<p>^Eloquent AND charming?</p>
<p>What a catch.</p>
<p>Thz Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>just go up to her and say something like:</p>
<p>"you're in my psychology class right?" she probably wont be but that works for you. then say "oh, im sorry, i guess i got you confused with someone else. but by the way, what's your name?"</p>
<p>from then on, she'll pretty much steer the conversation wherever she feels like it. trust me, any girl would be flattered that a random guy came up to her and approached her kindly, and with respect.</p>
<p>if you are meeting a girl the first time, and see her eyes widen and her pupils get larger, there is a good chance she likes you. Therefore you go from it from there. Its the stare they give you the first time they meet you. Its very distictive. You may have only one chance to see this; make sure you are always aware.</p>
<p>Oh this thread just totally made my day!</p>
<p>I am going to go with the friend route. Friends are great. And being stuck in the "friend territory" is not at all a bad "consolation" prize.</p>
<p>My boyfriend is my best friend. Sometimes I forget that I'm in a romantic relationship with him when I'm around him - and I don't mean that in the sense that I'm not attracted to him or whatnot. I mean that I enjoy being with him so much that I don't even need the romantic stuff anymore to have fun with him. That's because we were such good friends before we got together. And because we had such a strong friendship before we got together, I am hoping that <em>if</em> (God forbid) it doesn't work out, we'll still be very good friends afterwards, because I certainly wouldn't wanna lose the friendship that we have.</p>
<p>Anyway, my point is that if two people start slow and end up as "just friends," which has been posited by some people here - I would have to disagree. Starting slow and getting to know the person well are the most practical (and least hurtful) guidelines to start a real relationship ("real" being the operative word here). If you two end up as jsut friends, then that's great - you both gain a friend. </p>
<p>Of course, for the people here who are just looking to get laid... well, more power to you! :P Just don't go around breaking hearts, or don't go around breaking your own ;)</p>
<p>
[quote]
Of course, for the people here who are just looking to get laid...
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Don't waste your time trying to make friends if you're trying to get laid.</p>
<p>make some friends. i originally didnt even think about going out with a friend i had been spending alot of time with, and we ended up dating after i returned from a trip to europe. i guess she missed me that much =)</p>
<p>I'm not in college yet, but I feel qualified to give a bit of advice on this subject.</p>
<p>Topic: how to avoid becoming the nice guy friend</p>
<p>Well basically, if you are the friend that she comes to, its your fault. Theres no mystery to this, it didn't just happen one day. If a girl comes to you whining about something, and you are trying to get with her, not be her friend, then you need to tell her, "Look, I'm not your boyfriend, I don't have time to listen to all your emotional crap." Albeit less harshly than that. Most guys are happy to have any kind of interaction with a girl they're crushing on, but this is completely the wrong sort of contact. Don't let her dump all her emotional baggage on you, tell her that it isn't what you're there for. If any of you guys were trying to get some, took a wrong turn somewhere, and BOOM ended up in friend territory, thats probably what happened.</p>
<p>just my two cents...</p>
<p>Actually, Spyder, I have to strongly disagree. My grad school BF & I got together by mutually supporting one another about our absent loves (his GF was in his hometown & my BF was several 1000 miles away beginning his teaching career). If either of us had told the other that we didn't have time or energy to share emotional issues & support, we would NOT have ended up as BF & GF (& endured for several years thereafter). We did have a very strong relationship & nearly got married.</p>
<p>i would tend to think that would be an anomaly</p>
<p>but there are a lot of approaches to dating, w/e works for you is best</p>
<p>Actually, Spyder, it happens a LOT more often than you'd think. In fact, several of my friends actually married the guys who consoled them about their distant loves. A solid friendship is a great basis for a romantic relationship in my book & many of the happiest folks I know married their best friends. I've been happily married for nearly 20 years (as have many of my friends & family members), so I know of what I speak.</p>
<p>alright guess im way off base then, thats just what i do personally, and it works for me</p>
<p>
[quote]
I've been happily married for nearly 20 years (as have many of my friends & family members), so I know of what I speak.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>But not with that same person right? You said earlier that you two nearly got married which means I guess you two broke it off. Was the person you married one of those guys that consoled you?</p>
<p>Actually, pretty much all the men I dated were guys I was 1st & foremost buddies with, as is true for nearly all my friends. If all that holds the couple together is hormones, lust & chemistry, those relationships tend not to endure into lasting marriages.</p>
<p>I've only been married to the same husband now for 19 years; very few of my friends have gotten divorces & yes, many married the men who consoled them thru tough times. Being a good listener & good friend is invaluable for helping weather the tough times of a long-term relationship, whether romantic or platonic or anything in between.</p>
<p>Guys and girls... if you like someone simply ask them on a date or out for some coffee-from there you see if you want to pursue another. Please don't scared about the asking-what does it matter in the grand scheme of things anway?</p>
<p>Ok, I feel like chiming in here with my own sob story.<br>
I was in love with a girl I could not have. B/n my sophomore and junior years of high school I did a summer program at a CA university. At that program I met a girl from a far away country (Near East). I spent every moment I could with her. She is truly gorgeous and very smart, sweet, etc. Anyway, we really had what I think was an incredible bond during that short summer program, but she had a boyfriend back home. Well, it was a long, sad hug on both our sides when the program ended and she had to leave. I thought for sure I'd never see her again. As it turns out, I did a summer study program in her home country and we happened to be in the same city at the same time, so I saw her one evening. I spent $150 on cab fare to see her. She was more beautiful (<em>sparkled</em>) than I had remembered, but it was a group thing (she was with a group of friends at a resort celebrating her high school graduation) and it was short -- we didn't get to really have any private time. Furthermore, she was still dating the same guy (who wasn't there). Another sad hug. Well, now she is going to a top university in the US, but far from my own. I recently learned that she broke up with her boyfriend, but I am over a thousand miles away.<br>
I am thinking of making a trip to the city she is at with a friend (under the guise of a vacation/random fun trip) but I know that I would truly be going to see her. Well, thats where things are now. Life is tough, thought I'd share.</p>
<p>Not to disregard rockofeller's interesting story:
But Captaincharisma, I love you. Funniest poster I've seen in a while on here.
I think it's the first time anyone actually used the phrase [a girl's] "little hole" on the CC site, and the post is still up. LOL</p>
<p>@icefalcon7:</p>
<p>I thought I'd never post in this thread, but. . .</p>
<p>Captaincharisma is deliberately funny. S/he is [url=<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll%5Dtrolling%5B/url">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll]trolling[/url</a>].</p>
<p>What I want to know is how to find a girl with any morals in college. I mean, the girls here call themselves "b___hes" all the time, always drink, and are always involved in sexual relations. Honestly, I haven't met anyone yet who has any decency.</p>
<p>I have friends who are 16 years old and more mature than this.</p>
<p>Lol, I'll go out with you MacTech! :) And here was I thinking it was hard to find guys who weren't stupid idiots...</p>