looking back at these activities now, I see the roots of his later career success as a journalist/statistician. Of course I would have been proud for him to be a scientist (and encouraged him to consider this in college), but that wasn’t his interest (he majored in economics). He took a far riskier, less certain course in his career. And it’s paid off well so far. </p>
<p>Kids need to find their own path – for sure to “try” different things to find their interests and aptitudes, but ultimately they have to make their way in a very complicated society and changing economy.</p>
<p>Similar deal here 
Even with 36 ACT 4.0 etc… my parents think I will fail if I go into anything besides medicine…</p>
<p>In general, I agree with other posters that you need to be your own person. However, it may be unnecessary to meet your parents head-on about it right now.</p>
<h1>1 your parents are making it harder for you to get into Yale, the goal which they have for you. They do not understand the American system of admission. And future success in medical school admission has nothing to do with high school research or bio competitions in high school.</h1>
<p>Make your parents understand that even if you were to do what they wanted and try to prepare for med school, your best chance would be to do the debate-type activities you are doing now–because that is what could get you into Yale. I guess you’re current method of not telling them what you are doing is working, though.</p>
<h1>2 In terms of the weight the degree has in med school admission, there is a world of difference between Cornell and ASU–even ASU and a top-tier state school is very different. Your parents are being irrational.</h1>
<h1>3 In Animal House, there’s a great line where the frat is on trial and one of the brothers (Otter) represents the frat saying, “Relax, I’m pre-law.” The other brother is like, “I thought you were premed?” Otter replies, “What’s the difference?”</h1>
<p>Otter is right. Pre-med and Pre-law are practically the same anyway, which means no confrontation with your parents should be necessary until like senior year of college. You can major in english or economics and have just as good a chance at admission as if you were a bio major. I know an economics major who got into Johns Hopkins Med School.</p>
<p>So the bottom line is you need to convince your parents that majoring in what you like makes sense even if you were to fulfill their goals. You don’t necessarily need to confront them right now. For all you know, by the end of senior year of college you may actually want to be pre-med, and your parents will have ruined your chances by their irrational beliefs.</p>