<p>I actually find it very flattering when guys get awkward talking to me. I don't start thinking, "geez, what a loser!"</p>
<p>^ me too!!</p>
<p>Heh, trying being the one who's awkward. :(</p>
<p>a lot of nice, attractive girls never get asked on dates because the guys are too shy....look her up on facebook, make sure she's not dating somebody, and....ask away. If you're too shy for that, ask her to do the group thing as in....some of us guys are going to the movies, do you girls want to go? This way, you can get over the girls roaming in packs, which I hear guys hate. Also, use "we", "us", "you girls". Less awkward becuase you spread the rejection around if it doesn't work out. Good luck!</p>
<p>I love the topic title of that thread which is linked. Also, the conflicting information from various parties is lovely. :)</p>
<p>I actually find it very flattering when guys get awkward talking to me. I don't start thinking, "geez, what a loser!"</p>
<p>TOTALLY agree. it's totally ok if you guys are awkward. we don't want to make you feel bad. if anything at least i'd want to talk.</p>
<p>I dont get it. Im reading these post's and I swear I want to hit some of these girls over the head. </p>
<p>How low is your intelligence that you have to sit and wonder why guys ask you out when you flirt with them? </p>
<p>I mean the reason the dating and love scene is so rough and tough for guys is because we are being mislead by girls who dont even know what they want. </p>
<p>I think its best to not take advice from a girl.</p>
<p>And most girls like a guys attention but will mostly remain friends with him. Its the guy who can maintian his independence and not become infatuated with a woman. </p>
<p>You still have to remember that a woman is still a female and biologically she thinks diffrently and has diffrent things that attract partners. </p>
<p>So most things girls say are just smoke and mirror's. </p>
<p>To get what you want you have to be secure in your own masculinity.</p>
<p>Why dont girls go around asking guys to date them? Bcuz its our job because we have to find the balls to ask them out, and why do you think they dont like a man who professes his love for her soon, bcuz she wants to know that you are the greatest catch and that other women are also after you, so your valuable. That you only selectivley give your attention to only the woman who "DESERVE" your attention. </p>
<p>Dating is just a game, and to be good at it, you need to learn about female psychology, or you will get your heart stepped on.</p>
<p>yeah i'd actually feel weird jsut going up to some girl i dont know and just ask her out on a date all of a sudden...she'd probably think i'm weird or crazy...just not the approach id take...but i've never been on a date before, so i have no idea what to do haha</p>
<p>I guess you need to meet, talk to them and just establish like a small aquintence, and get their info. Like if there in your class you can talk to them for a few classes and get their number. And then call them during the weekend. </p>
<p>Or at a party you can approach and just make general convo and then at the end get her number and bounce.</p>
<p>Call her later during the week and ask her out and to make it easier bring some friends along, and tell her to do the same, it would be alot of fun.</p>
<p>i've had small talk with classmates and stuff, but doesn't go anywhere lol..more of the friends type of thing</p>
<p>As far as not taking advice/trusting girls goes, let me tell you I have several female friends but trust or take advice from three of them. Somehow they are all younger by me by at least a year. One of them is probably smarter than everyone I graduated with.</p>
<p>For comparison's sake, most of my guy friends are trustworthy and give good advice. My best buddy is 31, but the rest of them are all 18 or 19 (and the ones who aren't 19 will be soon). I'd say six of those guys fall into the aforementioned category. The rest I wouldn't trust for the most part.</p>
<p>Adding up the numbers, there are ten people I have faith in. That's out of the hundreds of friends and acquaintances I have. That list also doesn't count Mom and Dad and the rest of the family, partially because I am not including family in that count.</p>
<p>But as far as girls thinking differently, yes. There is a reason those letters "fe" precede "male" there--it indicates a difference! And for the record, those three girls are not tomboys (but all three do play sports). Instead, I often found them to be much more insightful than the guys. They also seemed warmer in terms of personality--where I'd give a guy a birthday present he'd quickly put it in his locker and mutter a quick thank you, the girl would handle it with care, thank me about five times, and give me a hug. True, I don't want the guy hugging me as a way of saying thank you, but I know that three days later he would forget who even gave it to him. The girl would remember a year later what she got. Being a guy, I confess that I often don't remember that stuff either--one of those guys gave me a video on Saturday and I know that in a month I'll forget he was the one who gave me the tape.</p>
<p>I've never been much of a dater. Instead I was good friends with the girls. Due to my age difference I feel that I was sometimes treated as the big brother figure to the girls I mentioned earlier (two of them had no brothers and the one that did had her brothers leave for college by the time I knew her). While I obviously didn't get the dating scene like some of my friends got, I had people I could just chill with. Didn't matter that I was a guy, we were all humans. Some people wrap girls in infatuations, I wrapped them in humanity.</p>
<p>And as far as going up to them and asking them out, I'd only ask someone to do something with me if I'd known them for at least a month. If I'm going to date someone, I want to get to know them.</p>
