<p>If I had a dollar for every person that told me that I really did want a boyfriend even though I claimed not to, I wouldn't need any damn loans. Just because those people all seem to be obsessed with needing to be part of a couple, doesn't mean that I am. What I "want from a guy" is for him to stop looking at me as an object to be won over, really. This seems to be a really difficult concept for people to understand, most of the time.</p>
<p>Try observing folks around you & seeing how people interact when they have no romantic interest & when they do. See if there may be something in how you interact that may lead boys to believe you have some romantic interest in you. </p>
<p>Sometimes, we unconsciously give off signals that are misinterpreted by folks who want to believe we are romantically interested. I know that historically I have always been lucky in getting boys/men to know when I wanted to be "just friends" & when I was interested in more, so there were rarely those awkward times where one of us was interested in being pals & the other in being sweethearts. If you have some close girlfriends, you may wish to ask them if they can be honest with you & whether they have suggestions.</p>
<p>I don't mean to make you self-conscious, but it is something to consider. For me, it helps to think of guys I want to be pals with as "brothers" or similar & try to get them to think of me as a sister or pal. This system has always worked for me & I've always had lots of male pals in my life, when I was single & now that I'm married.</p>
<p>All you need to do is go up to them and say
"hey baby can i be your derivative, so i can lay tangent to all your curves."
Works everytime for me!</p>
<p>I don't have a lot of friends at my school anymore, since I switched majors. Most of the people in the new major are guys and most of the people in general seem really unfriendly, so when someone does talk to me I tend to think, oh wow a friendly person! Maybe I get too overly excited about it, or something. And the girls definately don't talk to me so I guess the guys can't compare reactions or anything. I definately don't flirt or get all touchy-feely or anything like that, though.</p>
<p>just don't ask out anyone...enjoy a loner life...it's easier on your wallet</p>
<p>You lost friends because you switched majors? that's ridiculous and uncool of your former "friends."</p>
<p>alas noone apriciates my humor</p>
<p>I wouldn't be so quick to call them friends if they don't communicate with you simply because of a "major switch."</p>
<p>Yeaahhh...well they were all friends from the major, and it's kind of a cliquey major to begin with, and they weren't very close friends, it just appeals to my sense of pride more to refer to them as such than to say I'm a big loser without any friends. ;) The people in the new major are really cliquey too, apparently.</p>
<p>If you don't mind me asking what major did you switch from and what's your major now? Would you know if most majors are like this, you know cliquey?</p>
<p>The original major was architecture, which I do believe tends to be a bit cliquey due to the fact that the students spend a great deal of time locked up together in the studio gluing little bits of wood together at 3am, and so on. I think that's what makes the main difference - having to spend a lot of time together with those people outside of regular class hours. Being in a small school with a small number of people in the major adds to it as well, since you keep seeing the same group of 50 or so people in every one of your classes. I think this tends to be pretty rare, though.</p>
<p>I have noticed something and Its not fair but how come its always the confident, good looking guys who get ALL the girls. What im trying to say is that average guys have such a hard time finding mates while good looking guys have it so easy and its not fair to those looking for relationships. While average looking girls just have to flirt a little bit and they can find a man if they want to. Its like the standards for men are so much higher than a woman, a woman with a pulse and a nice pair of breasts is all that she needs to get most men to be in a relationship if she so choses that particular man. But a man has to try hard and go around and ask girls out and maybe 1 out of 100 will like him, if he is average and doesnt play any sports or has big muscles or is very popular or have a very outgoing and exciting persoanlity, its unlikely he will have women knocking at his door. </p>
<p>It feels like the whole population of women run after those few guys and that everyone else is junk and as they get older they realize that there not getting anywhere an their standards get lower, and they eventually settle for somebody whom they never would consider dating when they where younger. Thats not fair and thats not right.</p>
<p>I happen to be the nice guy, shy, quiet and introspective and even though I sound like Im *****ing, I accept what my personality is and trying my best to change it.</p>
<p>I've noticed that women take advatage of certain facts, and thats why women tend to have so many male 'friends' there just hopefuls who the girls has rejected, very rarely will you find a boy girl friendship that isnt sexual at some level.</p>
<p>I think we men kick ourselves in the foot when we have such low standards, what I mean is that, if any decent woman was to say "lets F" and she was serious, most men would accept and I think thats wrong and hurting the dating game for average men. If men dont expect more from women then, they are placing a lower value on themselves and make themselves easily obtainable.</p>
<p>"While average looking girls just have to flirt a little bit and they can find a man if they want to."</p>
<p>Guys could too . . . you "nice guys" just lack the confidence to go out and really talk to a girl.</p>
<p>Look, I did the whole "I'm a nice guy why cant I get any girl, why do the girls always have to go for the guys who are horrible to them when I could be such a great boyfriend" for a while, then a female friend yelled at me to stop being such a whiner.</p>
<p>There are plenty of girls out there and not so many super hot guys so logically the super hot guys cant get all the girls. If you stand on the track complaining about how nice guys finish last, you will finish last cause everyone else is running, it's a self-fulfilling prophesy. But if you get up, get out there and most importantly have confidence in yourself, things will work out and then everyone will think youre the "confident, good looking guy who gets all the girls." Trust me, it works (losing some weight and wearing nice clothes helps too ;) jk)</p>
<p>BTW, I think thats why guys have hot streaks and slumps. Cause when things are working out, you have confidence and they keep going well but if things start going poorly you lose confidence and then you're stuck in a rut until something changes.</p>
<p>Oh, and to answer the title question: go to parties, talk to girls, ask them out (just make sure they're not too drunk, or its just gonna suck for you in the morn)</p>
<p>Or if you don't go to parties, go to a place where other people who don't party hang out, talk to girls, ask them out (and no worries about the drunk thing)</p>
<p>
You forgot, "or is rich or drives an expensive car or wears designer labels."</p>
<p>But otherwise, yeah, you got it right.</p>
<p>Not that the "nice, shy, quiet and introspective guy" NEVER gets girls, but think of it this way - the "nice, shy, quiet and introspective" GIRL doesn't have guys beating down her door.</p>
<p>It's all about confidence...</p>
<p>It's interesting, the "dating doctor" gave a talk at my school today and he said something very similar to what I did in my first post. Don't be the "nice guy" who girls can always run to when something's gone wrong, be aloof, be busy, make them miss you, and you have the control.</p>
<p>I would think that an introspective person would be a better candidate than someone who never really examines themselves, don't you think? Just hypothetically speaking of course.</p>
<p>Well, nobody wants an extreme introvert or extrovert. You want a relatively balanced human being.</p>
<p>An introspective person could easily as well have an extroverted side as well. I have a friend who is like that. And by the way, you are right. There should be a good balance between the two. I can agree with that.</p>
<p>I'm a bit more extroverted than introverted, but I certainly examine myself.</p>
<p>But yeah, you don't want a loud jerk.</p>