<p>Kinderteacher - is there a Hillel House there or nearby? Maybe not and I understand that, but perhaps something nearby? How about a club that interests him? When a friend’s D was having horrible roommate issues and adjustment problems someone told her to go to something familiar - for her it was the ice arena (she was a highly accomplished figure skater). That, and working with the RA on the roommate stuff, started to help. If he has had a passion for something can he connect with it at Wake? Club sports, music, theater, whatever. It truly is a wonderful place and there is diversity - it may not jump out at him right away.</p>
<p>Kinderteacher- My son is not a drinker, nor does he belong to a fraternity. You are so right about clubs and sports starting up- he was on intramural flag football, ballroom dancing, Model UN,student government and a few more. Ultimately, he had to cut out ballroom dancing for lack of time! The academics are top-notch, and even the best students will need to leave plenty for time for studies. I am going to ask my son to PM you, and maybe you can pass it on to your son if he wants to talk to a more experienced student who also felt a little misplaced at first. I feel bad about the roommate not liking it either- especially if he has a “I don’t fit in the south” mantra. As you and I know from life experience, people are people everywhere, good and bad. Again, I truly hope it works out, and I will call my son about PMing you!
P.S>Also, if your son loves sports, it seems EVERYONE comes out to root for the Demon Deacons- and then they “bond” over the “rolling of the quad.”</p>
<p>Yes, there is a Hillel, but his complaint is not that he feels the need to be around other Jewish students; rather that he does not want to be associated with a school where there is racism. (his words, not mine, and he did give me specific examples)
He’s played soccer all his life but chose not to play in college so that he could concentrate on academics–we expect that he will play intramurals and he did play in a pick-up game the other day. I do think that once the clubs get started he will be happier. He’s so conflicted right now and we feel so helpless just telling him to hang in there, make an effort, give it time but I know that’s all we can do for him. Just sort of breaks my heart, because he’s such a great kid, zillions of friends, got along great with teachers, dream school…this is not what I was expecting…</p>
<p>But, I guess I should add that there are ignorant people everywhere, and just because he may have encountered some narrow-minded students does not mean that the vast majority of the people there aren’t open, accepting and friendly. I do hope that my DS can find some like-minded nice, kind people and enjoy himself.</p>
<p>sent you a pm :)</p>
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<p>Good luck anywhere… There are racists at every school in the United States…</p>
<p>I guess coming from an area where his high school probably had what, 50 countries represented, having good friends of every race, religion around, did not prepare him for this…</p>
<p>My son from CA was shocked at how racist some of the students at his school in Boston were. Being from CA he has Hispanic friends and knows the Hispanic culture. He has a lot of respect for them and was very offended by some of the racist comments other people made to him about other cultures. He is a very Irish looking freckled kid so people seem to be comfortable being racist around him (at least the first time and then he blasts them).<br>
There are racists at every school… and great people at every school.<br>
Hopefully he will give it time.
Galwaymom-hoping your son is better soon. I can’t imagine how you feel.
sk8rmom-I was worried about teary phone calls from my DD but so far I haven’t had any. It seems like she is having some bumps with adjusting but she hasn’t shared them with me. Not sure if that’s good or bad…</p>
<p>Good luck and I hope everything works out for your son.</p>
<p>Thanks to all. It is so helpful to have this site to share and discover that we are not alone. I appreciate everyone’s advice so much.
And Galwaymom, I’ll be thinking good thoughts for your son.
It never does get easier being a parent, thank goodness the rewards are so worth it!</p>
<p>S called this evening from Colorado College after returning from a 5-day orientation trip in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. His group of 8 back-packed up to a base camp at 12,000 ft. to do trail maintenance. This involved hauling 40 lb. bags of soil uphill and moving rocks into place on the trail (“bonding experience”). Then they scaled one of Colorado’s “fourteeners” (14K ft peaks) to enjoy the view, notwithstanding a little altitude sickness.</p>
<p>Just before leaving home he developed symptoms of Lyme Disease after hiking the Appalachian trail this summer. The diagnosis is confirmed, so he’s doing his best to take his antibiotics 2x/day at the right intervals to knock out what can be a nasty disease if left untreated. We are so grateful we noticed the rash before he left.</p>
<p>Tomorrow after an address in the chapel is the first class. So he’s working his first 200-page reading assignment tonight. </p>
<p>He’s loving it. So far the school is all we expected, and more.</p>
<p>tk I have a sibling who had Lyme Disease and had some major memory loss issues and other complications. He ended up being treated at Yale. Make sure he takes all of the drugs. It is not something to mess around with.</p>
<p>Yes, Lyme is a scary disease. Anyone who spends much time outdoors (especially in the east) needs to understand the cause, symptoms, and treatment. It is becoming all too common in many states.</p>
<p>He never noticed the tiny deer tick that bit him. Fortunately, he had his shirt off on a hot summer day, so his girlfriend noticed the tell-tale, localized “bullseye” rash on his back. A few more days and he would have gone off to college, where possibly neither he nor anyone else would have seen it. Once the rash fades, the disease can linger a long time with no outward symptoms until it starts attacking internal organs.</p>
<p>Our hope is that we’ve caught it early enough and the doxycycline will knock it out. I don’t know if, after one infection, the body develops an immune response as in measles, chicken pox etc. If so, this could turn out to be a blessing because he spends entire summers in tick-infested areas.</p>
<p>galwaymom - If you have established a rapport with the health center and your son completes the medical releases; I doubt you will have any trouble when he turns 18 if there is an emergency. IMO - kids who have chronic health conditions fare better navigating the “system” because they are used to dealing with health care professionals.</p>
<p>kinderteacher - encourage your son to stick it out for a year. Probably the only schools that will take him in January would be those that he applied to and were accepted at.
