I have a very competitive child, God bless her. She has, across time, come to realize the outcomes she read as “rejections” were instead course corrections. Some things are for later. Some are for never. Better opportunities lie ahead, just around the corner and out of view. Stay vertical, and keep swinging. It’s best to be in a place where your presence is highly valued. The task is to find those places.
@agreatstory - so well said.
@agreatstory I have a kid like that also. Despite being 15 realizes that it doesn’t take much to course correct, that going out for things is what matters and if you don’t make the team (it might be their loss). I love to see this evolve. I honestly think it’s due to early and often competition in many things. I never would have been able to bounce back so quickly. Also, as someone else mentioned the perfect is the enemy of the good.
My Daughter got many rejections last year…more than anybody was expecting (not just her “biased parents” but also her College Consultant. She applied to many schools that were “reachy” but nobody thought she would be rejected at most as she had the grades/scores/EC’s. She ended up going to her “safety”…a great school with a well regarded/highly ranked program for her major. This school “showed her the love”…Honors College, small "elite " program within her major, Merit money. She was teary at Accepted Students Day as she said “I never really thought I would have to be coming here”. She also had to cope with lots of Judgy comments from people in the Spring…friends, students at her school and adults about her choice of schools. Fast forward to first semester this year…she LOVES her school, has joined clubs, has a great group of friends, and is most likely going to get a 4.0 this semester. We couldn’t be happier!
@agreatstory, I simply love your course correction analogy, thank you!
@MAsecondtimer, thank you, likewise, I am sure D will have a great summer even if she doesn’t get into any of the programs she has applied/is applying. I am trying to see the best in everything, so I’m telling myself it’s good she was eliminated in the first round instead of the second one since now she has more incentive and time to seek out other opportunities for the summer. It will all work out in the end:)
Yeap. If you don’t try, you won’t get rejected OR accepted. When my kid really wanted to get a summer internship at some place as a part of an essay contest and didn’t win it, I had him contact the internship organization directly, and my kid managed to correspond with one person there who felt some sympathy for a kid who was trying hard and offered one of the internship position. Basically, that internship position started opening my kid’s brain and eyes as to what was possible if he tried harder.
@MAsecondtimer …my sister some years back was in a very similar position…except that she hated her safety. She transferred out to a top 20 after her first year, loved it and graduated magna cum laude with a scholarship for a masters lined up. Same beginning, different path - but the important thing is, both your D and my sister happy in the end. And maybe that’s a lesson we can help teach students too - the first step might be different than you anticipated, but you still have control over how your path goes after that.
Our son received mostly rejections. The reason why, he applied mostly to very top Universities (6) and only 2 safeties. When he did not get into his top school (Michigan) he was very sad. I offered support and encouragement, baked him a cake with a funny quote, etc. However when he did not get into what was My top choice for him (Notre Dame) I couldn’t face him. He is now at his “safety” and says everything is great. Go figure.