<p>First off, I thank you for reading this, and welcome any advice you can offer (or even words of encouragement). Well, I never was a social butterfly. In high school, I was loner who tried to make up for shortcomings in my social skills by excelling in classes. Despite promising myself not repeat my high school mistake again in college, I slowly worked my way back to my old roots. Some of this wasn't my fault. I had three roommates that I couldn't real connect to (One was a total rager, the other was always high, and the third one was too preppy). I joined a flag football team which led neither to me making friends nor even a meet up for lunch with my teammates. I even got a job to improve my social skills, but this made me feel stressed out even more (some customers can be real d!cks). Despite my attempts, I also blame myself for missing some opportunities. There was a nice girl across for my dorm that invited me to lunch and to a party (I guess she felt bad that I wasn't socializing), and I turned her down both times. Even when I did ask her to tag along with her friends for dinner, I was too anxiety-ridden to say a word to them at dinner. This experience, along with a couple of other failures, caused me to withdrew physically and mentally from people. I tried to find solace by working on my assignments, walking, and hiding in the library. While I was away from my dorm, I, according to my preppy roommate, blew another opportunity to hang out when the nice girl's roommate invited me for drinks Even though I got on the Dean's list both semesters, I felt like I was going to crack second semester. It was through sheer will alone that I got good grades, and ignored the growing pains of loneliness. I believe it is important more than ever that I socialize to continue succeeding, improve my social skills, and make some friends along the way.</p>
<p>Utilize the counseling at Student Services.
Your social anxiety is hindering your ability to connect with people.
And you are obsessing about missed opportunities.
You may want to keep your location private and NOT put your actual college location if you want to discuss your mental health concerns.</p>
<p>Talking to a counselor is a great idea. They can help you develop some skills and help you find out why you’re so anxious in the first place. Also, it seems like you already know what to do and tried to donut last year. You just need to have a lot more self control (and self confidence but that probably comes later). If you have an invitation, make it a priority to go. Do not make it an instance where you refuse because you have homework or something. This will keep you in a cycle of being married to your academics and not trying to grow as a person. Social skills are really important in life and this is kind of a last stop to learn, take advantage of your opportunities and try to challenge yourself to do things you’re not comfortable with</p>
<p>beerme - I don’t really care to hide my SA because everyone knows that I’m at least very shy. However, I just shouldn’t put down my location anyway.</p>
<p>It always take huge motivations to get people out of these funks, but when you’re in college its easier.</p>
<p>Just force yourself to be in more awkward situations. </p>
<p>The easiest solution (although this may be controversial) is to drink more. You’ll lose your inhibitions and you won’t care about being shy; you’ll just talk to be talking…in fact, its always the shy people who I have to tell stop talking because they’ve kept so much in so they’re ready to release it…It may not be the politcally correct answer, but we all know it definitely helps a lot.</p>
<p>School starts in about a month (well for me anyway) so don’t turn down those get togethers or open socializing events that are held at the beginning of the year. Don’t even look at them as socializing events because the word “socializing” seems to scare people. Just think about it as an event where everyone won’t be in their right mindsets to even think about you as the guy that doesn’t talk much. When you make friends at those parties however its up to you to keep your connections with them, but thats usually the easy part. </p>
<p>And to top it all off, people in college are more accepting to change – they won’t see you as the “try-hard” who’s trying to get more friends because you were shy the first year like they may have viewed you in high school.</p>
<p>Excuse any typos or grammar errors…I was rushing to type this lol</p>
<p>Don’t listen to 908Kiddo about the drinking. As someone who is very sociable, I can tell you that most people secretly dislike the guy whose always wasted and ‘looses’ their inhibition. Do you have any interests? If so look for clubs that are related to those interests. Volunteering in civil activities organized by the school is also a good way to meet a lot of people. Typically the people volunteering are going to be much nicer than they the people you’ll meet in a frat house. Invite your friends out, if you live on campus then go to dorm activities. Don’t feel uncomfortable and nervous because that translates and transfers to people. Instead, just be yourself. There are a lot of people who have a soft sport for initially shy individuals just read body language and energy and you’ll be sure to make friends.</p>