He just needs some time to find his niche and he will.<br>
This sort of reminds me of when my youngest went away. She hated the weekends - told me there was “nothing to do” and 1/2 the kids went home. I said “Well then, half the kids are still there, go make friends”.</p>
<p>This thread brings back a lot of memories from my kids experiences. The first semester can be a tough one. One of mine got mono within a couple of weeks and she was 1200 miles away. I actually did a search for plane tickets - but the crisis passed as they usually do. Find a hobby and encourage your kids to stick it out. If you get whining calls every day (or mulitple times a day) don’t be so quick to answer the phone! If it’s really an emergency they will leave a message.
{{hugs}} to all of you!</p>
<p>Update: S did, in fact, call last night, which was the 1 week mark, and my deadline for hearing from him. I truly believe that my “threat” of showing up in person if I don’t hear his voice will help him remember to call.</p>
<p>kinderteacher – D is a senior at Wake. While she didn’t have the adjustment issues your S is having, she has, on several occasions, talked about the “Wake Forest bubble.” That was especially on her mind after her spring semester abroad in India, China, & So. Africa, which exposed her to a much larger world/very different cultures. While she absolutely loves Wake, she’s into a lot of different activities, and has made friends across a broad spectrum of students. OTOH, she’s the first to admit that there are students at Wake that aren’t as open-minded and welcoming. Needless to say, she doesn’t hang around with any of them.</p>
<p>There’s so much to like about Wake – I hope your S will discover that, even if he ultimately decides to transfer. Does he like football? D has absolutely fallen in love w/ the sport, much to our surprise. The first home game is this coming Saturday. There’s so much school spirit, and if they win, then the fun really begins, as mentioned above. (Ask your S to send you photos of “rolling the quad.”) Also, have they had the Activities Fair? D was very active in Student Union for the first 2 years, which was a good way to meet other students. Having a roommate who really dislikes Wake is tough, but I know my D would just decide not to spend a lot of time with someone so negative. Best of luck to your S.</p>
<p>So far everything seems to go well with my DD. She’s making new friends and likes her roommate. Hope she feels that way once she’s in the middle of the semester with all the projects, exams, homework, etc.
Her Bday will be next week, and I’m thinking how to celebrate so to speak. I’m thinking about sending her Bday gift, and wonder if someone has a better idea? i’d like to do something “special”, but I don’t have any creative ideas…</p>
<p>Alias - my d spent this summer living away from home…she had finished her sophomore year. Her birthday was in late June and it was the first one not at home. I sent her a giant (5#) whoopie pie in lieu of a cake and it was a huge hit. Try this website: <a href=“http://www.wickedwhoopies.com…Isamax%5B/url%5D”>www.wickedwhoopies.com…Isamax</a> bakery here in Maine does them and they are fantastic. Her apartment mates and the guys down the hall all enjoyed it and really, it is huge. We’ve had them at my work instead of b-day cakes. Very popular. They are completely fresh when received. I also sent D2 a case of the mini whoopies to share with her dorm floor mates. Again, a big hit. If you don’t know what whoopies are (they originated in Amish country or so I’ve read, but New England now claims them as their own), the website will educate you. I love them. Prices are reasonable.</p>
<p>S#3 is adjusting too well, I think.</p>
<p>He and his roomie are getting along well although they are very different people…apparently they both think that’s a plus and their room has become social central for a wide variety of new friends.</p>
<p>He has liked his classes and professors this first week. He did have to negotiate a big snafu with his schedule…one lab is a 4-hour block and the computer scheduled him with overlapping labs for two of his other classes. The 4-hour lab could not be moved and is not at all flexible because a lot of it is to be conducted off campus; the professor for one of the other afffected classes was flexible and is letting him remain in the class but attend the required lab with another class section; the third professor was nice but not flexible so he had to switch into another professor’s class and lab section at a less desirable time…but it all worked out and he has the classes he wanted, so all is good, as was the experience of advocating for himself all by himself.</p>
<p>When myn had her first bday on campus, I arranged with a local restaurant and had a nice big buffet dinner delivered of her favorites- hot italian sausage, peppers and onions, rolls, salad. Enough to share. Coordinated with her roommate. If that’s to hard, just find a local pizza place or chinese restaurant and order food for the D and her roommate, with some extra!!</p>
<p>You can get one of the large flat rate boxes from the post office, 13bucks, and put lots of fun stuff in it- dvd, cookies, a game</p>
<p>And many schools have cake delivery services for bdays.</p>
<p>My D seems really happy. I got all of 3 minutes today!! Classes start wednesday. Seems to like her roommates, wants more clothes sent, and doesn’t hate the food.</p>
<p>Finally heard from my child - reports that he has a great floor, it’s a big school so you have to be independent and go after things, a range of instructors, some really interesting courses, good food, and probably won’t come home for the Columbus Day break. . . . this is a big transition for me as I must admit I miss him though I know what he needs is where he’s at…a bittersweet time for a loving mom.</p>