<p>A revival of an old thread the other day reminded me of CC screen names I've seen over the years belonging to kids who seemed obsessed about being admitted to [insert name of highly desired college here]. Over four admission seasons now, I've seen particular screen names announce, "I got in to [college]" but then vanish right after saying so (or, in one case, post only on the college-specific forum of a much less desired college). I have now learned to suspect that some participants, for reasons of ego perhaps, can't bear to report their real admission results and claim to have been admitted by some great college in April, only to walk away and never participate here again under the same screen name. </p>
<p>What's your sense of the numbers? There plainly are young people here who really did get admitted to their target college, and who keep on participating to encourage the next year's applicants to that college. But how many CC personas use CC confidentiality just to make up their results? Can we rely on past reports of "I got in" as a basis for guessing what it takes to get in?</p>
<p>I know that our school wants the letters or they want a signed sheet allowing them to verify the data. </p>
<p>I learned a lesson from my first go around with all of this 7 years ago. I took everyone's word, and found out that there are a lot of lies, exaggerations and misrepresentations. When I went through the gauntlet myself, found out that people were claiming full rides from schools that gave no merit aid, athletic scholarships from schools that could not give such money, and waitlistings from schools when they were not. I found out some of the info by accident. So you really cannot go by what anyone says, and even the school lists are suspect if they are not verified. That's why many schools will just list where the student is going. Since they have to send the transcript there and there is usually hooplah about that info, they can be pretty sure that is correct. Even then there are hoaxes. One young lady apparently took the hoax all the way to the school, living there and pretending to be a student for a part of the semester, so you never know 100%.</p>
<p>I know my D has talked about someone in one of her facebook groups who posted that he got into 'GREAT SCHOOL'. But it later turned out that he had lied about it (I'm not sure how that was discovered). So I think even on not-anonymous forums, there is a bit of bragging and 'magical thinking'.</p>
<p>Making up stuff is not isolated to just college entrance message boards. I think that some people's self esteem is so low that they feel better telling people (especially anonymously) tall tales. Most likely a million people say they were at Sandy Koufax's perfect game but the attendance that nignt was less than 20,000. It must be a human trait to want to always one-up the next person. Bragging and embellishing will always be with us. It is sad to see some people take it too far and actually start to believe their own lies. Our family has tenet that we all follow. It is: "Always tell the truth and you never have to remember what you said".</p>
<p>Hey I wasn't at Woodstock either! I figure at least 2/3 of the acceptance thread at YOU KNOW WHERE is true. (I pull that number out of a hat BTW.) Enough to get general trends at least. Enough to see that some incredible kids get rejected. Do you think anyone lies about not getting in?</p>
<p>I have no idea about the %s, and I really don't see any way to check. But I was foolish enough to believe folks down to the 11th hour. Now I am more careful, and since I am now more knowledgeable, I can sometimes catch untrue statement. I would hope people are not spending a lot of time spinning these kind of tales.</p>
<p>We had a classmate of my daughters who lied about her college applications and acceptance throughout senior year. At first blush, my wife and I thought about asking her questions that would call out her lies. As we thought about it, we realized that the whole thing was so sad and whatever insecurities forced the girl to lie, she didn't need us piling on. So, we just left it be. My daughter and her other friends came to the same conclusion. </p>
<p>Sure enough, when the list of acceptances was posted on the guidance office window, she had included at least a dozen fictional acceptances.</p>
<p>I would think people would be more likely to talk about rejections on an anonymous forum than in real life? Just like any other kind of imperfection?</p>
<p>I have debunked a few on CC over the years , and I agree an internet forum is not the only place it happens. One example. While in a group of parents I mentioned to the dad of a kid who received and accepted an offer from Chicago something about "being surprised at Chicago's level of merit aid" and was met with an absolute falsehood: "Chicago doesn't give merit aid scholarships." When I asserted that I knew better and discussed it in further detail, he became really angry. To this day I don't know why unless he thought I was dinging his kid about not getting a scholarship (which I didn't know at the time and wasn't asking). Truly odd behavior.</p>
<p>There is a difference between just not knowing something, and asserting something that you know is not true as the truth. I tend to let people go who are just a bit too aggressive in their ignorance, after telling them where they can check the info for themselves. I don't confront the absolute liars unless they are giving misinformation to the babes in the woods. I was foolish enough to believe some tall tales that really could have hurt the process. I know now to check the original source before taking anything as the truth. Even if the second hand info is correct, the info could have changed.</p>
<p>actually, now that I'm thinking about it, a girl in my D's class also lied about having all her applications in back in September, getting admitted, etc. When it got down to the wire, turned out she hadn't even started yet. I just looked at the 'official' list of college acceptances, and she isn't even on it, so I don't know if she'll be going to college at all.</p>
<p>I also know of kids who only apply to schools they think will accept them, so that they can say 'I got accepted everywhere I applied.' Teens have lots of insecurities, I don't find that very surprising. Plenty of adults embellish too.</p>
<p>Absolutely. Even those high priced consultants need to be double checked on info. Even if the info or advice is good, it may not apply to your particular situation or kid in the way you want it to do so.</p>
<p>Think of this--those people who lie about getting in may also exaggerate their stats, which makes it even more difficult to use that info as any kind of benchmark.</p>
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I also know of kids who only apply to schools they think will accept them...
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<p>I actually believe that's the right way to do it. </p>
<p>Not that you expect 100% acceptances or that you don't apply to a mild reach or two, but there's no point in applying to any college unless you can look at the application and point to specific reasons why that college would accept you. </p>
<p>I see no point in wing 'n a prayer applications to far reach schools. The effort and psychological capital put into those apps often undermines the development of an appropriate list and winning applications at appropriate schools.</p>
<p>I was told by the mother of my daughter's classmate that her daughter did not get in at XYZ college, but they were telling people she did, but could not attend for health reasons (which she has had). The reason for lying? She loved that particular college, and it was the ONLY college to which she applied, because "she could not picture herself anywhere else". I am stunned that her parents could not somehow urge her to look at some safeties as a backup plan. She did not even need to look for financial safeties. Talk about indulging your child. She now has nowhere to go.</p>