How to improve my essay? Sample inside to read.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Here's my essay from the January SAT. I was wondering what I should work on to make it better. Guess what score it received, and I'll tell you.</p>

<p><a href="https://nsat.collegeboard.org/satweb/scorereport/essayImageAction.do?para1=B415D805362FF292E043AC14A48EF292p1&pageNum=1%5B/url%5D"&gt;https://nsat.collegeboard.org/satweb/scorereport/essayImageAction.do?para1=B415D805362FF292E043AC14A48EF292p1&pageNum=1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p><a href="https://nsat.collegeboard.org/satweb/scorereport/essayImageAction.do?para1=B415D805362FF292E043AC14A48EF292p1&pageNum=2%5B/url%5D"&gt;https://nsat.collegeboard.org/satweb/scorereport/essayImageAction.do?para1=B415D805362FF292E043AC14A48EF292p1&pageNum=2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Edit: The only thing I could think of is that I really stretched my examples to fit the prompt...</p>