<p>I'm seeing a lot of threads on CC about "rank" and I'm getting a bit paranoid because I help my friends (well...loosely connected friends) a lot with their homework, with writing their essays, studying and learning/digesting information, and I write study guides for them (if we're in the same classes)
Is this too much? I just want to know how much is too much...
And I don't want to seem like a jerk that doesn't help people...so. yeah.</p>
<p>you write study guides for them? sounds like you're doing everything for them...taking advantage of you (thats what it sounds like at least)</p>
<p>I would work WITH them, not help them. Make it a mutual thing like a study group or something where everyone contributes. That way everybody benefits.</p>
<p>I'll try. But i had a really bad experience with this
girl that I had just became friends with. I went over her house
and she's REALLY persuasive so I ended up staying over her house for 3 hours
reiterating material that we agreed to know before we met.
How do you say no? I don't want to lie, because I'm not a very good one...
I'm just really bad at lying so the truth always works better...
Sometimes I end up needing there help. Though its smaller than how much I help them, I still need that small amount so...T.T</p>
<p>You are a good person. I think that's more valuable than rank?</p>
<p>Plus if they need your help in the first place they probably aren't as smart as you.</p>
<p>I agree with both of these people. </p>
<p>I am alot like you and we get taken advantage of. Don't help them so much, make them help themselves. Get study GROUPS together (more than 2 people) and if somebody doesn't know, spend a little time trying to help them and then say "Hey, you were supposed to know this before, let's move on so we can help person X who's also in our group." </p>
<p>If they need more help then maybe you can tutor them, but don't do the work for them because then you're not helping them or yourself.</p>
<p>was the girl hot (if you are female yourself i apologize)? just kidding ;)
yeah you're doing too much i think, but its totally a personal choice. I mean, maybe you really enjoy it, but you gotta watch out for yourself, buddy. Academic Darwinism</p>
<p>I think that as long as your helping them is not taking up too much of your time where YOUR studies are compromised as a result of this help, you should be okay. You clearly are a great friend and want the best for your friends, which is great! About the study guides, do you make them for yourself and then share or make the guides soley for your friends? I think the former is perfectly normal and the latter is going above and beyond to help a friend. </p>
<p>Also, your helping them is really helping yourself at the same time, which of course, is very important. Most people tend to learn and remember things a lot more when they are teaching the material to others.</p>
<p>This makes me sad because I know other kids that make study guides for alot of people and get persuaded/pushed into helping. Look out for yourself first! You seem like a really good guy who just wants everyone to succeed. Id be your friend and not um "encourage" you to help me. Much love.</p>
<p>thanks guys...
oh and one point i'm DYING to make...
I'm a GIRL....
lol
thanks. and for the study guides, well i make them, but then people ask for them
either I'll be putting into my bag and ppl look at it and ask for it, or smt people forget that i need some private space and go looking through my stuff until i tell them to get their hands off all my stuff...
Well, it helped a lot. Thanks!</p>
<p>They "go looking through your stuff until you tell them to get their hands off"? I'd say you have more problems than just helping people too much.</p>
<p>Im sorry! CORE is gender neutral.</p>
<p>lol...
well...about my "problem" friends, I'm trying to get away from them...major problem: we have assigned seats and they sit next to me...T.T
but next time they do that I'll just get out-right ****ed :)</p>
<p>that sucks balls and its the bane of almost every highschooler's existence</p>
<p>i totally agree..i'm in the same situation
people always ask me for my notes..and i don't know how to say no!!!</p>
<p>i like giving help (and asking for it) when it is totally unexpected and harmless----- ppl tend to value this more, b/c they dont feel like they're using you</p>
<p>If I were a Sternie, I'd tell you to give your friends all the wrong answers.....but I'm not that much of a jackass.</p>
<p>Sometimes it's not a good idea to help others. People need to learn how to study and accomplish things themselves or they won't succeed in life. Eventually it gets really annoying when people bug you for answers, so they are the ones being jerks! Then again, I know how it feels when someone completely refuses to give any help at all :(</p>
<p>Just stop. Say you love helping your friends but the downside is that you're really too busy and stressed now to keep on writing study guides for them (assuming you don't already write these guides for yourself, in which case you have a bigger problem cuz it's harder to say why you won't hand them out...if that's the case I'll think of something else) Say that on the days before important tests you'll be willing to meet in study groups- but just to review and discuss overarching ideas (in classes like history, which is basically everyone's most study intensive class anyway). Just stop doing this stuff for them, but refuse in the nicest way with no fingerpointing; there's really no justifiable reason to get mad at you then, and if they do you can act hurt (I help you so much and now that I can't anymore all you can think of is get mad at me about it?)</p>
<p>That's what I would do in your situation, not that I'd ever get myself in your particular situation... ^.^</p>