<p>I have so many acquaintances but probably no real friends. When I call some friends who I consider best, they either don't respond or when respond they tell you they cant
t talk and they'll call you back. Emails, facebook messages get easily ignored, yet with those people I have spend some best moments of my life. In past, I spent with them every weekend. One time, one of them recognized me on the street but did not stop (maybe because I was on the other side of street), I texted him message to ask if it was him, yet he confirmed that it was him, but said I should have said hi (well in response I told I did not wanted yell to hear the whole street hearing me). The problem is I have always told them first hi or I was the always one coming to their dorms. THe problem might be English and accent. But I speak slowly and I try really hard to learn. </p>
<p>And once when I was on confession in catholic church, and confessed him sins of anger which some of them came from loneliness, and he noticed that I have some big desires for my young life and he commented that a bad spirit is ruining my life and he invited me to ask jesus christ to come to my life.</p>
<p>That' s was nice advice but in reality how its practical? What would real psychologist say?</p>
<p>its nice to make many new friends around but what about long time friends? Especially with these you do not know how they really feel about hanging out with you?</p>
<p>people reading this post? How do you start making friends? How to you maintain those friendships? How long they last? Were you able to manage them for at least all high school years or all college years?</p>
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people reading this post? How do you start making friends? How to you maintain those friendships? How long they last? Were you able to manage them for at least all high school years or all college years?
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<p>I start making friends serendipitously.
I maintain my friendships naturally.
They last until they end.
I don't manage them.</p>
<p>In all seriousness (I just read your first post), those guys sound like jerks, and they aren't really your friends. You probably hang out with them, but they just haven't told you to brush off. They sure are intimating that you're a nuisance, though, so you should probably make new ones.</p>
<p>And when you do make new ones, the relevance of my above post is that you shouldn't have to scheme or persuade or beg. Ironically, the harder you try to make close friends, the less likely you are to do it.</p>
<p>You are not in high school, you are in college. People meet and then they depart, this is the fact of college. Most people you will meet you will never see again.</p>
<p>Agree with ee33ee on both posts. I've made more friends with the "I don't give a f***" mentality than I do when I go out of my way to try. I mean, I try to make friends and maintain friendships, but it's not worth forcing it and there comes a point when it's not worth trying any more with somebody. It's something you just have to "know" which you will get better at eventually. </p>
<p>And you don't have to make a hundred friends each semester. A few here and there is perfectly normal.</p>
<p>one question of many to ask: why so many people are ingenuous about what they want? why they pretend to like people they really don't? They just keep quiet and don't wanna reveal real reasons! They just don't care what that person at other end feels, even if that person did not do anything wrong or if did was that involuntary. At least they should own an explanation and not be so much self-centered. And then when eventually you meet them they act like that hasn't append and they act like they have always been like best friends forever? Is it their some kind of tactic that they use it, so eventually if they ever accidentally rush in you in real life, like in job, name referencing or even interview, you have a fond memory of them instead of poor one? Well if they hope for that, I won't move a finger to help them in future for sure. That's just purely egoistic and not very nice. </p>
<p>On side note thouh, I talked about that ignorance with international students for domestic students who emigrated from Europe too (UK, Germany). I am personally from Poland. They explained me that they have met that kind of attitude from Americans too and its very common- that when they make friends, meet them often and after some time they act toward them like they don't know them when they try to contact them. They said its very popular in North America - especially in Chicago. Its some kind of cultural attitude that it is just all about me and no one else. They said not to worry about that, because it does not necessarily mean that they don't like you, it is just poor manners.</p>
<p>It's like that in Philadelphia too. People are all about themselves. They might try to act friendly towards you for superficial reasons (eg: to make it look like they have more friends, use you for future job situations, etc) but really they are concerned about boosting themselves more than anything, which is understandable because it's every man for himself in this world. I wouldn't take it personal. Just worry about yourself and enjoy the better things in life.</p>
<p>yeah, this is all true. people may smile or acknowledge you if they see you, but don't expect a full-on intense convo. that's just the way it is.</p>
<p>but, if you want to make close friends, i think it helps to find people you can do an activity with. for example, if you play tennis, then go play tennis with people. tlak about how you got started in tennis, why you like it. find common bonds. it may take awhile, but you will find your niche.</p>
<p>it helps to open yourself up to others; tell them something intimate about yourself and listen to others when they need someone to talk to. appear open and receptive and people will come.</p>
<p>Life long friendships are the ones that almost seem to force themselves on the two people, not the other way around. Great friends just happen, all you need to do is put yourself out there and meet people. Eventually make a (or several) really good friends.</p>
<p>I haven't really tried to make friends, but it's just some general advice:</p>
<p>Be nice and friendly to everyone you meet, and just be a nice person overall. Friendships will happen naturally. I've met many people who've become nice 'acquaintances' but there are also a couple people who have become really close friends of mine--like so close that we act like siblings.</p>
<p>to those who just stopped talking to me, I will just stop responding to them at all, whether it is on a street or in school. I will even block them on facebook and I don't wanna know them at all. </p>
<p>To mcb52 I have been like that and it did not help. Some people thought that I am even too nice. Currently I am in process of making new friends who this year appear to be better people than those who I met last year. We hang out and do all things together. Who the hell needs old friends anyway, especially those who disappoint me by ditching. They weren't real friends from the beginning.</p>
<p>aigoo you right. Well these guys that assured me that they will meet me eventually but they still ditch me. They are real jerks. One of them keep saying is too busy with school, but also told me he hanged out once with his old friend from home to see a movie on some weekend. Eventually he himself start chatting with me on AIM. Another one, I tried to text him he did not reply. Sent him email no response. Met him on chat to ask him whats going on, and he told me to stop being so blunt about it. He told me that his phone does not work but I don't believe that. I sent him email later to clarify and he did not respond. But I know he was there, since he wrote on someone else wall few hours later I sent. Its been like 7 months since I have not seen them (we did not talk again until late fall) and they still "can't" hang out with me. I wouldn't worry about that, I would ditch them and even tell them to f* off, but the problem is I am interesting in joining a fraternity next semester where there are other guys I know and they're ok, but these two guys are already in, and I do not wanna join some other fraternity, with bunch of strange guys just because there are 2 jerks.</p>
<p>Is this some kind of game, giving runaround?</p>
<p>It's clear at this point that they don't really like you and only use you to laugh at you. You need to stop talking and trying to hang out with them all together.</p>