<p>The difference can be if you have a kid who isnt top percent. Even saying that shows some people don’t get the list can be sensitive.</p>
<p>Mthmom if son hadn’t done so well with his acceptances, would he have been happy to know that peo,in your circle know he failed to get it? </p>
<p>I just never felt it was my place to share.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse, I can understand that. I just never thought about it before, because most of the people that I converse with are courteous (no joke!). I cannot IMAGINE someone saying some of the things I’ve seen posted here…i.e. “Oh, he’ll never get in there! They want applicants like __________” </p>
<p>My stars. I would probably LOL and then say, “WELL! That was rude!” with a giant smile and walk away! LOLROF!</p>
<p>I literally DO NOT KNOW PEOPLE that say these things! </p>
<p>But secondly, like I said, it’s not an issue for most of the kids here. Most are applying to Rice, UT, A&M, Texas Tech, or one of the regional colleges that has some stand-out specialties.</p>
<p>Very few apply to Harvard, Princeton Yale, etc. Maybe one or two.</p>
<p>Rice will be met with, “Oooooh, good luck! Great school!”
UT & A&M will typically be met with some pro or con rivalry language, but all in good fun…Gig 'em, Hook 'em, or some other similar thing with a smile and a “good luck!”</p>
<p>None of the kids really keep it a secret - they’re all sort of friends, and they kind of share in each other’s victories and defeats. And most who have applied to Rice have also applied to UT and/or A&M - and most would be reasonaby happy with one of those as a second choice. And anyone who is bothering to apply to Rice is probably an automatic admit to the other two.</p>
<p>I think we’re far less likely to get a “you won’t get in there” than a “why aren’t you applying someplace ‘better?’” And i don’t have an answer other than 1. this is where we can apply for tuition benefits and 2. these are the schools the kid picked out.</p>
<p>My older son was rejected from his first choice MIT, as well as Stanford and Caltech. Yes he had other good choices. But if he’d ended up at RPI, we would have been fine with that and it certainly wouldn’t be a secret where he was. My younger son loved his safety and you bet we would have been selling it’s virtues to anyone who care to listen. His best friend is at Yale. I was talking to his friend’s Mom, her youngest isn’t sure he wants to go to college. Instead he’s taking time off and working in the best restaurant in town. It’s all good. I’m very happy that her son has found something he loves doing.</p>
<p>Once a Mom asked me why younger son wasn’t applying to the Ivies. I had no problem saying that first we didn’t think his stats weren’t quite good enough, and second for international relations there were other choices that might well be better or at least equally good choices.</p>
<p>After all the time spent on CC I can say something nice about almost any college!</p>
<p>Ordinarylives, that is EQUALLY rude! I take it back, we did have one lady (whom we love dearly, but she does tend towards rudeness) say that my daughter had not applied to a very good school.</p>
<p>I just said, “Well, we think it’s wonderful! She’s doing great, it was a perfect fit for her, and she’s so happy! We’re glad she’s where she wants to be and we wouldn’t have her anywhere else!” Smiled and walked away.</p>
<p>I had forgotten about that, but I wasn’t hurt by what she said, only mildly shocked and amused by her rudeness. The truth is my daughter is a music education major, her lifelong dreams are sooo valuable but will likely not produce a lot of monetary reward. She picked the absolute BEST music school that felt comfortable and “right” and was a great value close to home. We and she were happy with her choices, and become increasingly more pleased all the time. And that’s all that really matters. :)</p>
<p>I’ve never considered this rude. It just demonstrates interest. However if after you inform them, people are responding in a rude critical fashion…that’s another story.</p>
<p>I alwas try to assume the best of people and that they are at least sort of interested in where my kid is applying or going. I also assume that they are probably more interested in telling me where their kid is applying or going, or else they wouldn’t have brought it up.</p>
<p>I got to be very irritated when my d had decided on a college 1600+ miles away in a much milder climate and people (ie my parents!) kept asking why did she have to choose to go there? How come she wasn’t staying instate and using her dual credit classes and getting done in two years instead of 4? Wasn’t our instate schools good enough for her?</p>
<p>I usually told them that life is not a race. Why does a young adult have to start their working lives at 20? How come they can’t have the full four years of college if they want it and gain some experiences that they will likely never be able to experience again? And, above all, I told my mom that she should know that the climate my d was moving to was much better for her health in the winter time and that d wanted to be able to breath sometimes in the winter time.</p>
<p>If the people asking seem at least minimally interested and respectful, then I answer in kind. If the person asking is a dumbskull and not thinking, then I can be pretty snotty about it all, depending on my mood.</p>
<p>“If the people asking seem at least minimally interested …”</p>
<p>NONE of those asking are in the least bit interested. As IntParent succinctly noted, they only want to talk about where THEIR kid applied.</p>
<p>[Full Disclosure: There may actually be one or two parents nationwide who are interested in where someone else’s kid is applying. What I can say for certain is that the hundred-plus adults that asked about my kids’ applications didn’t care.]</p>
<p>After so many posts from people who hate being asked, I no longer ask where kids are applying or what they are looking at. But it irks me because I really, truly am interested. I loved seeing all these kids grow up and discover their interests. But now I just ask if people are surviving application season and let them be forthcoming if the want to be.</p>
<p>I work in higher Ed with incoming freshmen. I love knowing where kids are heading.</p>
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<p>This is exactly how I feel. I really am interested.</p>
<p>I’m also very interested. I ask about DD’13 friends all the time. I’m not doing it as an excuse to talk about DD as she posted her SCEA acceptance on FB so everyone already knows. Her classmates have gotten into some really good schools so far and I can’t wait to hear more in April. </p>
<p>Before we heard from SCEA school we would answer the question with UVA (instate) and “a few other schools”.</p>
<p>Me too Mathmom…I no longer have a kid applying, so I have nothing to talk about and I always ask…I am genuinely interested, especially if I can pimp my alma mater.</p>
<p>Me too. I’ve gotten to know so many if these kids, and I really love to hear what they’ve got planned. Very genuinely excited for them, and very interested.</p>
<p>Interesting can be seen as noisy. Just saying. My daughter found it irksome and noisy.</p>
<p>I can think of at least one good thing that has come out of an inquiry about where someone is applying to college. I asked one of my son’s friends (a year older) where he was thinking about school. He seemed intelligent but I had no idea about his grades or SAT scores, just that he seemed to my untrained ear to be a talented singer. His answer was the local citywide college which he wasn’t happy about. It turned out that it was his only choice because of money, but I suggested that he might check out some of the better regional state schools for scholarships. Long story short, he ended up at one of the regional state schools for the same money his parents would have paid for the local city college.</p>
<p>This is an advantage of living in CA. You can brush off inquiries by saying your kid is applying to a bunch UCs (and/or CSUs) and some other schools. :)</p>