If she is truly miserable, is it possible to come home at winter break and take classes as an unmatriculated student at the school in your town where she might transfer? I would think she could apply and get in again anyway, but taking a class there and doing well would help too.
I understand the whole thing about asking her to commit to making her current school work, but there are times when it is better to be flexible and leave. Luckily, a professional is involved and can help sort that out. If the answer ends up going home after this semester, I would just be careful about conveying a sense of failure. If you stated expectation is that she commit to “making it work,” then she will have a huge sense of failure if she does leave. I think leaving can be framed in very positive terms and the outcome will be better that way
Thank you @compmom. It isn’t possible to take classes there as a non matriculated student but perhaps a community college could work for the semester if need be. No, I definitely would not not frame it as her being unsuccessful if she decided to transfer. I just know she loved this college so much and really wanted it to work, so I just want her to have enough time to see what happens. But we have told her she has our complete support in any decision she makes. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you think they are going to. But maybe instead of asking her tocommit to make it work, we could ask her to just see where things go and be open to new friendships and experiences, and if it still doesn’t feel right to her, then it’s a good time to move on.
You are doing a wonderful job in a tough situation. It’s tough to know! I guess the best thing to say is that with support like you are providing, it seems that no matter what happens it will work out. Good luck!
It sounds like most of these issues would occur regardless of where the student enrolls. Before transferring, it may be prudent to explore why the student thinks the grass is greener elsewhere, and if that is truly likely to be the case.
