<p>My college life's bottled down to going to classes, going to a few clubs, and eating food at the diner. Im really bored. Im sick of spending time on the computer. I went through the whole list of clubs but didnt find anything real interesting. Im already in the ones I find interesting and even those are kind of boring. Meeting girls (and people) in class or clubs or at the diner just isnt working for me. I think its kind of creepy just going up to them alone and starting a conversation.</p>
<p>Do you know this expression?</p>
<p>“People do not find love when looking for it”</p>
<p>None of my currently meaningful relationships with anyone, friends or otherwise, began by randomly going up to someone and starting a conversation. These things are random and if you try too hard, you won’t find what you’re looking for. Focus on yourself and being the best, kindest, most friendly person you can be and you’ll have the best luck.</p>
<p>I usually meet new friends through a current friend that I have or through the group of friends that I have now. It’s easier to make friends and hang out with new friends when you already have a mutual friend in common.</p>
<p>I have always found that working out at the gym is a good thing to do when your social life is going bad.</p>
<p>At least you will be accomplishing something, and you have just as good a chance as striking up a conversation with a girl at the gym than you do at a bar.</p>
<p>Also, study in the library, where there are people. Not in your dorm room.</p>
<p>Chatting with people who sit next to you in class is probably the easiest way to strike up random conversations without it looking strange or forced. Before class primarily, if you get there early and there are people sitting close enough to you. I would find it odd if someone walked up to me at the diner or library and randomly started talking.</p>
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<p>Not necessarily. It’s called small talk. Use it when appropriate, and even though most conversations will go nowhere, you will eventually find a few friends.</p>
<p>what dorm u in at UMD op? r u an engineer?</p>
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<p>I totally agree with the above comment. Walking up to strangers on campus? That would scare me. :(</p>
<p>what if that stranger were to be the old spice guy?</p>
<p>or scarlett johansson, depending on your preferences?</p>
<p>I think looks trumps personality in short term situations.</p>
<p>Honestly Ive heard most of what you’ve said a dozen times before. Ive pretty much tried it all.
Things are a lot harder than they appear.
Library - even when youre next to them, theyre usually in their zone and I wouldnt know how to do it gracefully without coming off weird and besides there are dividers between tables for most of it.
Classes - same thing. Ive found most people only chat and sit next to people they already know. Dont see anyone chatting up random people theyve never met before but me</p>
<p>Basically everywhere I see people doing their own thing. Hanging with people who are already in their deeply ingrained social circles. </p>
<p>Anyhow, I do have a few friends but the all seem to do their own thing and either dont have too many mutual friends they can show me or theres just a lack of a situation for them to as theyre usually off doing their own stuff and its not like i can (or should) demand them to show me their friends desperately</p>
<p>Ok, first of all. Why would you bump an old thread AND create a new one on the same topic? It’s doesn’t guarantee more posts, it just complicates things.</p>
<p>Now, on topic: I don’t pretend to know the intricacies of the female psyche, but again and again I see people say, “don’t go up to random people and talk to them. That’s creepy. Just be confident.” </p>
<p>People say that women are attracted to men who are cool and confident and ******-baggy as if this is the only way to appear confident. I do think that to really be attractive to girls who have to show some teeth once in a while–meaning, you gotta have the capacity to be mean and follow up on your threats. Show your dominance in some way, if you prefer the more visceral interpretation. </p>
<p>However, I don’t think being a ****** a la The Situation is necessarily the only, or best, way to go about this. I don’t know if you folks consistently watch ABC’s “raging, smash-hit comedy” Modern Family. But in the event that you do, think of the personality that the dad has (I’m not talking about Al Bundy or either of the gay guys). It’s off-beat, but it’s fun. It’s self-deprecating, but it’s not mopey or weak. It’s goofy, but it’s not particularly creepy. Most importantly, it’s a confident personality and a genuine one. </p>
<p>^I speak, not from personal experience but from observation, when I say that I’ve met plenty of guys with such personalities who were successfully with friends and women. It can be annoying, but as long as you aren’t an A-hole, it’s easy to pull off.</p>
<p>Women between the ages of 16 and 25 tend to be very superficial. The only things that a girl of this age <em>might</em> consider more important than physical appearance are 1) fame and 2) a good sense of humor. Musical ability may be taken into consideration in very exceptional cases. Thus, men who have not been blessed with the best genes should focus first on being funny.</p>
<p>If you are christian, girls in those organizations are single and dying for a relationship.</p>
<p>Another thing is YOU need to put YOURSELF out there. You need to say “Hey, how’s it goin? Oh, you’re in XYZ class, aren’t you?”. YOU NEED TO PUT IN THE WORK.</p>
<p>The only way I met people through a class is
a) “You seem to get this/think the way I do. Can I get your number so we can help each other out some time?”
b) We’re in a tutoring session and we connect some how during the session
c) I’m doing something else (at the grocery store, coffee shop, or an organization or event) and we recognize each other from class and chat</p>
<p>Those are the only ways I made friends through a class</p>