<p>one of our friends got divorced last year. there was cheating involved, so it has been a messy thing. the parent are not getting along well and the boy, a junior now, has kind of given up thoughts of college because he doesn't think that anyone will be willing/able to pay for it.</p>
<p>i was thinking yesterday that he might be a good case to go to a lower tier college that will give him good $$$. what do you think? </p>
<p>i am not sure of his stats, but i think he used to be roughly in the same boat as my D ( top 20% - but no test scores yet.)</p>
<p>i think the parents are too wrapped in their own anger/lives and nobody is worrying about this kid and his college plans.</p>
<p>it doesn't help matters that the boy hates the dad for what he did which eventually tore the family apart.</p>
<p>i can get his stats if i ask him, i think.</p>
<p>would any of you have info on colleges that might be willing/able to do scholarship $$$ for this kid???</p>
<p>What state are you from? Some states will require a NCP (non custodial parent) to pay tuition even if not in the divorce agreeemnt? For the life of me, I can not understand why divorcing parents do not put in agreement who pays and how much. Its not rocket science. My X cheated to. So what, it doesnt make my responsibltiy to my D any less. Will either parent pay? A very few schools, NYU on my list will only look to custodial parent incme/assets.</p>
<p>How very sad for this young man! My neighbor's kid went through a similiar trial although her mother was willing to help. (the father was not). Here's what my friend's kid did. She accepted the fact that she could get an excellent education at her state schools for a reasonable cost and applied to those schools. She took some APs her senior year. (Our state schools are required to give credit for APs if you score a 3,4,or 5). Credit for college means she can graduate sooner. She started working a part-time job to save money for college. She and her mom took out some loans. Also, during the summer, she works and takes classes at her community college (very cheap tuition). Her state school will accept the community college work for credit toward graduation if she gets an A or a B. So, between loans, part-time work, and AP/community college credit, she is on track to get her degree fairly inexpensively.</p>
<p>i am in texas. i am not sure what is in the divorce decree, but i think that it was not covered for some reason. maybe it was, but i don't think so.</p>
<p>do you think it would be better to find a full tuition/full ride at a lesser school and have the kid have the "college experience" or do the scrimp/save/borrow and go to a better school?</p>
<p>texas schools are reasonable in cost, but any school is a lot if you don't have anything to start with.</p>
<p>The divorce decree should have some type of provision for support for the child in question. If not, Mom needs to re-visit her attorney and ask for support including the possibility of tuition/college payments. And, as this child is now a junior in HS, he could be asking questions as well.</p>
<p>Full tuition/full ride. There's a great thread around here somewhere about a mom (and I think she was in Texas, too) whose goal was to match her kids up with schools that would offer full rides.</p>
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he doesn't think that anyone will be willing/able to pay for it.
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</p>
<p>Maybe he could figure out a way to pay for it himself. Maybe he will have a talent that schools will be willing to give him merit scholarships. There is a great Marine program where:</p>
<p>1) Apply for the PLC program (Marine Officer Training Program)
2) He enlists into the Marine Reserves
3) Goes through the 92 day boot camp (which is considered Active Duty)
4) After 90 days of active duty (which is fulfilled by the end of boot camp), he is eligible for the GI Bill. Note: This applies to WI, and am not sure about other states.
5) Attend college under the PLC program and GI Bill</p>
<p>GI Bill pays tuition, PLC program pays for a lot of living expenses. Yes, he will be committed to serving for a few years, but he gets a college degree.</p>
<p>Mike -
It's hard to say with out roughly knowing the socio-ecomonic background and current situation of the family. For instance, if both parents are high wage earning professionals - he would probably not qualify for financial aid.
However - if there is a big wage discrepancy and he lives with the lower wage earner - e.g. Dad makes $200,000 and Mom makes $50,000 - he could qualify for a great deal of financial aid that would not have been there prior to the divorce.
In this case he should be careful to choose a "FAFSA only" school.</p>
<p>Lots of kids from divorced families get enough federal and state financial aid to attend their state school.<br>
Also, there's no telling that if the parents had stayed together - they would be willing to part with their money - some will, some won't and it can be a bone of contention.</p>
<p>I would advise this young man to cast a wide net -depending on finances. Perhaps even stay close to home if necessary and concentrate on getting into a college and doing well. I can't emphasize enough the "doing well" part.</p>
<p>i am not sure what the dad makes, but i know the mom just went back to teaching after 15 years or so. so she makes around 50. i am sure the dad makes considerably more, but probably not 200. probably between 100 and 150, but that is just a guess.</p>
<p>he lives with mom.</p>
<p>thanks for the reserve info ... i know NOTHING about that.</p>
<p>Okay. If he applies to schools that only use the FAFSA then Dad's income won't be considered. He MAY qualify for federal grants and/or state grants and/or institutional grants.
There are some private schools that are FAFSA only schools - you really have to look at their financial aid pages. Sometimes kids get a good mix of merit aid and grant money.</p>
<p>He definitely needs to consider cost. You can't get blood from a stone. Dad may balk at being expected to write a check for $40,000/ each year, and who knows - maybe they spent the college fund on the divorce lawyers - if there was one.