<p>In the end, my no-date-let's-be-friends attitude paid off in high school. While I would have enjoyed going out with some of the girls I met, there were never any conflicts like the ones I saw my friends go through. At least one of the six guys I mentioned has a problem with each of those three girls.</p>
<p>So I'm thinking that the best approach to take in college is to know someone as a friend and if all goes well and you can tell she sort of likes you, just ask her if she wants to hang out with you somewhere--you know, like the mall or someplace. Logic tells me something more may come of that.</p>
<p>There is this girl that I like whoe likes the same band that I really like (Rascal Flatts) and they are coming up to Rochester. I really want to ask her to come with me to the concert (being that I have almost front row seats should help maybe :)). Hopefully she will say yes!</p>
<p>
[quote]
You still have to remember that a woman is still a female and biologically she thinks diffrently and has diffrent things that attract partners.</p>
<p>So most things girls say are just smoke and mirror's.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Wow, what a load of sexist crap.</p>
<p>I agree with the first statement, but the second is as UCLA: very sexist</p>
<p>Some girls are honest every now and then, but usually you shouldn't pay any attention to them because when a girl says something it means something entirely different from what you'd think she means. For example, when a girl says she wants a nice, sensitive guy she doesn't mean she wants a guy thats really nice and overly sensitive to everyone. That's a chode that gets stepped on by society. She wants a guy that's socially dominant, confident, and always in control who is also nice sometimes and sensitive on occasion when appropriate. A good general rule of thumb is not to do things a girl says but to do those things a girls responds to. With some girls it's the same, with the vast majority these things are different. I'd explain more but it's best for every individual to figure it out by themselves. Me telling you isn't going to teach you anything. These types of things have to be learned out in the world.</p>
<p>Lots of girls(not all, mainly really attractive ones) get off on being valued by a guy, but once they realize a guy likes them, they can move to the next guy. A girl is socially dominant to you, then that means every guy in her life that's dominant to her is also dominant to you by implication. No girl wants a guy like that. (If the girl likes the guy first, this is obviously all different since she will want him to like her.)</p>
<p>What everyone in this thread who's having trouble with girls needs to drop is their ego. You are not that special. Rejection happens. The guys that get tons of girls do so because they've been rejected plenty of times too. You can't be afraid of getting hurt. You have to drop your ego completely in dealing with a chick, so that if the interaction doesn't go well you can move on to another immediattely after. The problem is guys get rejected and dwell on it. There are so many reasons why things couldnt work out, she might have a boyfriend, she might be seeing a few people, she might be really busy, some girls just aren't looking for a relationship all the time, the two of you could not have anything at all in common, she could be really upset about something with her family, she could be in any type of bad mood. If you were to ask out 10 girls and get one yes, thats decent starting out. It's all a numbers game.</p>
<p>Oh, and screw the friends first. Dating is how you get to know someone. Just don't call it a date, I hate that term, just grab a cup of coffee with her or take a walk, if you're going to click you will and you can hold off on the whole romantic thing for a few weeks if you want to know her first. Friends first is a terrible mindset going in because you're treating these mindsets of friends and dating as black and white when its a spectrum. There is so much gray area with chicks its not even funny. Just call it hanging out, it could lead to friendship or it could lead to more, but you're the guy and you'll decide that after you get to know her. You always want the getting to know the person process to be full of mystery and ambiguity since she will think and wonder about you more.</p>
<p>ndhawk,</p>
<p>I agree with you in part, but since my girlfriend now of six years was my best friend for a year prior, "friends first" can sometimes work out. I do agree, however, with the gray area.</p>
<p>What's funny though, is if you take every "girl" in your post and replace it with a "guy" it still pretty much says the same thing:</p>
<p>Don't be an idiot. Fin.</p>
<p>I don't really think it is as complicated as some people are implying. Find some common ground, and then feel it out from there. Maybe you'll find out that you both like anime or kayaking...or maybe you'll find out that she's annoying. If you like the same stuff, try sharing it with her. Lend her your Arcade Fire CD, invite her over to watch Rushmore, or (if you really don't know) ask if you can buy her a cup of coffee/a drink/dinner.</p>
<p>The social stuff can be really difficult, but if you're attending the same college and taking the same class with some girl, you've already got an icebreaker. If she doesn't seem keen to converse with you after a few reasonable attempts, then she's probably not interested (for whatever reason).</p>
<p>My experience (however limited it has been, considering I've been monogamous over a quarter of my life) is that the best thing to do is to listen to KarmaFairy. She knows what's up, homies.</p>
<p>this is a funny thread. it's not hard. Most guys here are smart enough to have a reasonable conversation and probably not too bad looking. It's just like the 40 year old virgin. Several of you are putting the pussy on a pedestal. You're making the pussy out to be some sort of Greek goddess named Pussalia.</p>
<p>rotflmfao.</p>