<p>I'm hoping this is a bit better than the cliche "omg I hate my roommate" threads, but here it goes:</p>
<p>My roommate and I peacefully coexist for the most part, but I feel like she doesn't like me much as a person. We don't have any major issues, but I have to admit that we're on different schedules which I'm sure annoys both of us to some extent. I just get the feeling that she doesn't particularly like me because she's really not friendly toward me at all, but she seems perfectly nice and practically outgoing with some of my friends. Around the beginning of the semester I basically told her to inform me if I did anything that annoyed her or she didn't like, but I feel like I could be the world's worst roommate and she wouldn't directly confront me about it. I really make an effort not to wake her up, am not a slob, and my friends don't get why she seems so aloof around me. Is there anything I can do to be a more likeable roommate? I try making small talk with her and everything, but that only goes so far...</p>
<p>She is just not a demonstrative person.
The best compliment is she is comfortable enough with you to be herself and not have to put on a happy face by being outgoing and friendly all the time.
For some people not having to talk, entertain, or engage with the other person means you two are co existing harmoniously.
You don’t have to make her your best friend.
Being courteous, thoughtful and mindful of the other person is as good as it gets in the roommate lottery.</p>
<p>First off, I want to congratulate you on admitting it could be your fault, and not immediately blaming it on your roommate. Kudos to you.</p>
<p>I know how it is to feel awkward about bringing up things that annoy/bug/bother you, especially with someone you don’t know particularly well. What I’ve done before is to write a note and leave it somewhere you know they’ll find. I did that once when a hallmate said something particularly hurtful, and I didn’t want to have a face-to-face conversation about it. And sometimes it works when you don’t know what to say. So if you’re worried that you’re annoying her, try to leave her a short letter on her desk or somewhere explaining your concerns. She may not reply, but at least she’ll be aware, and you’ll know that you’ve made an effort to improve your relationship with her.</p>
<p>I personally think it’s perfectly fine to simply ‘peacefully coexist’ with your roommate. My roommate and I are in a similar situation. We each have our own group of friends, and we get along fine, but we are in no way best friends. Both of us have this little fear that we’re going to annoy each other, but we use the leave-a-note system to let each other know if we have any issues (since we’re both rather passive-aggressive). In general, we’ve found it best if we let each other do our own thing, and be okay with the fact that we’re not best friends. In fact, we’ve gotten more comfortable around each other once we decided we don’t have to be attached at the hip.</p>