However - if the boy only "needs" a couple of thousand a year - to get him in school then Dad may be more generous.</p>
<p>I know lots of divorced kids who have gotten lots of financial aid and their out of pocket was very little at a state school. The bottom line is he may not be able to afford to go where he wants to go but he will be able to go somewhere. Encourage him to suck it up and not dwell on the "situation" - doing well whereever he ends up is most important.</p>
<p>Just to expand on OperaDad's post #8, there are many government sponsored programs for people who are willing to commit several post-graduate years of work.</p>
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Encourage him to suck it up and not dwell on the "situation" - doing well whereever he ends up is most important.
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<p>This is great advice, but its a lot to ask for a 16/17 y.o. HOWEVER, the kid needs to try.</p>
<p>I'd suggest that the kid try to get a job NOW. I'd also suggest that he use this proof of maturity and determination to attend college to broach the subject with his parents ASAP.</p>
<p>I have seen on several threads that many colleges either offer payments on a montlhy basis or can point the student to companies who provide this payment option. I think the kid might look for schools that have that option since parents may find that more "do-able."</p>
<p>I would also suggest that the kid consider his grandparents (if he has them) as potential sourses of assistance, either in actual $$ or with the recently divorced parents. I know of one case where the kid had never been told that the GP's had set up an educational trust. I know of another situation where there were a lot of uncles and aunts who indicated a willingness to help. In that particular case, the mere fact that the parents' brothers and sisters said they would help "shamed" the biological parents into setting up an arrangement to fund college.</p>
<p>I think the kid needs to know that it is OK to "play hardball" on this. As OP indicated, the recently divorced parents may be so wrapped up in their issues that they cannot focus on college without being forced to do so.</p>
<p>Here are a few examples of FAFSA-only private colleges that he might want to look at, just to expand his options beyond the public colleges in your state:</p>
<ul>
<li>Chapman University (CA). Meets 100% of need.</li>
<li>Allegheny College (PA). Meets 95% of need on average. Has a calculator on their web site to get estimate of both need-based and merit aid.</li>
<li>Denison University (OH). Meets 99% of need on average.</li>
<li>Southwestern University (TX). Meets 87% of need on average.</li>
<li>Earlham College (IN). Meets 96% of need on average.</li>
<li>Cornell College (IA). Meets 93% of need on average.</li>
</ul>
<p>There are lots more, but that can give you a few ideas.</p>
<p>To expand on OperaDad's post a little bit:
There are a number of kids who join the military in order to pay or help pay for college.
The Marines PLC program is a good one that offeres tuition assistance. Army, Navy and AF all have ROTC programs and scholarships that will pay 100% of tuition, books and depending on the school - room and board. There is an 8 year commitment as Commissioned Officer - generally 4 year AD and 4 years reserves.
There are also service academies which do not charge tuition, room and board and pay a monthly salary.
Some kids also choose to enlist. With the New GI Bill - after 3 years active duty one qualfies for tuition books and a very generious living stipend.</p>
<p>The military is not for everyone - one needs to qualify medically, physically, academically and some programs are highly competitive. Not every kids has the desire to join the military and some just aren't cut out for it.
For the right kid with the right motivation, it can work out very well.</p>
<p>The timing of this boy's parental feud and divorce means that he must grow up just a little ahead of schedule. It is great that he has a mentor in the OP, but I think the best message needs to be simply that many people work their way through college and that should be Plan A. Plan B should be all the schools he might have attended had the divorce not blown up the family's willingness to contribute toward his college. Remember - many kids go to college w/o a single dime from their parents. The shock for this kid is that he wasn't aware that he might fall into that category.</p>
<p>So - if you really want to help this kid, work on the Plan A (community college, state colleges, summer jobs, etc) and then have Plan B applications also in the mix in case finances do pull through for the kid. </p>
<p>As long as I have my soap box out, I think it is entirely wrong that married parents get to <em>choose</em> if they wish to contribute to their children's college funds... whereas a divorced dad (it is almost always the dad) can be <em>forced</em> to contribute via the divorce decree. It should always remain the choice of parents (divorced or married) whether or not to contribute monies to their <em>adult</em> 18+ year old grown children.</p>
<p>fyi, children of divorced parents recieve on average less support than children in intact families. In my upper income area, the school foundation, supported by donations, helps with college app fees, of kids with too much money for freebies, but not enough parental support. Virtually all are children living with divorced mom.</p>
<p>Interesting about the different takes on post-HS "obligations" to kids.</p>
<p>Ex and I divorced when S was infant. The decree never mattered (although all support payments were timely made). Ex and I quickly (in retrospect) got past the anger and we never changed the decree. We did what we thought was best for our S and decided on how to pay for it. Same with college.</p>
<p>My take is that the anger clouds the mind. </p>
<p>Annika-- I agree in principle that the parent should have the "choice" after the kid graduates from HS concerning what she or he contributes to assist the young adult.</p>
<p>Along the lines of 07DAD, my ex and I included 50/50 commitment for college tuition in our divorce agreement. The only one who objected was the lawyer who was acting as mediator, who insisted we put in wording where we could wiggle out of it if it was a hardship. (this mediator was a waste of our $$) Of course, we also threw out the whole way California determines support and just agreed to pay 50/50 for an itemized list of costs. This worked well for us, and when things came up that weren't on the original list (who thinks of auto insurance when your kids are 5 and 3?) we just kept the same financial split.</p>