How to finish my transfer essay!

<p>I am having TROUBLE writing and FINISHING my essay
I am looking to transfer to either hospitality or communications in NYU or Syracuse because my school does not offer the major. BUt i dont know if i am going in the right direction with my essay.
I also need help on finishing the essay because i feel like im losing focus. I really wanted to talk about how i went on college tours to these campuses and thats how i leanred about their program. but i dont know how to integrate it in such a short essay...am i even starting on the right tracl lol?
It's hard to write the essay because i cannot be school specific
PLEASE TAKE A LOOK! any constructive criticism is welcome</p>

<p>Thanks!!</p>

<p>Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.</p>

<p>My first year as a freshmen was no more than usual; waking up for classes; falling asleep in the library; studying for midterms; paying for ridiculous cafeteria prices. All seemed to run smoothly and not a single thing about being a freshmen as told by my sister was left out. Even the so-called “freshmen fifteen” got the best of me; I experienced it all. But it soon came to me that I am merely experiencing “school”, what was meant to be “college” still lingers vaguely in open space. </p>

<p>“Finding a college that fits you is key,” a short, but constantly repeated statement from my high school counselor echoes my mind. I enrolled in Stony Brook University with hopes of trying to find the right fit for myself, taking courses that interest me the most and participating in the institution’s cultural clubs. But interest gradually worn out and I failed to find passion in my studies. A year into my academics I settled for Information Systems major and thought that I have pinned down the rest of my college life writing computer codes. How naïve of a thought that was when I later realized the truest of me from my social life. </p>

<p>The semester I enrolled in college, I joined the Taiwanese Students Association and ran for a board position. The club was fairly young and it was in our best interest to hold events that bigger clubs would be willing to sponsor for. My understanding of college life slowly forged a picture as setting up events, promoting club activities, and searching for sponsors began to engage much of my after school hours. The club spurred my interest and I later ran for VP of the club; although with significant help from the other board members, since I was not the most senior one, we organized one of the most successful Halloween event on campus. The easiest aspect of my life to overlook when considering about my academics turns out to make a solid connection with my passion.</p>

<p>The reasons for my pursue of transfer was ...?</p>

<p>First you should probably edit your post and PM people your essay to read. Don’t want people taking your ideas. Next I really liked the introduction, but the rest was informative yet took awhile to get to the point of you wanting to transfer.</p>

<p>thank you but how do i do that?</p>

<p>bump …bump</p>

<p>I really need help on this please?
Is my first paragraph making me seem like im just a lackadaisical student?</p>

<p>Honestly… a little… Maybe you can make it your 2nd paragraph?? Start with your ambitions… your aspirations… Mostly how it all started… I could help you… maybe you need to PM me a couple of details… :)</p>